Call of the Vampire
by Just4ALE
Summary: 3rd story in the 'American Vampire Series.' Read as B&E's relationship progresses. Now engaged, will they make it to the altar? AU/Vampires/Humans. My vamps are slightly different from SM's.
1. Dirty Vulcan Mind Meld

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**_Note: This is the third part of my two earlier stories: An American Vampire in Chicago and Sleeps With A Vampire. __If you're new to the series, I'd recommend reading those two first. _**

**

* * *

Chapter 1: Dirty Vulcan Mind-Meld**

**BPOV**

April 2005

Okay, Too Much Information alert: I wasn't much of a screamer during sex.

In fact, I was very quiet. The most you might get out of me were some moans, whimpers, a shout out to our Lord and an occasional 'Edward.'

Of course, if anyone had a reason to scream out, it would be me.

My boyfriend Edward was amazing! He had smoldering green eyes, beautiful copper brown hair that was in a permanent state of mussed-upedness, a lean muscular body, limber fingers, graceful moves, a tongue like velvet and fangs that just sent you to another place.

Wait, I did mention that he was a vampire, right?

Actually, he wasn't my boyfriend anymore. He was my fiancé, and I was a mere mortal.

So back to the screaming. Even in Karate I was silent: I never made the big powerful grunt like I was supposed to when I did a good punch or kick. I was a very reserved person, practically a Star Trek Vulcan from all outside appearances. I was just private. I didn't want my neighbors knowing my business.

But that didn't mean that I was silent in my head. No, I definitely was making some noise in there.

Which worked out just fine for Edward because once my energy level got above an eight on the Bella Swan-energy scale, he could hear everything I was thinking.

Let me backtrack for a second to catch you up. Hmmm, how to do this concisely?

I met Edward Cullen outside of my Karate class about a year and a half ago. He stalked me. I figured out he was a vampire relatively quickly. We fell in love. That's the short version of the story.

I was a virgin when we met and when he first bit me to save my life. The bite marked me as his which in theory would keep other vampires away. After that, we slept together. He was my first, On occasion he would bite me during sex. Because of the original bite and because of his bond to me, all bites for him were like the first time – with the essence of pure virgin blood. Super yummy to a vampire.

A love bite of this sort for a human was like a drug. There were not enough words in the world to describe the feeling of pure pleasure throughout your entire body for hours. Add an extremely talented and sexually exciting vampire making love to you and you had the directions to Nirvana.

Edward was a special vampire. He was a civilized one, which meant that he did not attack and eat humans for nourishment. Like most civilized vampires, he survived off of blood from blood banks and/or he hunted animals for food. Before he bit me, he hadn't tasted live human blood for about 70 years. He lived among humans, studying, teaching, helping them through charity work. When I met him, he was working on his 9th advanced degree – a PhD in Biology.

He'd had companions with whom he had lived over the years who he considered family: they were, for all intents and purposes, his father, mother and siblings. He had superpowers: he could read auras/energy levels. He could manipulate energy, levitating objects or unbuttoning the blouse of his all-too-willing girlfriend with his mind. And he could read minds. All minds… except for mine. My mind was silent most of the time until my energy level escalated above an eight. Then it was open to him.

And then there's me. A 26-year-old recent graduate from the University of Chicago's Business School with a love of movies, ice skating, puzzles, my iPod, and Karate. Not much to my story.

Except that about three months ago, I was attacked by an old friend of Edward's and in the process was impaled by the same stake that had been used on both Edward by his "friend" James, and in turn Edward used on him. In his last desperate act, James impaled us both. Wooden stakes only incapacitate a vampire temporarily. They can cause a human to bleed out and almost die.

But Edward saved me by cutting himself open and letting me drink some of his blood. Now I knew that if Edward drained me to the point just before my heart stopped beating and then let me drink his blood, I would turn into a vampire. However, until this happened I didn't know that vampire blood ingested without the first part of the process, actually healed. Of course, it kind of made sense... their blood made them stronger, faster and immortal. I guess we ordinary humans never figured this out because what we generally knew of vampires was that they bit and killed. What reason would a vampire have to save a human?

Anyway, drank his blood: instantly healed! And then I somehow inherited one of his powers. I could read his mind.

Once my energy level escalated to a happy place for me… a three or higher… I could hear everything he thought. And the boy had quite the dirty mind! I say "boy" because physically, my fiancé was 17 years old – and smokin' hot for someone who had been on this earth for 104 years.

So my horny fiancé thought about sex ALL the time… and once I could hear him, it started having an influence on me.

I had his images in my head, and his words – good God – his dirty words! Which only served to make me… erotically charged. Sorry, Edward could be labeled as horny. I was a still somewhat a lady: I was "erotically charged" much like ladies "glisten", they don't "sweat".

When I could hear his mind, I heard words I'd never ever thought of saying associated with sex before I heard them coming from him. You can bet that he tried his best to get me and keep me above an eight as often as possible… just so that he could hear me say the f-word when I was having an orgasm or if I wanted him to, well, you know. Sorry, still a lady here. I only ever said the f-word out loud if I was really pissed off.

Speaking of which, my anger really turned him on. When I was angry, my energy level shot up like a rocket and usually he would just jump me. He used to be able to surprise me, but ever since my new mind reading talent… busted! I was ready for him! So… when he got like that, I had to be ready for him. Because I may have been able to head off his thoughts, but I couldn't head off his body ghosting to me out of nowhere or his Jedi talents undressing me from across the room.

It was quite the shock to hear Edward's inner monologue at first. He had such beautiful sweet things coming out of his mouth – _Bella, sweetness, I love you_ – that were nothing like what he was thinking at the same time: _Fuck me! Belllla, you feel so good! You're mine._ It was like two Edwards were coming at me at once.

Imagine that just for a moment. Not one stunning and extremely talented vampire but two… one on the outside of your body and one on the inside.

Here, let me help you off of the floor.

So our new Vulcan mind-meld was actually perfect for Edward's plan to make me less inhibited. We could have sex in all these places and with our dirty inner dialogue going on between us it would be quiet on the outside and a porn movie on the inside, which left every place imaginable open in his mind. But, hey, I wasn't an exhibitionist. And I quickly had to put a stop to this strange Green Eggs and Ham-like list that kept running through his head. "No Edward… I will not do it in a stall, I will not do it in the mall."

At first, this new hearing power of mine was awesome. Then it became distracting!

"Edward, how do you deal with this?" I asked. "How do you shut it off?"

"Bella, welcome to my world." He chuckled. "I hear everyone. You only hear me."

"Yeah, but you're constantly thinking about sex..."

"Point of clarification," he said, getting up from his chair to crawl on the bed and hover over me. "I think about sex all the time with you only. I've waited 85 years to find my woman, Bella. I think I've earned the right to think naughty thoughts about my desirable fiancée."

"… and now all I can think about is sex thanks to you!" I finished.

He grinned at me. "I know, awesome isn't it?" He began kissing my neck. Thank God I was only at a four right now… but I could hear him and those thoughts were shooting me up a few notches quickly. A little more and it would be all she wrote for any sleep.

He started unbuttoning my pajama top and caressing me. And then the velvet tongue came out to play. And the thoughts..._ We will do it in the bed, I want you to give me head..._

"Aaagh!" I yelled, pushing him away. "Stop that! All your thoughts are infecting mine!"

His hands started groping me. "Sorry babycakes, no can do."

Edward knew that I hated all derivatives of the word baby as a term of endearment. My eyes narrowed. "Oh, man, you're trying to piss me off now, huh?"

He pulled back to look at me, wiggling his eyebrows with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Ya think?"

"Edward, you've had me up until at least 3 a.m. for the past several weeks. Seriously, we're at it all of the time now... almost non-stop; I'm tired like the wolf!"

He paused. "What?"

"What, do you think the wolf is only hungry?"

He smirked and moved back toward my neck. "What does it matter how late you're up?" he murmured, his lips moving down my neck and across my shoulder. "You just graduated and you have months off before you need to start at your job. I want to enjoy all the time with you that I can get before you're off to work. Especially if you end up traveling like a madwoman. I can't believe that you're going back to BCG."

"They made me an offer I couldn't refuse… you know that."

"What is this, The Godfather? I told you that it didn't matter where you landed your job… you didn't have to take the one in Chicago. I would have gone wherever you wanted."

"Okay, we've been through this. A) The other offers were in San Francisco or Boston. Like I wanted to be near either Tanya or Jacob! B) Chicago is centrally located enough to make U.S. travel easier. C) The money was the best with BCG. And as a returning Associate, they're paying off my student loans. That's huge!"

"Bella, you're going to be my wife. Money is not a problem here."

"I just went to B'school to become independent and then I'm going to turn around and let my trophy husband support me?"

"The salaries at the other jobs were not minimum wage. You have a warped view."

"And D)," I said, ignoring him, "the office head promised that my first few projects will be in Chicago. I'll get to see you just as often."

He sat up. "I'd like it to be more often."

I frowned. "More often? We see each other every night." Then I heard where he was going with this. "Oh!"

He held my hand. "Right. I think you should give up your apartment now and move in here sooner rather than later."

"Edward, are you sure…"

"Well, we've started on the renovations to the back area of the house. I'm hoping that the redesign will completely remove any traces of James from this place for you."

"It's not that."

"Then what?"

I was hesitant and spoke carefully. "Well, you've always insisted that it would be safer for me at my apartment based on the invitation rule." Vampires could not harm a person on their property or in their home once the person invited them in. "You had to tear James apart before dealing with me a few months ago because you were afraid you'd hurt me here. If I move in here, what happens?"

"I'd put your name on the deed too, Bella. This way it is your home as well. The same rules would apply."

"Really?" That didn't seem right to me. It was his original family home. This seemed a fuzzy area in the vampire code of conduct.

"Really. Please consider it."

And then he kissed me softly. It was amazing to me that he still had the capacity to be gentle despite his constant horniness. He continued unbuttoning my pajama top until I was exposed to him. And then he pulled me up to straddle him.

Sometimes, like that night that he asked me to move in with him, there was only one Edward making love to me as the inner voice matched the sweet outer voice. That one could touch my soul and make me cry as I hit the height of my orgasm.

"Vampires don't cry, huh?" I had asked him a few weeks before, feeling like a moron for tearing up. I had become more emotional on occasion now that we could hear each other.

"Our vampire bodies don't work the way the human bodies work. The only time you might ever see a vampire shed a tear is if it is one in a bonded pair; the loss of one's soulmate will affect the vampire to their very core. But our tear isn't like a human tear: we shed only what we have in us… our blood."

I kissed him softly. "Then I guess I'll never see you cry since you won't lose me."

"I don't ever want to lose you, my beautiful Bella."

That night, he wiped the tears from my eyes putting the last few on his fingers into his mouth. "Mmmm, even your tears taste good Bella." His lips started to move down my body, his tongue tasting every part of me. _Damn, everything on you and in you tastes good…_

And then the two Edwards came out to play again.

_Nope, I'm not getting any sleep tonight._

* * *

**A/N: Two Edwards at once! Imagine it! Like my other stories, this will unfold at its own little pace. Be warned… lots of ups and downs as the story progresses in this one. More stuff to handle and longer chapters... Please stay with me... and do NOT jump to premature conclusions as you ride through this one. I'm serious. **

**And please leave some feedback too... it really helps!  
**

_Post A/N: After posting the original version of this story, I found a Beta! The lovely Irritable Grizzzly has reviewed my stories to help correct minor issues. No content changes here or on any future chapters._


	2. Eveready Edward

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 2: Eveready Edward**

**EPOV**

Although we'd been together for more than a year, the fact that I couldn't read Bella's mind all of the time was still frustrating to me. I had gotten very good at reading her expressions, but that didn't compare to being able to hear her when she went above her shield threshold… particularly now that she could hear me. Now she had the upper hand many times.

Plus, I couldn't surprise her! If she was in any basic state of happiness – which obviously I wanted her to be in – she could hear my every thought. So she was thrilled when I decided to take her to Las Vegas as a mini graduation gift… but she knew before I mentioned it. It was like having Alice around! Nor could I surprise her about my family joining us.

Anyway, here we were flying to Vegas for a few days and I watched my beautiful fiancée with great curiosity as she sat in her seat, her brow furrowed. She listened to her iPod, shaking her head quite often and scribbling furiously on a small notebook that she carried in her bag. As she stopped to listen, she'd put the top of the pen to her mouth and tapped her bottom lip. _Jesus, she needs to stop that._

"Bella love what are you working on? You're on vacation and you look like you're aggravated!" _Hmmm, how aggravated will she get? One can only hope…_

"I heard that, Edward," she said looking at me and rolling her eyes. "I'm creating a new playlist for my iPod."

This I had to hear. I loved Bella's play lists. They reflected her unique way of thinking. There was one called "This Is The New Stuff" which was comprised not of new songs, but ones she'd downloaded recently… so she didn't want to hear it when I pointed out that Don't Fear the Reaper wasn't exactly new. Of course there was her "Loud and Kicking" playlist, which I had already renamed as "Vampire Songs", since the list was almost completely comprised of songs sung by, written by, played by or about vampires. And she had one called "Don't Need to Know Words"… because a large or important part of the song only had na, na's or la la's in them, and it included "The Boxer" and "Hey Jude".

I smirked. "What is the playlist this time?"

"Stupid Guy Regrets His Dumbass Actions."

"What?"

"There's a LOT of songs that fit this in this category. I hate these songs of regret. What happened? In lots of these, it seems it was the guy's fault."

_Reaally? The guy's fault_. "Okay. Such as?"

"Don't think at me with that disbelieving '_reaally,_'" she said. "Such as: Don Henley's "Heart of the Matter" – he definitely screwed it up. Snow Patrol's "Chocolate" – I think he cheated on her. Jason Mraz "You and I". The Moody Blues "I Know You're Out There Somewhere" – where did he go? Why does he have to find her? Oh and they have another one: "Your Wildest Dreams" – he's wondering if she still thinks about him. It sounds like he left to go do his thing, so I hope she moved on and that the answer to that question is a big fat NO."

She was scrolling through her iPod. "Genesis' "Afterglow". Yes… oh, maybe not," she said softly thinking about it. "In this one I think someone may have actually died. That is a song of real loss… so I won't put it on the playlist." Then she was aggravated again. "But the rest? Dumbass guys! Why would they do those things if they loved their partner?"

I reached for her hand. "Bella, love, I thought about leaving you after the incident in Paris."

"What?!" she barked out, ripping the earbuds from her ears. The other passengers looked at us. She flushed, realizing her volume and then she brought it down a few notches. "Are you trying to piss me off?" she hissed. _Hmmm, no but if this does it..._ Her eyes narrowed. "Seriously Edward, I'd never be better off without you!"

"Bella, I've already endangered your life three times in our first year together between the pond, Paris and James. You'd be better off without me already… although it would destroy me to do it."

She put her fingers in her ears… "Na, na, na… not listening! Putting on my iPod." She put in her earbuds and continued to scroll through the list looking for songs. "Don't make me add you to my list of dumbass guys, Edward. Stupid." she muttered.

_Excellent, she's a little pissed off at me… mile high?_

"Don't even think it, Mr. Cullen. Not on a day flight with all these passengers awake and looking…" she said, pressing play.

_Damn it… no surprises._

~#~

When we arrived at the airport a man in a suit met us holding up a Bellagio sign indicating my name. We followed him out of baggage claim. Bella looked at me curiously. "My family is known here," I said.

"How so?"

"Aside from Esme and Carlisle, we're all big gamblers. We're not quite "whales" individually, but amongst the whole family, we've been known to gamble and/or win half a million during a weekend."

"Holy smokes! I thought it was just Emmett and Jasper!" she said.

"It's all of them. Emmett is big on Blackjack. Alice loves Roulette, although she's obviously good at card games as well. Jasper plays Blackjack and Craps, and Rosalie is great at Poker, particularly with Jasper playing at her table."

"How does Jasper help?"

I explained quietly, out of earshot of our driver."Well, female poker players are rare. Really beautiful ones, even more so. They join a table and Jazz riles them up so they're lusting after her until they can't think straight and then the two of them clean up. But even without Jazz's help, she's still damn good. She can read people."

We were at the limo now and got in. "Could you please raise the window, sir?" I asked. The driver complied; our compartment was now separated from the driver.

"Do you gamble at all, Edward?" Bella asked. I moved in close to kiss her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose, ending on her lips.

"Well, obviously, I do well at Poker but I leave that game to the others," I murmured. "I like Craps myself."

She heard my internal chuckling and she looked at me, as her brow furrowed trying to understand the reason. "Really?" Then she realized why. "Oh. Edward, you do not…"

I kissed her on the forehead. "Hey, gotta put these talents to good use somehow."

"But that's cheating!"

"What, am I going to go to Hell for helping people win a little?" My hands started wandering. _Hmmm, how long do we have to get to the Bellagio? With traffic, 10-15 minutes. Might be enough time… We have done it in a limo… um, what rhymes with limo..._

"Edward, nothing rhymes with limo!" And then she lowered her voice and brought her mouth close to my ear. "At this time of day, it won't take long to get there… and I want more than ten minutes with you," she breathed.

I growled. "Bella, not helping me wait. Don't play with my control."

"Come again?" she whispered, climbing on my lap and pressing her mouth down on mine. _You are a tease, Bella Swan... I don't think so..._

As it turns out, it was 15 minutes and it was plenty of time...

~#~

As the limo pulled up to our private entrance, the head of VIP services was waiting, practically bouncing on his heels. "Ah, Mr. Edward, welcome back to the Bellagio. So nice to see you again."

"Thank you, Marcus. It is nice to see you too. Please, it is just Edward. Marcus, I'd like to introduce you to my fiancée, Bella Swan."

"How wonderful! Ms. Swan, it is a pleasure to meet you. I hear that you're celebrating your graduation?"

Bella looked surprised. She wasn't used to the VIP treatment. "Uh, yes."

The butler ran to take our bags and Bella began a tug of war with him. "Bella, you can let him take it," I said.

"It's a carry-on, Edward. I've been a consultant and I know how to travel. I can roll my own bag into the place."

She was ridiculously independent and clearly not used to this lifestyle… something she'd just have to get used to. "Just let him have it Love." She finally let go.

"We have your private villa all set up," Marcus said, gesturing behind him.

"Is the rest of the family here?" I asked.

"Mr. Emmett and Ms. Rosalie are in their villa and Mr. Jasper and Ms. Alice and Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are in up in their suites."

Marcus showed us into our accommodations. The Bellagio villas and our upstairs suites were available by invitation only… and the Cullen family was always invited. Bella walked in and her eyes opened wide. "Edward, this is bigger than your house!" She turned to Marcus. "Um, how many bedrooms does this – villa – have?" she asked.

"This is the smaller of the two types of villas we have here, with only 6,500 square feet – 2 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and your own private garden and pool. Butler service is available around the clock."

She looked at me again. "This is the _smaller villa_? This place is definitely big enough for another couple! Why are we all so far apart?"

I smirked at her. Ever practical, but obviously missing the bigger picture. "Do you really want to share a hotel room with my family?"

She flushed. "Oh, no, you're right."

I laughed. "This is the hotel version of Cullen soundproofing."

Marcus continued. "We have the family line of credit open so you're free to play whenever you want. And we have the tickets to O for you for tomorrow night…"

Bella whipped around and started clapping. Her energy shot up to a five. "O! Really? That's awesome!"

"And the Zumanity tickets for Saturday night," Marcus finished.

Bella's expression changed instantly and she dropped to a two. I chuckled. "Well, Mr. Edward, Ms. Bella, I think that is about it." Marcus handed me his card. "You can buzz for the butler any time or call me if you have any other needs."

"Again, just Edward is fine," I said, knowing he'd never call me that. "Thank you, Marcus," I said, watching them leave.

Bella's facial expression was almost one of horror. "Zumanity? The naked Cirque show?"

"It isn't naked, Love, it is a celebration of the body. 'The sensual side of Cirque du Soleil.'"

She made another face and shuddered. "Edward, who wants to see naked acrobats? Oh, hey, you cut that out!" she said, hearing my thoughts and blushing.

"Well, if you'd just let me get that trapeze swing going at home, I'm ready anytime you are… Happy to have you teach me some of your old circus school moves." _We'll fly through the air with the greatest of ease, you atop me on the flying trapeze…_

"Not quite Seusian there," she said. "Please tell me the whole family isn't going."

"Okay, I'll tell you that if you'd like, but you can read my mind so you'd know I'd be lying." I said grinning at her.

She sighed. "So when are we meeting up with everyone?"

"Later tonight, probably. My guess is after your dinner." I looked around the villa, making a mental note of what we had there. _Hmmm, table – nice and big. Chair – looks comfy. Bar – a little high, but we can manage. Pool – definitely. Whirlpool – yessiree Bob._

"Edward," she said, laughing, "you know that I can hear you, don't you?"

"Good," I said, ghosting to wrap her in my arms. Ever since she'd developed her mind reading talent, I was able to get her riled up more easily. I'd been a horn-dog for her before this all happened but now… I was better than the Energizer bunny! _Just call me Eveready Edward._ I'd keep going and going until she pulled the plug for a little shut eye. It was so easy now: I'd think my typical dirty thoughts about her which would elevate her energy – and arousal – as she started thinking naughty things herself, which would in turn make me think even wilder things… which finally escalated her so that I could hear her thoughts. And then it was a free for all. A tower of horniness. I wasn't holding back these days... and she was like a magnet, drawing me to her time and time again.

"Then where first? My vote is for the pool," I said. I'd already managed to unhook her bra and was now reaching for the hem of her top.

She grasped my hands in hers to stop me. "Whoa, boy! What do you mean 'first'? Were you not there with me in the limo a little while ago?"

I grinned at her. "That was only foreplay."

She blinked. "Foreplay. Right." She looked behind her toward the patio and the pool. "Oh, I didn't even think to pack a bathing suit! I only think of swimming in the summer."

"Bathing suit? Okay, now you did just hear him say that it was a private pool, right?" I ran my lips up and down her neck, my tongue darting out to taste her silky skin. _Jesus, you smell and taste so good. Fuck, Bella, I need you now._

I knew that that my actions with those words in her head got her going. She threw her head back giving me better access to her neck as her body pressed in closer to mine. She shot up to an eight instantly. _Edward, we're not going to make it to the pool at this rate_…

"Hmmm, good thing this rug looks comfy," I said, pulling her down with me to the floor.

~#~

Bella took a small nap after round two; she was tired a lot lately due to our increased activities. I knew that I should ease up, but I just couldn't get enough of her, I so loved pleasing her and hearing her in my head. I had the butler bring lunch for when she awoke. He also brought a bag for her from Alice: a bathing suit. Bella went to try it on in one of the bathrooms. After she hadn't exited for a long time, I came looking for her.

"Bella, Love, are you okay? Did you fall in?"

Her voice was quiet. "Um, no. It's just that this bathing suit doesn't leave much to the imagination."

"So? It is only us."

"Edward, I can't even look at myself in it! I don't wear bikinis."

"Bella, I've seen you in your underwear. I've seen you naked. What difference does it make?"

"But that is behind closed doors, _usually_, or in a darkened place at the very least. I don't know… I'm just shy when it comes to being outside in the daylight in something like this! Plus my bathing suits usually have more material. Hell, some of my underwear has more material than this! Maybe I'll just put the underwear back on and swim in that."

"Alice will be a little put out if you don't even use the suit once. Open the door and let me see. I'm sure you look beautiful."

She unlocked the door and slowly stepped out.

_Holy shit._

She was a vision. Deep blue. Low cut halter top. Rings looped to the fabric. Black strings looped in the rings keeping the top and the barely there bottom… um… on. I'd seen her naked a hundred times but somehow as she stood there turning pink in this little blue bikini, I felt like a true teenager getting his first look at a Victoria's Secret's catalog… and wanting to whack off at the image. Why this made a difference at all, I had no idea. But the suit was like a neon sign going off in my brain flashing: 'Take Her, Take Her, Take Her.' Add that to her lovely scent as she flushed and I was going to lose it.

I cleared my throat and tried to remain calm. "You look stunning, Love. That color blue is lovely with your skin tone. Just beautiful." _We WILL make it to the pool, we WILL make it to the pool._ Which, by the way, was only 20 yards away.

She exhaled. "I'm sure YOU like it. Please don't destroy it. I'm afraid of what she might buy to replace it if you do."

She walked ahead of me to the patio and I ogled her butt. _You're mine, Bella. Mine._

She giggled. "Of course I'm yours Edward. Who else's would I be? You say – or rather, think – that a lot."

"I do?" I asked. I hadn't noticed. My hands started reaching to touch her butt.

"Edward, you're killing me here!" She turned around and walked backward, her eyes staring into mine, her hands reaching out to hold mine... keeping them off of her. My eyes wandered downward however.

"Yo, Cullen!" she said. "My eyes are up here." She motioned with her index and middle fingers, pointing to her eyes and then gesturing to mine back and forth.

_Sure thing, DeNiro. _"Okay, I've decided that you need to wear this ALL of the time," I said, "Preferably with stiletto heels."

"You know I don't own stilettos, horn-dog. I'd break my neck in those." She was amused. "Wow… Alice knows what she's doing. But why? As you said, you've seen me with less on."

I broke free of her hands, tossed her over my shoulder and ghosted out to the patio.

She heard my intent right before it happened. "Oh no you don't!" she yelled, as I threw her in the pool.

She thrashed around and then sputtered to the surface. She pushed her hair out of her face and looked up at me, her eyes darkening. "What the hell! You couldn't have eased me into this?" she asked, as she rose to stand putting her hands on her hips.

_Why, no, I couldn't. Does that bother you?_

"Oh you're evil," she said, her eyes narrowing. "Stop trying to piss me off!" She was at a five now.

"Who, me?" I dove in and swam to her, moving to stand right in front of her. It was a heated pool and the water was nice and warm. Standing up, I shook the water out of my hair, sending it flying all over her. "Bella, I would never try to do that," I teased. I held her tight to my body and swam with her until she was against the side of the pool. Gently, I ran my hands from her waist up the side of her body under her arms and pushed them up and out of the pool placing them so that they were on the pool ledge. And then I reached for the strings holding her bottom on.

"Oops." I said, pulling on the string. I threw the bikini bottom on the pool deck. Six. Then I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

She blinked as she heard my mind and then gasped. "Really? You can do that? Oh, well, yeah, I guess you don't need to breathe," she whispered as my hands caressed her thighs, moving up higher toward her entrance. Seven.

Holding her gaze, I moved my hands and placed them over hers on the pool ledge. Then I gently moved up her arms, across her shoulders, caressing her collarbone and moving my hands slowly down her body. Still looking into my eyes, she inhaled and bit her bottom lip. Eight.

_Submerging. Going down, Bella._ I smiled and disappeared below the surface. I could still hear her…

_Oh, my. The magic tongue… you are one talented vampire, Edward Cullen._

_Thank you…_ I thought in my best Elvis tone… _Thank you very much._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Edward is the King! Thanks for reading so far. Please review.**


	3. Yo Eleven!

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 3: Yo Eleven!**

**BPOV**

I got a bit of sun, um, hanging out in the pool, which made me more than a little tired. Luckily, the sun drained Edward a bit as well which allowed us both to catch up on some rest. I got another small nap in and he… did whatever vampires do when they're resting.

Alice had the butler send over a dress for the evening for me, which I was scared to look at when it first arrived. I hoped that it wasn't designed to set Edward off again. I was relieved to see a rather tasteful little red dress, not too short and not too low-cut although it was a v-neck with an empire waste… something Alice filled me in on later – I didn't know from fashion! I paired it with the Clergerie heels from Paris and his mother's pendant and walked out of the bedroom to see Edward who was looking like a GQ model in a sports jacket over a polo shirt and slacks. _Damn, he's beautiful._

Edward's eyes appraised my outfit, taking in the minimal amount of cleavage in view before lingering on my legs and the heels. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes.

I sighed as I started to turn pink. "Yes, Edward, I do know how these legs would look wrapped around you and, no, I'm not going commando. Not around your family!"

"Damn your mind-reading skills," he said opening his eyes and smirking. He walked over to me and kissed me. "You look gorgeous. Let's go before we miss the whole evening," he said huskily, putting his arm around my waist and escorting me out of the villa to the waiting limo.

I decided that Blunt Bella needed to ask a burning question. "So, is there any chance we're eloping this weekend?"

He did a double take and pulled me closer to him. "I already told you, you deserve something wonderful and romantic for your wedding."

"But your family is here with us…" I said.

"What about your family?"

"Aw, you know I don't really want a wedding. I told you that. This would allow us to avoid an Alice extravaganza."

"You can't avoid that, Love. You know she already started planning with your mom and dad."

I sighed. "Okay, but please don't let her corner me about the wedding plans for the whole weekend. I really can't handle a big event!"

He stopped and turned me to look at him, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Most women dream of their wedding day, Bella."

"Edward Cullen, by now you should know that I'm not like most women," I said, smiling up at him.

He nodded. _I am well aware of that fact, my love. _He kissed my forehead and we got into the car.

We made our way down to the MGM Grand so that I could eat at L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon again, which was the culinary highlight of our Paris trip for me. I really would have preferred walking to the MGM, given its proximity to the Bellagio, but it took as long to get from our villa to the main grounds of the Bellagio as from the Bellagio down the Strip. As such, we spent the limo time 'discussing' the merits of that commando thing again.

We quickly reached a compromise and I went commando temporarily as long as I got to hold my undies and put them back on when we got into the hotel. _Oh God, his fingers!_ I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to eat food feeling like I did as we pulled up to the MGM. However, once we got inside and the casino air conditioning hit me, I was shocked into reality. Yikes, how do women go commando when it's this cold?! We immediately stopped by the ladies' room so that I could redress and I pointed him to the men's room. "Go wash your hands!" I hissed, and he only smirked, wiggled his fingers at me and started making up a poem.

_I made Bella cum at third..._

I finished it for him. "Bella then flipped me the bird," I said, holding up my index, middle and ring fingers on my right hand. "Read between the lines pal. Get in there._" _

"I love you, Bella," he said laughing, and then he kissed me quickly and turned to go into the men's room.

It was so much fun eating at the bar in the Vegas version of this restaurant. I was jonesing for meat, so I ordered the steak tartar and the beef and foie gras mini burgers with fries and this time we paired it with another fabulous glass of Bordeaux selected by Harley, the sommelier. The burgers with the little French fries were what I imagined it would be like dining in heaven. This would be my last meal request if I were a prisoner on death row and I was seriously considering asking Edward to have these flown in for me the night before making me into a vampire. Edward just watched me with fascination as I enjoyed every taste, moaning as I swallowed. I ignored his crazy thoughts while I savored every bite. Not kidding: heaven.

We skipped dessert to go back to the Bellagio since Edward told me they had dessert for me in Alice's and Jazz's suite. "That was a lot of red meat for you, love. You usually don't eat that much and you usually have it more cooked than that," Edward commented as we walked back to the Bellagio.

I shrugged. "I've been wanting red meat for the last couple of days. Sometimes the human body just craves different types of food, especially when you don't eat it that often."

"Ah, this vampire body only craves you," he said in a low husky tone, taking my hand in his and lifting it to his lips. He kissed it, looking into my eyes with a wicked gleam in his. _Despite how often I eat you..._

No matter how much time I spent with him, I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to his horny explicit thoughts popping out of nowhere. _Wha!!!! Lord, help me! _I almost tripped. He held me steady, clearly proud that he could rattle me.

I took a shaky breath before speaking_._ "Um, yes I've noticed that you've been craving it a lot more lately," I said. "Why is that?"

He laughed. "I think you're just more aware of it now that you can hear me. I've always felt like this."

"But you haven't bitten me in a while…"

He shrugged. "Hmmm, I don't know… my cravings for you have been more physical lately and our mind-meld seems to have been substituting somewhat for the bite." He dropped my hand and put his arm around my shoulder, leaning down to whisper seductively in my ear. "Don't worry my Bella, you still smell just as good to me in all ways."

We made our way up to the Presidential Suite where Alice and Jasper were staying. Emmett opened the door. "Hey little girl!" he said, hugging me. His nose wiggled a little and his brow furrowed for a moment. Then he continued. "Are you ready for your Cullen Vegas experience? I see you're in the villa farthest away from ours. Too chicken to stay near us, huh?"

"I'm human, Emmett," I said, stepping in the suite with Edward right behind me. "I still need sleep."

"I hear Edward has been making that difficult," he laughed, wiggling his eyebrows. "You guys are going to give me and Rose a run for our money here. I have NO idea what will happen once you're one of us, Bella. We'll NEVER see you if you're this active now."

I scrunched up my face and I looked at Alice who had ghosted over. "Must you share all?"

"You," she said, pointing at me. "I saw that conversation between you and Edward about the wedding. Don't even think about it!" She hugged me and stepped away. Her nose wiggled too. She stepped back and appraised the get up. "That dress looks adorable on you, Bella. I have such good taste." She smiled her beautiful impish grin. "I saw that Edward liked the swimsuit too," she laughed.

"Yeah, thanks Alice," he said smiling, raising an eyebrow as he looked at me. _Seriously, Bella, I think that bathing suit is your everyday home lounging outfit from now on._

"Yeah, thanks Alice," I muttered as shook my head at him.

"Bella, don't give me that tone: it looked like you damn well enjoyed it." I was sure that my face matched the color of my dress at that point.

"Anyway, with regard to your sex life…" she continued.

_Oh God help me…_

"…we're actually more fascinated in how it has changed Edward. He's just been so stoic with us all of these years. We knew of his out-of-house activities, of course, but in our home it was like living with a monk. We never knew he could be this inventive. We're taking notes."

_No, seriously, please help me now God._

We continued to walk in the room and I took in the suite. Again, huge! With over 4,000 square feet, it had two huge bedrooms, a solarium, an indoor garden, a huge bar and amazing views. As Alice showed me around, Rosalie appeared from behind the bar, handing me a glass of champagne and reaching out to hug me. Jasper came over soon after. Then they both made the same wiggly nose face. At this point, it registered on Edward even more and I could hear it too.

"Okay, WHAT is up with this?" I asked. "Do I stink? Why do you keep pointing out my smell to Edward?"

Emmett groaned. "Aw hell, it was bad enough when it was just Alice and Edward and their private conversations… now you too?"

"You don't smell bad, Bella, just… different." Jasper said quietly.

"I should smell different… I should smell like him!" I said pointing at Edward. "As you're obviously aware, he's all over me all of the time!"

"That's it!" Rosalie said. "You do smell like Edward a little. You always smelled good but now you smell better… you have a little of his honey-lilac smell added to your blood." She looked at Edward. "Don't you smell that?"

Edward looked puzzled. I could tell that this was new information for him.

"Jeez, Edward, maybe that explains some of your activities. You're attracted to your own scent!" Emmett said laughing. "Talk about being in love with yourself!" Jasper slapped Emmett behind his head. "Ow! Okay, no, in all seriousness, Edward, we're amazed. You're a GOD!" Emmett said, putting his hands and arms out in front of him and bowing up and down in mock reverence.

I was a little shocked that Edward's family was getting this into his sexual prowess. It seemed creepy.

"Actually," Rosalie said taking my hand and leading me to the couch to sit down, "I'm more fascinated by you, Bella."

_Okay, that's creepier._

"We have to ask you…" I could see Edward stiffen in the chair opposite me. And then I heard it… the deluge of questions and comments that was about to come. _Oh the horror. _They fired away, interrupting one another.

"We're vampires Bella, we can keep going. But you're human! How are you able to keep up? You're a machine!"

"How was the coatroom at graduation?

"We don't have all of the normal human appliances… how was it on the washing machine in your building? Did the vibrating of the machine add anything to the experience?"

"Edward doing that under the table thing to you at the night club... that was my favorite," Alice squealed.

"Mine too," said Rosalie, high-fiving Alice. _To tell you the truth, that _was_ one of my all time favorites too, but I'm not telling you guys that._

"Please tell me that Esme and Carlisle don't know about this," I said, covering my face with my hands.

"Are you kidding? Carlisle's going to try the under the table thing on Esme sometime this weekend." Rosalie replied.

_Please God, don't let me be ANYWHERE around them when that happens._

"How did you manage the trapeze swing? Sounded difficult," Emmett asked Edward.

Alice shook her head. "No, that one hasn't happened yet." Edward looked at Alice as she replayed her vision and then I got a view.

"Holy cow – you guys! Enough!" I said jumping up. Rosalie reached for my hand and pulled me gently to sit back down.

"Sorry, sweetie," Alice said. "It's just that we're like old married couples and this has been fascinating. We're all trying to pick up some tips. Jazz and I add props, right cowboy?" she said, grinning at Jasper. Then she turned back to me. "You know that Rose and Em destroy things, but we haven't been doing the public thing in the human world for a LONG time. We want to go to 11 too."

"Don't get us wrong, our sex lives are NOT boring, as you heard when you were in Denali," Rosalie added.

I looked over at Edward and mouthed the word 'HELP' wondering when he was going to put an end to this. He just rolled his eyes at me and shrugged. _No secrets in this family, Love. I told you that a long time ago._

"Seriously, if we could plug into Alice's brain like they do in "The Matrix", we'd all be sitting there eating popcorn and watching," Emmett piped in. "Your escapades are forcing us to step up our games. Of course your hearing each other has that added advantage, but our bites even it out a bit." Then his face changed as he got excited. "Hey, I have a great idea for a bet!"

Edward's eyes got big and then he grinned. I heard it soon after and then Emmett said it out loud. "Who can do it in more public places than the others this weekend?"

"NO!" I shouted, jumping up and looking at all of them as I stood in the middle of the living room. "I'M OUT! We're in Las FUCKING Vegas! There are cameras all around the place!"

As soon as I said the fuck word, Edward growled the lusty low growl I'd come to know too well and actually love… and his dirty thoughts started coming. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked over at Jasper. "Jazz," I said pointing at Edward, "a little help here?"

Jasper laughed and then sent calm waves over to settle down my horn-dog fiancé. "Oh, Bella," Edward sighed.

"Ah, that's where our skills come in to play. We know exactly where the cameras are and aren't." Emmett said.

"And we're VERY fast," Jasper piped in. I did a double-take. Jasper had been fairly silent on this topic until now. _Et tu, Brute?_

"Have you ever done it on the run yet, Bella?" Rose asked. I blinked, my face blank. "Oh you're missing out. Edward can carry you. You've got to try that one."

"Um, can't we just gamble the normal way?" I asked. "Let's go to the casino."

"We haven't even had your party yet, silly." Alice said. "We're waiting on Carlisle and Esme."

"Yeah, where are they, by the way?"

Emmett wiggled his eyebrows.

_Okay, is there nothing else to do when you're a vampire?_

The doorbell rang and I escaped to let Esme and Carlisle in. I hugged them and then saw them wiggle their noses as they stepped away from me. "Yeah, yeah. I know. Weird smell. Blame Edward."

~#~

The sex talk mercifully ended when Esme and Carlisle arrived… sort of. Carlisle was fascinated about my new mind reading capabilities and the modification to my scent.

"Edward, have you noticed any difference in your reaction to Bella? Clearly her scent is not repelling you; is it drawing you in more? It is calling to you?"

Edward's brow furrowed. "I've always felt drawn to her, but I don't think it is necessarily her scent alone. Bella?"

"I wouldn't know about the scent, but the activities have increased, as you're all WELL aware," I said, blushing. "He thinks it's due to the mind-reading… we're more connected now."

Carlisle considered this. "Well you should make sure to stay on top of any changes Edward. Something about the combination of your blood and Bella's is having an interesting effect on her and that will likely affect you and your bond to her and her blood."

Edward's eyes glanced at me from the side, a wickedly playful expression on his face. _I'll stay on top alright… _

My energy level shot up another notch. "Not helping," I muttered, poking him in the chest.

We moved to join the rest of the family and to my surprise there was a small platter of mini desserts on the coffee table and a few presents. Rosalie gave me a half-day at the Bellagio spa and the three women planned on joining me. Alice gave me a shopping spree at the Forum shops in Caesar's Palace, which she planned on taking me on the next morning: "For some work clothes, Bella." Jasper and Emmett gave me $1,000 for gambling money. Emmett winked at me. "You might be handing that back to me when Rose and I win the bet," he said.

And Carlisle and Esme gave me an envelope. "That's actually from the whole family," Esme said, hugging me.

Alice ghosted over. "Um, why don't you open it up in your villa at a later time?"

Edward looked at her, confused. And then he heard her… as did I. She was worried about the effect the present might have on me with everyone around. _Jeez, it must be a doozy. _She was probably right.

"Thank you Alice," I said. "Thank you all for everything. Whatever it is, I'm sure it is too much… but I appreciate it."

"Okay," Emmett said. "Let's go win some money."

~#~

As Edward had predicted, the Cullens had fun at their respective games. Rosalie joined a little Poker tournament with a $2,000 buy-in… and she came away with about $50,000 without Jasper's help. Alice played Roulette, remembering to lose a number on occasion, just to make the hotel feel like it was getting some money back from the family. Emmett was up and down on Blackjack but he seemed less into the table games now that he was pursuing his other family wager.

Jasper joined Edward and me at the Craps table and I was absolutely sure that we had the most fun table in Las Vegas between Jazz making everyone giddy and cheering and Edward making sure that the dice were hot. I have to say, Edward was good about not making his skills obvious and if he heard someone with a particularly unkind mind at the table, he made sure that person did not roll for very long. Somehow, I was unusually lucky every time I was up to roll and the table started cheering, "Red! Red! Red!" because of my little red dress. Edward kept on taking one of my big chips and putting it on the square with the six and five die pictures, which paid out 16:1 on my $25 chips each time.

"Yo Eleven!" the center Craps dealer called. "Yo!" The table cheered. Eleven was the best number, leading anyone with a pass or come bet to win their money back instantly, not just those betting on the 11 with the 16:1 payout.

_Yo Eleven_, Edward thought looking at me with a wicked grin each time and then following it with some graphic thoughts that looked more like Yo 69 and bumped me up a notch. Anyway, with his guidance on the back up bets and come bets, I ended up making just over $7,000! _Yo Eleven, indeed! No wonder the Cullens get the special treatment!_

We finished up the first night around 2 a.m. and Edward and I headed back to our villa. His mind was noticeably quiet.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. He was humming to himself in his head. I got the sense that he was blocking me. _Maybe I don't want to know._

Once inside, Edward took my hand and motioned to the patio. "Let's go sit outside by the pool for a little bit." He removed his sports jacket and left it on the table as we exited to the patio.

We walked over to a lounge chair where he sat down and then pulled me to sit with him between his legs, my back to his chest. He gently wrapped his arms around me.

His mind was still quietly humming to himself, but mine was racing as I processed through the conversation earlier this evening.

"Edward, I hadn't really thought about my vampire life, what that part of it might look like, until they started mentioning it. Do you think we'll still be able to hear each other?"

"The way we do now?" he asked. "For sure."

"Why did you qualify that?"

"We take whatever talents we had in the first life on to the next. Everything is just stronger or magnified. The bigger questions are will I be able to hear you more than I do now and will you be able to hear the rest of them?"

I stiffened. _Good Lord, the horror!_ After the sex discussion in the suite, I wasn't ready for that. "Oh, no, I can't imagine that… why would that happen?"

He slowly caressed my arms. "You only took a small amount of my blood, Bella, and look what happened. When you're turned, you're taking in a significantly larger amount. Frankly, I'm curious about this myself. Our family talents are pretty rare for vampires so there isn't much context for this overall. That's part of where Carlisle was going tonight… where they all were. Besides Carlisle and Jasper, none of them have ever turned a human before and not even they have done it through the sharing of blood."

"I can't imagine hearing anyone else but you, Edward. Maybe my crazy mind shield will be able to better block it out in the next life!"

He chuckled and squeezed me tighter to him. "Now, why would you want to block me out, Love?"

I turned my body a little so that I could look up at him. "When your mind is nice and peaceful like this, I wouldn't, but your mind hasn't been like this much lately." My eyes narrowed. "Where is the Edward I'm used to?"

He smirked and kissed my nose, and then his eyes shifted down to my feet. "Oh, hey, I noticed that something was wrong with the strap on your shoe when we were out tonight. Stand up and let me fix it for you."

I stood and Edward moved from the chair to kneel in front of me. He lifted my right ankle up, fiddling with the strap, so I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself. Then he released my ankle and looked up at me, his angel face glowing. I heard it and saw it at the same time: he had a box in his hands. Opening it, he looked up at me through his eyelashes. _Will you still marry me, Bella?_

_Oh, he has a ring!_ My energy level shot up to eight and my knees buckled as I tried to hold on to him. His reflexes were fast as he put one hand at the small of my back to catch me and then he managed to quickly lay me down on the lounge chair.

He laughed. "Glad that I can have this effect on you, Bella." He took the ring out of the box and put it on my left hand. It was a beautiful solitaire princess cut diamond in a platinum tension setting. It was so different! I didn't think I could have picked anything better for myself.

He moved to hover over me on his hands and knees, looking down at me. _Are you mine_?

I nodded. _Always._

He reached behind me to lower the lounge chair so that it was completely horizontal. He then slowly lowered himself down so that he was on top of me, kissed my lips gently and began kissing my neck. _Personally, I think the ring would look best on you without all the rest of these clothes_, he thought, as his hands moved under my dress up my thighs.

_Ah, he's baaacck._

* * *

**A/N: If he likes it then he'd better put a ring on it. Long chapter - blame Eveready Edward and the rest of those crazy Cullens. Thanks for reading so far. PLEASE leave a review.**


	4. Just When You Least Expect It

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 4: Just When You Least Expect It**

**BPOV**

The rest of the weekend was fun, Cullen-style. The bet was on and Edward was determined that we would not opt out. At my request, we divided the Las Vegas Strip into three segments as I really did not want to run into any of them in their quest to earn points. Edward and I took the segment from the MGM Grand to the Aladdin. Jasper and Alice got from the Paris to the Mirage and Emmett and Rosalie got from Treasure Island down to the Wynn, which was only a few weeks from officially opening. As we were staying at the Bellagio, it was fair game for all, and thankfully, Carlisle and Esme opted out of the 'fun.'

I was curious about one thing though.

"Edward, how will we know who is winning?"

"We'll tally the points daily," he responded.

"Yes, but hoping beyond hope that I'll NEVER actually catch any of them in the act and doubly hoping that they won't see us, how do we know about the others and whether anyone has earned any points?"

"You can't hide it from both me and Alice," he said. "We'll keep everyone honest." _Ew. Still think this is weird._

Every day when I awoke, Edward held up my swimsuit grinning. 'Blue bikini?' became his way of saying 'good morning.' When I rolled my eyes, he decided to find a different way to help me greet the day.

As it turns out, the family gift was a beautiful graduation card… with a $30,000 check in it. I was thankful that I was seated when opened the envelope. 'Something to get you started,' the note said. 'Love, your new family.'

"Edward, I can't take this!" I said, the check shaking in my hands.

He sat down next to me. "Bella, you're going to be part of the family. We have a lot of money and it is always good to have a solid foundation as you start work."

"But BCG is going to pay off my loans over a three-year period. I've got the foundation right there."

"You've been living on a student budget. You don't have to do that anymore." He smiled and kissed me softly. "Just accept it or you'll hurt their feelings." He moved my hair away from my right ear and started nuzzling my neck.

I sighed. I'd hurt their feelings by not accepting $30K! "Well, maybe I can use some of it for a new car."

"Um, Love, maybe you don't want to do that," he murmured as his lips grazed the soft spot behind my ear.

I pulled away and turned to look at him. He was humming to himself in his head again, blocking me. "Is there something you'd like to share with me, Mr. Cullen?"

He took the check out of my hand and put it down on the coffee table. "Why, yes, in fact there is," he said, grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder as he ghosted us to our bedroom.

_Yeah, that wasn't exactly what I meant, but okay..._

On Friday, Rosalie, Alice, Esme and I all had a girls' spa morning. We arrived early and spent some time in the women's steam room before our treatments. I learned very quickly that these three women had no body image issues as they walked around buck naked. I, on the other hand, introduced them to my friend the towel.

Alice giggled. "Bella, all of that modesty will go away once you're one of us. You don't sweat the small stuff."

"That's easy for you to say. Look at the three of you and your bodies! Please tell me that you all wear clothes around each other when I'm not in Denali. Otherwise, I don't think we'll be living with you all in the future!"

They all laughed. "Despite the conversation that I know happened in Alice's suite last night before we arrived, even we don't want to see each other's spouses in that way, Bella," Esme said. "We do maintain modesty when the men are around. Besides, your body is perfect, Bella. Ask Edward," she said, winking at me. _Okay, this doesn't seem like normal future mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conversation to me._

It was a really relaxing morning. I was washed, waxed, scrubbed, sea salted, wrapped, baked, massaged and polished for three hours. I was a puddle when I finished and managed to get back to the villa and crash for an hour or two, skipping lunch. Thankfully, Edward let me sleep.

Later that afternoon, Alice decided that the whole family should hang together by the public pool for a little while. Watching the Cullen family walk into the Bellagio pool area was quite something to see. It practically played out the way you'd see it in a movie… you know, when the dreamy guy or girl enters the room and everything becomes hazy and they're moving in slow motion to some rock music? Except that now they were walking in pairs, sans rock music, as the rest of the guests all gawked.

Rose and Emmett came down the stairs first. Rosalie's blond hair and supermodel body looked fabulous in what was essentially red dental floss with three band-aids covering the key parts, while Emmett's dark hair and big muscular body contrasted, yet complemented, her stunning image.

Alice and Jasper followed them. Alice looked adorable in a little hot pink skirted hipster bikini, her spiky hairstyle helping foster the image of a wild child. Meanwhile, she hung off of Jasper's tall graceful form, their bodies and contrasting hair colors - dark and light - also so different and yet both so perfect alone and together.

Esme and Carlisle came in next. Esme wore an animal print bikini, the print on the fabric playing nicely off of her caramel hair color. And Carlisle looked like the sun god with his pale blond hair and blue swim trucks as he walked at Esme's side, his arm around her waist.

Edward glided in after them, looking truly god-like in his forest green swim trunks and bronze hair tossed every which way. And then there was little old me, trolling up next to him, a t-shirt covering up the blue bikini. I was amazed I was even brave enough to be out here with them and I had no intention of taking off the shirt. Edward had other plans, however, as he decided that he needed to make sure I had plenty of sunscreen on - even though we were all seated under umbrellas - and he pulled off my shirt to apply it.

Through Edward, I got to hear a little of the lusty thoughts the guests were thinking about the Cullen family, including me. Then he blocked it out for me and I was really happy that I only heard one person, despite the new rhyme running through his head as he ogled me and my bathing suit. _I will yank the little string, you will enjoy everything._

I reached for his hands and I pointed around to the guests. Then I leaned toward him and whispered in his ear, "String pulling is reserved for private spaces, thank you very much." His response was a low lusty growl.

Jasper's head turned our way and I could hear him snapping at Edward. _Listen, horn-dog, I'm trying to enjoy myself here. It's bad enough I have to deal with all of the lusty emotions coming our way from the guests, I don't want to have to worry about you two!_

And then, suddenly, I became quite put out by some of the thoughts directed at Edward. Holy crow, it seemed like every woman at the pool was thinking ungodly things about him! Despite the fact that Edward's attention was clearly focused on my breasts right now, I felt horribly jealous! I had never felt jealous about him because he never gave me reason to, and yet my blood was boiling! Edward saw it immediately as I shot up two notches, He leapt up, handed me my t-shirt, picked up my bag, grabbed my hand and walked me very fast out of the pool gardens. We hadn't been out there for more than 20 minutes.

I thought for sure that he was going to try to jump me in a hallway and get a point going on the family bet, but thankfully he made it to the alcove in front of our villa and we got a point for that anyway. Afterward, we learned that Jasper had riled me up just to get some peace from Edward's lusty state. Boy, was Emmett was pissed that Jasper helped us earn a point!

Alice took me shopping for some work clothes but honestly, I never thought in my life I'd own suits by Armani and Carolina Herrera. Mercifully, I was able to keep us away from La Perla. I was already covered just fine in the underwear department, thanks to Alice and her constant care packages.

O was just beautiful. It was my second time seeing the show and this time our seats were even better. Most Cirque du Soleil shows are odd and confusing with some weird theme running through them. This one started and ended with a little red handkerchief and a huge red curtain. It was just breathtaking, with acrobats doing tricks above, on and under the water and the music... Oh the music! The music just swirled around with some vocal parts that sounded tribal in the background and others that were augmented by the deep slow moan of a cello.

My favorite act was the pirate ship trapeze act, naturally. The Cirque performers always make everything look so simple but I had to explain to the Cullens that all of the timing on the some of the swings was backward. A trapeze is essentially a pendulum and you work with the swing of the pendulum to help propel you. In this act, at least one of the people doing the throwing was releasing their partner against the swing of the ship, which was so difficult. And water essentially functioned as the net for most of the tricks. It was a brilliant show... and a wonderful evening, until I swear I caught sight of Alice and Jasper in the Bellagio flower conservatory exhibit in one of the trees. Yep, point for them.

Zumanity, on the other hand… yeesh! It wasn't Cirque as much as sexy dancing if you ask me. Mercifully, someone thought ahead about our seating to request that the duo sofas on which we sat were in four completely different sections of the theater. It was a sensual and lusty show and there was one act with all of the cast members that I swear was like a big orgy on stage. Between the show and Edward's thoughts, I actually found that I needed to control myself – and we gained another point when Edward figured out a place, hidden among the statues on top of the Monte Carlo entrance, with me clinging onto him for dear life. Scary as hell and yet, wow. Unfortunately, I heard some really loud and familiar noises in the bushes among the villa grounds as we returned home. No need to verify that one: Rose and Em earned a point.

Unlike Paris, they let me wander on my own for my alone time. I was thankful. So on Saturday morning, I walked with my iPod to get my Starbucks fix. In the early mornings, the Strip was fairly empty, but for folks like me out for a morning jog or walk, some drunk groups of guys wandering back to their hotels and a few hookers in tiny outfits and big heels looking for johns. Walking up toward the North side of the Strip, I grabbed a drink at the Starbucks by Imperial Palace and then decided that I would avoid this side of the Strip and stop looking anywhere else other than the ground from now on when I saw Rosalie and Emmett in the Treasure Island pirate ship and Alice and Jasper on the Eiffel Tower at The Paris casino.

On Sunday, our last full day there, I awoke bright and early and made my way to the Strip. As I was wandering down to the Starbucks at MGM, I passed McDonalds. The smell of Egg McMuffins wafted out after a couple of patrons exited the building and suddenly I was nauseated. My stomach lurched and I barely made it to a local trash can, spilling up last night's dinner. _Aw crap, food poisoning._ A trio of guys wandering by at that moment, laughing at me and one commented, "Jesus, lady, drink much?" Sweating profusely, I turned around and made my way back to the villa.

Walking into the villa, I smelled the remnants of the aromas from the meal we had cooked the night before and I felt my stomach lurch again. Covering my mouth, I made it to the closest bathroom – thank goodness there were five of them in this huge-ass place – knelt by the toilet and got sick again. Edward was there by my side instantly.

"Bella, are you okay?" He knelt by me, his cool hands pushing my hair from my sweaty forehead.

"Nah, something from last night's dinner isn't agreeing with me," I said. I sat down, leaning against the closest wall. I smiled weakly at him. "We're going to lose this bet."

He frowned. "That should be the least of your concerns right now. I'm sorry you're feeling bad, Love. Should I get some ginger ale or Sprite for you? Would that help?"

I was thinking about it when we heard a knock at the door. Edward stood and went to answer it. My energy level wasn't quite in a completely happy place for me, but being back home and having him near me was comforting and I was hovering between a two and three, so I could hear him, although it was a little spotty.

"Hi Alice," he said.

She stepped in quickly and appeared at the bathroom door.

"Hey Alice," I said looking up at her from my lovely seat on the floor. "What's up?"

"Um, I was just in our room and suddenly you started fading in and out of my visions." She looked at Edward. "And so did you. It looked like you were in Paris, Edward."

He looked confused. "Maybe you were remembering the trip?"

She shook her head. "No, Jasper and Emmett were with you and Jazz was wearing a new shirt that I just bought him last week." She looked back at me and sniffed. "Hmmm, you smell odd, Bella."

I groaned. "Aw man, again with my smelling weird? Well, I just got sick twice. Maybe you smell my stomach flu?"

Alice's head was processing quickly and suddenly her face changed. "Oh my…" she said. Edward picked up on her thoughts and gasped. And then I heard him repeating the question in his head, although it cut in and out… like a bad cell connection.

_Edward , when did - - - period?_ came Alice's question.

_Period? Oh._ My body went cold. _Oh shit. _

_So much for his vampire birth control._

~#~

Carlisle came over immediately when Edward called him. As he stepped into the bathroom, I asked. "Is this what you guys were all smelling with me? That I was pregnant?"

Carlisle looked confused. "Actually, I don't know. Your scent is modified and I'm now detecting the change in your hormones… but the smell is a little off. You don't smell like the typical pregnant woman. It is pretty new, from what I can tell without running some tests. You may be only two or three weeks along." He asked gently, "You're not on the pill?"

I shook my head. "I tried it a few years ago and it really messed up my hormones. I didn't like it and I didn't feel like myself, and since I wasn't with anyone…" I grimaced sheepishly. "Edward always could tell before. He was my pill." I looked at Edward. "What happened? I thought you knew when I was ovulating."

He ran his fingers through his hair, obviously very upset with himself. "Your cycle and energy all changed after taking in my blood and I didn't notice the modification to your scent. Carlisle might have been right the other night: the magnetic pull I've been feeling since you've been able to hear me may in part be due to your blood and my blood calling to me… and it masked everything else. I'm clearly not quite myself. I'm sorry, love."

"Maybe this is why you weren't biting me… and why I've been napping so much." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "Edward, don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you. It's just not great timing obviously. We're… we're not even married!" I said, bursting into tears. _Jeez, here go the hormones._

He sat on the floor with me and pulled me onto his lap. "But we're going to be, sweetness."

At this point, the rest of the family had made it over to our place. Emmett's booming voice filled up the house. "So Bella's knocked up, huh?" he asked as he walked in. "Maybe this explains all the crazy activity between you guys," he said laughing. Then his face changed as he saw us there on the floor.

Knocked up. Me. Where was the responsible, logical girl I was a year and a half ago? I felt stupid. I was 26 years old and should have been in control of my own body, not relying on my boyfriend for that.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I cried, holding on to his shirt.

Rosalie moved from the bathroom doorway to kneel down in front of me. "Bella, why are you apologizing?"

Emmett piped up. "Yeah, Edward, are you two having one of your silent conversations? Are you making her feel guilty for this?"

Edward growled and shot Emmett an angry look. "I'd never do that! Anyway, we can't hear each other right now. Her energy is too low." He continued to rock me as I cried. "Carlisle," he asked, "What kind of baby could this be? Is there any chance it could be fully human?"

Carlisle shook his head." I don't know. I guess it is possible although doubtful since our blood takes over when intermingled with a human's blood. Apparently there are half vampires out there from your encounter in Paris but I don't know anything about them or what the impact is on the mother."

With my energy as low as it was, I was painfully aware of the absence of Edward's and his family's thoughts. All by my lonesome, I started to face the larger question: not what was I having but did I want to have it? I was scared of pregnancy… actually, deathly afraid of it. It was an irrational fear, I know, but it was there. All I knew was that the delivery was painful. Very painful. And your hormones went crazy. And you passed gas uncontrollably. And random strangers touched you. Plus, I didn't have a maternal cell in my body yet. I really didn't feel ready for a kid. As a late bloomer, I had once thought that I'd probably have a child when I was in my 30s if I were ever married, but since I was going to be turned before then, I had it figured that it wasn't meant to be. Now…

Edward's next statement brought me back to the conversation. "My primary concern is for Bella's well being," he said. "I think I need to find out what happens to the mothers in cases like these, to the extent that there are examples… before this gets too far." He looked over at Alice who was sitting on one of the counters. "I guess we know where I'm going."

He stood up carrying me out of the bathroom and into the living room. The rest of the family followed, and I could now feel Jasper's influence trying to calm me. Sitting me down on one of the comfortable chairs, Edward knelt in front of me and touched my face. "Bella, I need to go to Paris and talk to the half-breed, Laurent. He's the only one that we know about and he could help us."

Carlisle agreed. "As much as I'd like to go to help understand the medical and physical issues with this Laurent, I think that I should go back to Chicago with Bella. Until we know more, it probably isn't a good idea for her to see a human doctor."

Rosalie nodded. "I'll go with you to Chicago." Esme and Alice nodded as well. "I'm going to be blind anyway, whether I'm with Edward or Bella. I'd rather spend time helping Bella." Alice said softly.

Emmett put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Jasper and I will come with you to make sure you have reinforcements in case anything gets out of hand."

Edward's face was appreciative. He looked back at me and smiled gently. "Looks like we need to get you moved into the house sooner rather than later. Esme, when you're back in Chicago, we'll need your help breaking Bella's lease and getting her moved in this week."

"Of course," she said. "Let me get started on getting the trip arranged for everyone. Emmett or Jasper, one of you will need to go back to Denali to get the passports. I don't think Mr. Jenks can get us all new documents by tomorrow."

Jasper raised his hand. "I'll go. Can we get me out on a flight today? This way I can head back to Chicago tomorrow and Edward, Em and I can leave from there on Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest."

"I'll check," she said as she started dialing on her cell phone.

Rosalie came over to me and held my hand. "Bella, how are you feeling?"

"Queasy and hungry at the same time. I hear that this morning sickness thing lasts all day; let me tell you, this is going to suck."

"What can I get you, Love?" Edward asked, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "Toast? Plain rice? Chicken broth?" He stood up and made his way to the phone that would buzz the butler.

None of it sounded good. I mentally processed through all foods that I could think of. The only thing sounding remotely appetizing was the steak tartar from the other night. _Raw meat… are you kidding? Talk about weird cravings._

"A rare cheeseburger? With Jalapenos?"

Edward picked up the phone to buzz the butler and paused, his brow furrowed. "Rare, Love?" And then his expression registered surprise. "Oh," he said, looking at Carlisle.

I saw the look that Carlisle was giving Edward. "What did I miss?" I asked.

Edward ghosted back to me and knelt down again. "Your rare/raw meat craving from the other night and now… It might not be the meat at all."

I let that sink in and my stomach started to growl. _Oh wow. They're right..._

I wanted blood.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, baby... **

**Thanks for reading so far. Please review.**


	5. EC and the Tale of the Half Vampire

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 5: Edward Cullen and the Tale of the Half-Vampire**

**EPOV**

We left on Monday morning to return to Chicago. On the flight home, Bella was lost in her own head and unfortunately had to get up on occasion to throw-up. I held her hand as she just sat there – not listening to her iPod or doing puzzles in her GAMES magazine or reading. She just stared outward, her eyes shifting around: her thinking look. I was desperate to hear her and talk to her, but something told me that she didn't want to have this conversation around my family, who were also on the plane.

Once home, Carlisle quickly got the materials needed to do the blood tests on Bella. Bella looked panicked but said nothing throughout the exam. Then Carlisle left to go to my lab to run some tests on the blood.

She did surprisingly well with her blood cravings. When she was hungry and felt that she could keep something down, she drank a very small cordial of blood in addition to whatever food she felt like, but then was completely self-conscious and turned pink as my family stared at her in amazement.

That night she asked to stay at her apartment with me, for some privacy from my family. When we got there, her eyes were big and scared. "Edward, Carlisle isn't going to have to do any other types of exams on me, is he? I mean, you're a doctor too, no? Is there any chance that you had OB/GYN training and could control yourself 'down there' while doing an exam when or if I need one?"

My heart melted. I'm not sure if I remembered seeing her this afraid before… not with James nor Victoria. Vulcan Bella was actually extremely vulnerable Bella below that tough exterior. My poor sweet girl.

"Bella, love, when I return, I'll make sure that I take care of you." I held her tightly in my arms, her head resting on my chest as we lay in her bed. Her heart was beating a little faster than normal as she held on to my shirt, the cloth clenched in her fists.

"Sweetness, are you nervous?"

She nodded, not looking at me.

"Why?" I asked, putting my fingers under her chin to raise her face toward mine. She looked at me but remained silent.

"Bella, please, talk to me. I can't hear you right now."

She took a deep breath. "How do you feel about this, Edward? Do you want a baby?"

Did I want a baby? The truth was I'd never thought about it. I was only 17 when I left my human life behind. At the time, the war was all I thought about. I had no girl to come home to or dream of. I'd never been in a serious relationship until Bella, and I never thought I would be. And who would have thought it possible even if I had? Vampires didn't have babies.

I looked into her eyes. I didn't know what answer she wanted to hear.

"I want to hear the truth," she said.

"What?"

"It sounded like you weren't necessarily going tell me that..."

I was surprised. Her energy level was at about a two. "Did you hear me Bella?"

"Yes."

"Really? But how..."

"I don't know how… but I did. So what is the truth?"

"Okay…" I took her hand in mine and kissed it. Then I looked at it as I spoke. "The truth is that I want you. You are my heart and soul Bella and I'm scared to lose you. I want to keep you safe. I don't want this… whatever it is… to harm you. If I can be assured that you'll be okay, then I welcome having a little us. If not, well…" I looked back at her. "And you?"

Her eyes were sad. "Is it wrong for me to say that I don't know?" she asked guiltily. "I'm scared of the whole thing. And, more importantly, I just found you Edward and I feel that I haven't had enough time with YOU yet. I'd always imagined that I'd have a few years with my husband, getting to grow with him before a baby came along. My parents were mommy-daddy- baby instantly and look where they ended up. I didn't want to do it that way, and over the past several months, I realized that I was okay with never having children. If that was the way it was to be in order for me to end up with you, so be it."

She gently removed her hand from mine and touched my cheek. "But I love you Edward and I want to give you what you want, and if you want this… well I'd do it for you even if I wasn't sure."

"My love, you've already given me what I want. You," I said, kissing her softly.

"I'm yours," she said smiling, "Always."

Sometimes, those words alone were all I needed to get me going. She was mine.

"You're mine alright," I said, as I pulled her on top of me and began to unbutton her pajama top…

_Mine._

~#~

Two days later, we were in Paris. As Jasper, Emmett and I sat in the taxi on the way to our apartment in the 6th arrondissement, I was lost in thought remembering my conversation with Carlisle before we left.

"_I'm confused by her blood test, Edward," he said._

"_She isn't pregnant?"_

"_Her hCG levels indicate that she is. But it is her blood cells that are puzzling. Her blood is still human, but your blood has mixed with hers, and I can actually see some instances where some of your cells have mapped themselves onto hers." He shook his head. "I've never seen anything like this and I don't know if it is your blood or her blood that is driving this. I wish I had a sample of her blood before she drank yours so that I could test it. Yours alone won't tell me."_

"_What does this mean for her... and for the fetus?"_

"_I have to do research, but it is possible that each of your blood cells might 'fight' each other in the womb… and it could be dangerous for Bella. Of course, I'm flying blind here… I'll see what I can find in my studies."_

_I lowered my voice to ensure Bella could not hear us. "Carlisle, under no circumstances do I want Bella's life to be in danger. Do you understand? Please do everything to eliminate the risk if that happens while we're gone."_

_Carlisle nodded, "Okay, son."_

We dropped our bags off at the apartment and made our way over toward Rue de Seine on the other side of Blvd St-Germain and monitored Victoria's antique shop. As it was Wednesday, it was not scheduled to open until 2 p.m., so we waited to see Laurent.

Around 1:45 p.m., he made his way down the street toward the shop. At first we weren't sure this was the same man; he had the same olive-toned skin and French features, but he looked at least five years older than the man we'd met only four months before. Despite his obvious aging, his eyes were still sharp and he easily spotted the three of us in our separate locations. I walked over to him quickly.

"You!" he spat. "What do you want?"

"I would like to speak with you."

"I do not want to speak with you," he said. "Victoria will be here soon and she was very displeased with me for bringing your bitch into her shop and all the trouble she caused."

I took a step forward, snarling, "Don't you dare speak of her that way!"

He looked around. "Where is your little snack anyway? Did you get carried away and finish off the little troublemaker?"

I started to lunge for him but Emmett and Jasper were on me instantly, holding me back. Jasper sent calming waves all around.

"Thank you Jasper," I whispered. As I was feeling calmer, I spoke again. "Laurent, I am asking you nicely. I would like to speak to you. I would be happy to offer something in return if that is what you require." I hoped that this offer would trigger him to let go and reveal himself. Then I heard him.

_What could he possibly offer? Could he free me? Free me from her?_

"We may be able to help you be free of her, if that is your wish," I responded.

His body froze and his eyes widened upon the realization that I'd heard his thoughts. "I do not know what you are talking about. I do not wish to be free," he said nervously. _Please, yes I do. Can you really help?_

I nodded. I looked at Jasper and Emmett. "He won't cooperate. Let's go back to the Hotel La Perle. Tomorrow I'll do my normal 6 a.m. run and then we will leave as planned in three days."

"You are staying at La Perle," Laurent commented. "That is too bad. Hotel Opal in the 8th is much nicer."

"Thank you for the recommendation. Perhaps on our next trip. Bonjour Monsieur. We won't trouble you or your mistress again." Jasper and Emmett nodded and we left.

The next morning, we waited on Rue Tronchet for Laurent to show. We had offered a hotel as a meeting place in case he was followed; we didn't want Victoria or her guards near our apartment. At 6 a.m., he appeared on the street and made his way toward us.

"Are you really able to help me?" he asked.

"If we can. I came to speak to you about your history, and then perhaps you can tell us why you need help leaving."

Emmett was agitated. "Wait, Edward." He stepped closer to Laurent. "Why here? We'd better not be walking into a trap."

Jasper shook his head. "He's nervous Em, but…"

I finished for him. "But not because he's trying to dupe us. He really wants to be free."

"Monsieur," Laurent said, looking at Emmett, "I came to you for help. Clearly he can read my mind. He knows I'm telling the truth." He looked at all of us. "This hotel is one of the newer ones and not under Victoria's clan control. It is non-vampire owned and run. Victoria lives in the 14th, beyond Montparnasse. It is far enough away for now."

"We have a room," I said. "Come upstairs."

We went to the second floor and entered our room.

"Why are you here, uh..." he began, realizing that he didn't know my name.

"Edward."

"Edward. Why did you come all of this way to speak with me?"

"My fiancée," I began, "is pregnant."

His eyes widened. _Fiancée? _

I nodded. "Yes, fiancée, and we do not know what it means for her. We haven't encountered this before. Yes, we know the stories of the incubi who ravage human women, but we've never heard of any offspring or the mothers surviving. You are the only half-vampire any of my family has met, so we wish to understand how you came to be."

He looked at each of our faces, lingering on mine. Then he turned to face the window and look out, his hands behind his back. "How far along is she?"

"We believe a few weeks."

"And she isn't showing?"

I was puzzled. "Why would she be?"

He took a breath. I inhaled sharply hearing his next thought before he spoke it. "Your mate will die." He turned back to look to me. "If you love her, you should abort that fetus. You'll be doing it a favor," he said sadly. "No one should live like this – stuck between two worlds."

"Please tell us," I whispered.

~#~

"I am Laurent Robespierre Maubius. My last name has no importance as it is the name of my mother, a 16-year old chambermaid for a powerful family: the Robespierre family. Yes, Maximilien Robespierre. He was one of the most influential figures during our Revolution in the late 1700s and he was a hypocrite. Respected by the masses, he was a rapist who took my mother and impregnated her. And he was a vampire. History has never told the true story of the bloodlust that drove the Revolution. Many of the key figures were vampires. What better world to create for themselves? Blood on the streets working them into a frenzy and causing more blood to be spilled."

"I was born in 1770. I participated in and lived through the Reign of Terror. My mother did not live long enough to see me. Her sister, who took care of her through her pregnancy, gave me his name in the hopes that his notoriety would protect me in the future and she raised me after I was born. When she died, trampled by the crowd as they stormed La Bastille, I lived on the streets until 'adopted' by Victoria's clan." Maximilien's family did nothing for me."

"There are two types of halflings – half vampires – and they always kill their mothers, no matter whether they are venomous or harmless, like me. Venomous and harmless halflings are almost complete opposites."

"Venomous halfling babies have accelerated births. They are born within about four weeks of being conceived. They use their sharp teeth to bite their way out. The human mothers don't survive because they bleed out and/or are bitten on the way out and their bodies are too weak to withstand the baby venom."

"Harmless halfling babies have accelerated births as well, but it is more like three-to-four months after conception. As a harmless halfling, we are naturally weaker and we must rely on others to survive, and that includes in the womb. We suck the mother dry from the inside. IF the mother lasts through delivery – and most do not, which is why you do not see many harmless half vampires – she dies anyway due to dehydration and blood loss. Even modern medicine is unable to help her. It looks like a rare form of anemia. Not one mother has ever survived."

"The venomous halflings stop being venomous within minutes of being born; their venomous state goes into dormancy. They look like normal humans and they eat human food as they grow, but they are physically stronger and faster than humans and they grow at an accelerated rate. Within seven years they are physically 18 years old, and at that state of physical adulthood, the venom reactivates and turns them into a vampire almost overnight. As you know, this is an extremely painful process when you are bitten by a vampire. Imagine it consuming your body over one day, instead of three… all from the inside, going everywhere at once. Some do not survive the process."

"Harmless babies, unfortunately, crave blood from childbirth, but we do not have the sharp teeth of the venomous vampires and we never grow fangs, even when old, so we cannot bite and hunt. We are not fast and strong. We must align with a vampire family/clan to take care of us and let us feed on whatever the other vampires eat. We cannot drink blood from the cold dead bodies that we find on the streets or the animal blood that comes with food from the butcher shop: dead blood ages us. Therefore, we must feed on blood that was taken from a live human... and that includes blood bank blood. We age more slowly than the venomous, but it is still at an accelerated rate: after 12 years, we reach a physical age 18, and past that point, we continue to age slowly, although it will accelerate if we have not found a family to care for us, or if we do not feed regularly enough."

"I was lucky to have been born when I was. The bloodshed during the Revolution fed me. I had a front-row seat to watching innocent and guilty French citizens lose their heads… and I drank the warm blood as it flowed freely from their bodies. However, I did not drink my father's blood when they beheaded him 24 years after my birth. Little did the human revolutionaries know that they found the perfect way to kill him. They took his head and corpse and buried it. I went later, dug him up, spit on him and then burned his body."

"I think that my history should provide many of the answers you seek. The reason why you have never seen a halfling is because the venomous ones look like normal children and then become full vampires when they reach adulthood, and the harmless, useless ones like me don't usually survive the birth, and those who do become indentured slaves. I am positive that your coven does not associate in these circles."

"And finally, your mate – if she is not showing yet – is expecting a harmless halfling like me, and she will not survive."

~#~

We were silent for several minutes after Laurent finished his story. I knew what we'd have to do when we got home to Chicago to save Bella. This information was invaluable.

"How can we help you?" I asked.

"I am essentially a slave for blood. I have been serving Victoria for over 200 years. When she is displeased, I am deprived of my food and it causes me to age. I should be physically about 27 right now. As you can see, I look over 50. I was six years younger when you saw me not four months ago! She is not a kind mistress."

He looked at all of us. "I need money to leave and the means to hide. I would happily serve another clan! I would serve you!"

Emmett spoke. "We are a family, not a coven, not a clan. We don't have, need or want servants."

Jasper calmed him. "You shouldn't be a servant anyway!"

"What choice do I have?" Laurent muttered.

"You can't get access to blood through the Parisian blood banks?" Emmett asked.

Laurent shook his head. "Victoria's clan controls that."

"So you must leave Europe." I thought quickly. "I'd suggest relocating to Canada. We can get you hooked up with the Canadian Blood Bank network and your French language skills will be an asset, whether you are in Quebec or not. You'll need to be somewhere a little less populated. My suggestion would be Calgary rather than Vancouver, Edmonton or Toronto. I think you can hide out more easily there. We can help you establish a new identity."

"Wait a sec," Emmett said. "What are you doing, Edward? Why are you throwing this house elf a sock? He almost got Bella killed!"

"And now, he's just saved her life," I said.

We worked fast. Jasper took a photo of Laurent, uploaded it into my computer and sent it to J. Jenks' encrypted account along with a wire transfer. Within two days Jenks had overnighted a Canadian birth certificate and passport – already marked with the appropriate stamps indicating point of origin into France – for Mr. Larry Dobby, new name courtesy of my Harry Potter-loving brother Emmett.

Emmett went out and shopped for clothes so that Laurent would be able to disappear at the designated time and leave everything behind. I contacted my lab to work the connections needed to get Larry a job at the main branch of the Calgary Blood Bank network. In the meantime, Laurent went about his business, reporting to Victoria, fishing for victims and running her errands.

And on the third day, Laurent Robespierre Maubius ceased to exist. He did not show up at the shop. Wanting to avoid leaving from either Charles de Gaulle or Heathrow, Larry Dobby hopped a train to Barcelona to begin his long journey to Canada. We saw him off early that morning.

"Edward, if this should work, I will be eternally grateful. I am grateful for the hope you have given me. I am indebted to you… to you all."

He lowered his voice and stepped in closer. "If Victoria should ever find out that you helped me, it will be trouble for you. I promise never to breathe a word. If they should catch me, well, let them end it for me. I do not want to live knowing that a new life was in my grasp and I missed it."

I nodded. "And we thank you as well. Au revoir, Larry. May your journey be successful. We will see each other again, I am sure of it."

~#~

We landed in Chicago on Sunday late afternoon. As soon as I turned it on, my phone rang. Esme.

"Hello, Esme." I said.

"Edward? You've landed. Good." Her voice sounded a little nervous and I started feeling anxious.

"Is everything okay?"

"Hurry home. Bella…"

I tensed up immediately. "What is wrong? Is Bella safe?"

"She… she miscarried, Edward." she said sadly. "She's fine otherwise… but she lost the baby."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew it was horribly wrong to feel as I did when I heard the news, but I couldn't help it. I allowed myself to speak to God for the second time in 85 years and I hoped that he was listening.

_Dear God, thank you for saving her._

* * *

**A/N: Um, I'm sorry. I know that many of you were excited about a baby. But it is not their time just yet. I said there would be ups and downs in this story. Get ready.**

**Thanks for reading so far. I hope that you come back to read the rest. Please leave feedback… it helps! (but try not to curse me out too much…)**

_Post A/N: A big epharisto to my FF bud MrsEdwardCullenP for her ideas on the Laurent/halfling backstory._


	6. The Two Edwards

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 6: The Two Edwards**

**EPOV**

After Bella took my blood and was able to hear me, she told me about the two Edwards. Oh, they were both me alright.

There was the one who couldn't believe that he had lucked upon such a wonderful being after all of those lonely years on this earth. She was a good and kind person who never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. She was fiercely loyal and devoted to her three closest girlfriends and her parents, checking in with them all weekly. She was sweet and funny. She was smart. She was beautiful. The Edward who loved Bella for all of these traits first wanted to keep her safe so that she'd be with him forever.

The other Edward was the horny 17-year old who lusted after and couldn't get enough of his fiancé. He wanted to please her, to feel her warmth on his cool body. He wanted to possess her, to take her and claim her as his. To touch her, taste her and make her moan. That Edward wanted her forever as well, but he was imagining having a playmate for eternity.

And therein lay the problem. Because while both Edwards played well with Bella, they didn't always play well together.

Caring Edward cherished her, was desperate to give her anything she wanted, and knew that he needed to let her get her rest. Horny Edward wanted to give her something as well, but it generally centered around sex in some way; he wanted her to come out and play… all of the time. And Horny Edward dominated most of the time, ever since she took our blood.

Not surprisingly, both Edwards liked to take her blood… we were both vampires, after all, but we had different perspectives even on this matter. Caring Edward liked to hold her in his arms, to caress her cheek, to hug her small body close to his and kiss her tenderly on the neck before taking a taste. He liked to see her face, to look her in the eyes before and after the bite.

Horny Edward liked to bite her in an entirely different spot… the spot where he most loved to be. Yeah, he enjoyed getting hand and blowjobs, and of course he really liked getting laid. But Horny Edward loved going down on her, lavishing attention on that warm, wet sweet spot. His lustful nature was completely propelled by the scent of her arousal emanating from that area, enhanced by the taste of the blood from the vein in her thigh just below this sweet spot. This Edward liked to look in her eyes as well during and after the bite... it's just that her eyes were a bit farther away.

And because the two Edwards were so focused on different aspects of loving Bella, we somehow missed out on the impact of the changes in her and the effect they were having on the one whole Edward. So, as a result, both of these Edwards together nearly killed her.

In retrospect, the problem appears to have started as soon as we discovered that she could hear me. After I gave her my blood. Her hormonal changes surrounding the pregnancy didn't help, and it was even worse after she moved in with me. I was wrong about my house – now our house – meeting the invitation criteria. And I was sadly mistaken about her energy, her control and its effect on me.

Hindsight is 20-20.... and at the time, I was completely blind.

~#~

By all outside appearances, Bella did remarkably well after the miscarriage. Obviously, she took it like the Vulcan that she was, showing little emotion outside of her hormonal imbalances. At night, however, she was more agitated than usual and so I probed her mind to see how she was truly doing.

Bella was torn with the loss. She had been very nervous about the idea of being pregnant and being a mother. She wasn't enjoying being sick; the blood helped her with her cravings, but she felt a little 'off' an hour or two later, although she couldn't quite pinpoint how. She wasn't relishing the hormonal shifts that had already started. She dreaded the way her body was going to change and was already changing. And she really was not looking forward to having strangers touch her belly and was worried that anyone who tried might very well draw back a bloody stump.

On the other hand, she loved the idea that it was my child… and was extremely regretful that she would not be able to see a little mixture of us both in the baby. She blamed the miscarriage on the fact that she was so torn about the pregnancy. She thought that it wouldn't have happened if she had been 100% behind it from the get-go. In fact, she was completely convinced that she had made her body abort the baby.

I tried to console her in her sleep and told her the same while she was awake… that nothing was her fault. And I did my best to convince her that all things being equal, based on what we learned from Laurent, I wanted her forever and would take that over her having my child and losing her any day.

Our inner dialogue stopped as her energy level evened out, occasionally rising to two. I encouraged her to go back to Karate to make herself feel better. She decided to attend classes, but did not want to go back to weapons training sessions due to her memories of James.

Within a few weeks she started to be able to hear me again. I tried to keep my thoughts relatively tame, allowing her to set the pace until she felt completely normal again.

In the meantime, it was such bliss having her around all of the time. Now that we were sharing the house together, it felt like we were married already. Her clothes hung in my closets. Her family pictures mingled with mine. Someone actually used the kitchen on a regular basis. We cleared out shelf space so that she could continue building up her movie collection. She got rid of almost everything except her sofa, which we moved into the study until the back room renovations were completed.

While our connection was down, I was even more aware of my longing for her. At night I'd listen to her heart beat as it tapped out a rhythm in my head, keeping pace with one singular repeating thought; _Mine, Mine, Mine._ I think that once she was in the house, my subconscious began thinking of her as a possession. After losing the baby, Bella's hormones were fluctuating wildly as her body adapted to her pre-baby state. But as her hormones adjusted, it magnified the call to her.

Of course, she had noticed this before I did, pointing out that I'd often claimed her in my thoughts… long before I figured out that my blood in her system, my scent mingling with hers, did call to me. Even my family noticed the change in her scent before I did. She now smelled even better than before. I had always wanted her, but now I was being sucked in. She was a true vampire magnet and I was the one who was being drawn to her. Her blood, my blood, our blood together was calling to me… telling me that it wanted to be with me.

That last evening started out quite happily... and it may be that was the reason for what happened. Bella had been making use of her vacation time by taking advantage of Chicago's fantastic theater offerings. She found a show that one of her B'school classmates had told her about called "Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind"... yes, that was the name of the show. It was supposed to be hilarious; the cast members performed a series of 30 plays in 60 minutes. These plays were mini-skits and the audience randomly shouted out numbers for the cast to perform the next skit… so the cast was never able to just memorize the plays in an exact order. Moreover, the cast wrote a new set of skits for the next weekend's performances based on the roll of the die, so between 2-12 new skits were written and rehearsed for each week's shows, and if the cast managed to get through all 30 plays in the allotted 60 minutes, they bought pizza for the entire audience.

We went to the Sunday 7 p.m. show and it was as funny as her classmate had described. I don't know if I'd seen Bella laugh as much as she did during this show. She held my hand and kept squeezing it excitedly, looking over at me in amazement when they ran through a particularly funny skit and moved on to the next one. My little Vulcan friend had disappeared for the night and it was a joy to see. Caring Edward was thrilled to see her finally healing again.

Her happiness was almost as intoxicating as her anger. In truth, I wasn't sure that I'd ever seen her in this state. Happiness for humans manifested itself in so many different ways and for Bella this was even truer. Our first night together in the cabin was amazing and she was very content as I held her in my arms. When she found out that I wanted her forever, she was glowing. When she discovered that she could hear me, she enjoyed herself by being naughty and teasing me. Every time I made her climax and/or bit her, she obviously was in a physical state of euphoria. But after the show, I saw something else. It was as if a veil had been lifted from her normally serious demeanor and a giggly childlike playfulness and sense of fun came out. She was allowing herself to let go.

So, naturally, Horny Edward came out to play. I began by fondling her in the car, one hand on the steering wheel and the other down her pants, giddily watching her get off as we made our way back home. And I guess it had an effect on her because I had barely parked the car in our driveway when she surprised me by leaning over, unbuckling my belt, unzipping my pants and wrapping her mouth around my very hard erection. All I could think in that first instance was that if this is what she got like when she was relaxed and laughing and happy, I was going to try to talk her out of going to work at all and I was definitely going to get tickets to The Second City show for every night for the rest of our lives.

_Holy shit, you've been holding back on me, Bella!_ And as her hands and mouth worked over me, I didn't keep it to myself. "Jesus…fuck me…" I groaned as I felt the pressure building inside me. This made her laugh a little and the sensation of her vibrations around me sent me over the edge as I came. There wasn't a drop on me as she sat up in her seat and wiped her mouth. And she started laughing again when she looked at me.

"What's so funny?" I asked, shaking my head to come down from the clouds.

"Somehow, I don't think Jesus is going to fuck you," she said. And then she clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide and her cheeks turning pink. _Oops, did I just think that? Did I just say that out loud?_

My mouth dropped open. Bella didn't say things like that... I guessed that real time off suited her. "Oh, you little witch!" I said, grabbing her out of her seat and pulling her on top of me.

Her eyes were still big as she sat on my lap. "Oh my God, Edward, look at the effect you're having on me. I'm blowing you in a car and then blaspheming! Holy cow, I'm turning into you! What are you doing to me?"

I looked at her and smirked. _Nothing now, but just wait until I get you inside. _I started to open the car door so that I could carry her into the house but she stopped me.

"Yo, Cullen! Um, you might want to zip up or you're going to be flat on your chest with your pants at your ankles and your butt hanging out for all the neighbors to see. And this is a respectable neighborhood, boy. I don't want to see property values going down due to vampire ass exposure." Then she burst out laughing as she scrambled off of me and ran out the car door to the house.

I zipped up, unbuckled the seatbelt and beat her to the door. Picking her up, I mentally unlocked the door and got us inside. Ghosting us upstairs, I stopped at the top of the landing and decided to slow down the pace. She was smelling sooo good and I knew that I'd need a taste before the evening was through.

"Do you need a human moment?" I asked, my mouth against hers.

"Um, yeah," she said breathlessly. "Probably a good idea…"

"Okay, don't be too long," I said smirking, "or I'll come in there looking for you."

"Promises, promises..." she said grinning as she closed the bathroom door.

About five minutes later, Bella came in wearing her towel. I looked at her, surprised at her missing pajamas and she just shrugged. "I figure I'm going to end up like this anyway so I might as well save you some effort." She dropped the towel, crawled into bed and I pulled her into my arms. Her body was warm from the shower and her blood heated. Our scent was magnified and every part of her was calling to me.

And so it began… the beginning of the end. I softly nuzzled her neck while my hands found and lightly caressed her breasts. She reached for my briefs and helped pull them off of me. Then I slowly pushed her left shoulder down so that she was flat on her back looking up at me. My mouth made its way down her body, stopping to suck on her nipples, letting my tongue play in her belly button. Her energy had escalated above her threshold again by the time I settled in between her legs. The vein in her upper thigh was calling me. And so I moved my hand to finish what my mouth had started while I parted her legs a little more, put her right leg over my shoulder and then bit into her right thigh. _You're mine, Bella._

Perhaps it was the fact that it had been so long since I took her blood, but the taste was better than I remembered! She moaned as I drank deeply and she rocked against my hand. _Edward, I didn't know it was that time of the month_.

And then I just wanted to be on top of her, inside of her. As I kissed and licked and sucked my way up her body, I took in her movements as the drug-like love bite took over. Her eyes were open as her head swiveled on the pillow, and her lips parted slightly as she inhaled sharply and exhaled in short breaths. Her hands opened and closed, her back arched and her hips were moving slowly back and forth, almost as if she were doing a sensual belly dance. And that dance was beckoning to me. I lowered my body down on hers and thrust myself inside while I bit down on her neck. _Mine. Mine. Mine._

Her body shook in ecstasy and she gasped. _Two bites, Edward? Ohhh._

And then I heard nothing but the rushing of her blood in my ears and I felt the warmth pouring down my throat. It called to me. It belonged to me. It wanted to be inside of me. It felt glorious.

And swirling around it all, at last I heard one small whisper that shook me for a fraction of a second after she climaxed again. _Edward, are you going to stop? Was I supposed to ask?_

Why no. I had no intention of stopping, evidently.

My phone rang, breaking my concentration for another brief moment. But the blood said _'no… there is still more and we want to be with you.'_ I wasn't close to being finished.

And then from below, I heard the Batphone connection come on. Carlisle's voice came from the study. "Edward? Edward, are you there? Son, come back! Remember who you are! Remember who she is!"

_Come back from where? _It wasn't adding up. I couldn't think straight. Her blood was warm and soothing and more delicious than before.

Bella's body had stopped moving underneath me. And I was still drinking.

What had she thought? _Was I supposed to ask?_

And suddenly I awakened from the haze as I pulled away, horrified. OH FUCK! She hadn't asked. And I had had no intention of stopping! I was killing her and the house wasn't a blocking me from hurting her. I was on a path to fully drain her, not turn her. And I still wanted to. There was no protection for her from me… from me! The one who adored her and cherished her.

She was almost one quarter drained. Juice and cookies wouldn't help me out of this nightmare and I wouldn't be able turn her in my state. So once again, there was only one thing to do.

I bit into my forearm and brought the open gash to her mouth. "Bella, love, come back to me! Please, I'm sorry. Drink. Come back! Come back!"

I spilled my dark blood into her throat, willing her to drink. The first few drops started sliding down, making their way into her system. I poured more into her, and minutes later her mouth started moving. Her tongue flicked out to get my blood and then her mouth moved closer to my arm, sucking the blood down her throat.

I could feel her tongue on my skin and it was exciting me. I held my breath and tried to concentrate, letting her take what was needed. Her heart was beating normally again and color was starting to return to her cheeks. Pulling away from her, my wound closed quickly. I went to her drawer and fished out some underwear and a t-shirt and shorts; I carefully dressed her and covered her with the blankets. Then I moved to sit in the chair in the corner to face the truth.

Monster. That is what I was. A fucking monster. A monster for loving her, for wanting her, for taking her blood and wanting it still. Now that she'd given up her apartment, she wasn't safe from me. In the next few days, as my blood worked its way into her system more fully and intermingled with hers, it would start to call me more… and the loosening of her control on her emotional state was the wildcard that sent us spiraling down this path. Her blood was her bond with me. Her blood taken and mine freely given was going to keep her with me. But now there was no place for this to happen safely, and I couldn't trust myself.

I sat for hours trying to figure out a way around what I didn't want to do, but there was no way. If I wanted to keep her safe, I'd have to leave her. My frozen heart was cracking as I accepted the reality.

I packed quickly, grabbing a duffel bag and a handful of clothes. I disconnected and grabbed my laptop from the study and found my passport. I took a moment to write a small note and put it by the bed so that she'd see it.

I needed her to make a clean break. Having her in my house wasn't exactly going to help her with that, but she was strong and independent and she'd manage. I needed her to hate me and move on. Hating me and moving on: both ideas horrified me, but I tried to convince myself that she'd be okay. She was human and she didn't have the true bond that I had as a vampire. The pain that she'd feel wouldn't be one fraction of what I would feel for the rest of my life. I removed the ring from her finger. I took my mother's pendant from her drawer. I didn't dare allow myself even a kiss.

"Goodbye, Bella." I choked out in a whisper. "I'll love you forever." And then I ran out of the house like a coward and got in my car.

My phone started ringing immediately. I couldn't speak to my family; I was mortified at my behavior. They loved Bella too and would try to convince me to stay with her, but she was better than that. She deserved a normal life. Time and time again, I was destined to bring her trouble and pain. Even turning her was a selfish notion that I'd planted in her head; she never would have asked had I not told her my fantasy after Paris.

The phone kept ringing. No. I didn't want to speak with them. I crushed the phone in my hand and tossed the scraps in the back seat. Then I just drove into the night, leaving my heart and soul lying on that bed, never to look back.

* * *

**A/N: Um, okay, so most of you reviewers weren't upset about the baby thing (thank you) but now... Did anyone pay attention to this story synopsis... Will they make it to the altar??? **

**I said there would be ups and downs in this one... I gave you the ups. And the downs are a-here. And old friends will return. **

**Thank you to all of you who have put me on story/author alert or put me on your favorite author and/or story list. It has been a nice surprise! I hope that you trust me enough to keep reading... And please leave feedback… it helps!**


	7. The Sound of Silence

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 7: The Sound of Silence**

**BPOV**

I awoke in the middle of the night in our bedroom to silence. A deafening silence. And an empty bed. I looked around at the clock. 4:23 a.m. As I sat up, I realized I was wearing my t-shirt and shorts. This was unusual: I typically woke up naked after a night with Edward, cradled in his arms. In fact, I hadn't worn anything last night. I'd come to bed in only a towel.

"Edward?" I called. I threw my legs over the side of the bed, managed to find my slippers and stood up. My knees buckled as my feet touched the floor, my head feeling a little dizzy and my body a little weak. Holding on to various pieces of furniture as I made my way to the door and called out again. "Edward?"

My feeling of impending doom suddenly washed over me. _What happened to Edward?_ Turning on lights along the way, I made it down the stairs and searched for him in every room. "Edward?" I called out once more… but each room was empty. As I turned to leave the study, I noticed that his laptop was gone from the desk. _Did he go to the lab?_

I went back upstairs to the bedroom to get my cell phone on the bedside nightstand. As I reached for it, I noticed a note next to the phone with my name on it, clearly written in Edward's fine script. Picking up the paper, I read the very brief but pointed message he had written.

_Bella, I'm sorry.  
I can't do this anymore.  
You deserve better.  
Goodbye, Edward_

The next instant I realized I was on the floor, sitting with my back up against the mattress and box spring. I read the words again and again, the paper clutched in my hands. _What kind of fucking Jack Berger dumps Carrie Bradshaw on a Post-it note is this??? Is this a joke? Is this one of these Edward tries to piss off Bella moments?_ I let the note fall to my lap and my hands went limp over the paper as I tried to process through this… and then I noticed that my ring was gone. Finding my legs, I scrambled to my feet and stumbled to the bureau to look in my jewelry box and found that, as I dreaded, his mother's pendant was gone too. Not that I needed to check, but I looked in the closet and saw that some of his clothes were missing.

No. Not a joke. Not a joke at all. I read the note once more. I had to give it to him. Even when he broke someone's heart, Edward was elegant and classy. Shit, had it not been for the last line, it was practically a haiku.

I reached for my phone on the nightstand, turned it on and tried to call him just in case. The phone just kept rolling into voicemail after several rings. Hanging up, I dialed Alice. Despite the time difference between Chicago and Denali, clearly I would not be waking her up. She answered on the first ring. She was probably expecting my call.

"Hi, Bella," she said softly.

"Alice," I said, any traces of emotion now leaving me. "Edward left me a note… saying goodbye. Did I do something wrong?"

She paused. "Of course you didn't, Bella…What do you remember, sweetie?"

What did I remember? It was hazy. It started out as a wonderful evening of laughing and getting each other off in the car. And then it moved to a more 'typical' love making session – to the extent that anything was typical with Edward these days. I remembered Edward's beautiful face, his lips kissing mine and then his mouth all over my body. I remembered hearing his thoughts with only one mantra chanted over and over: _mine, mine, mine_. His tongue and fingers inside of me and then the bite on my thigh,,, Ecstasy… and then another bite on my neck and my wondering why he bit me twice.

"He bit me, Alice. Twice. He's never done that before. Then I blacked out until I woke up a little while ago."

She was silent and I knew that this awful feeling of dread was valid.

"He's gone for good, isn't he?" I asked.

"I don't know Bella," she said quickly.

_Ah, trying to protect me._ "Yes you do, Alice…" I said quietly.

She paused once more and then cried out, "Oh, Bella! Do you need me to come there?"

"No, thanks…" I said, my voice feeling very far away from my body. I managed to hang up just before I dropped the phone.

Somehow, I made it into the bathroom before I threw up, my last night's dinner wanting to leave me… just like Edward. As I lay on the rug in one of the only rooms that didn't remind me completely of him, another of my odd thoughts floated through my head. I wished in one brief moment of fantasy that one of Edward's superpowers could have been like Superman in that old movie I caught one Saturday on TV. Superman kissed Lois Lane and that one mega kiss erased her memory of them together. I'd have given anything to not remember anything about him as I lay in his house alone.

I read once that the five stages of grief were Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I skipped the first three.

And I lay on the floor of the bathroom for the next two days.

~#~

On the third day, I heard a doorbell ringing far off in the distance. After a while, I realized it was the doorbell to this house. I ignored it, but then the ringing became banging on the front door and I heard my name being called. Somehow in my haze, I managed to get up, but I was pretty weak and dehydrated from my days and nights on the bathroom floor. Afraid I'd take a real spill, I sat on the top of the stairs, held on to the banister, and slid down slowly one step at a time on my butt until I reached the bottom. Once I was on flat ground, I got up and opened the door. Standing there, bag in hand, hair up in a ponytail and wearing her glasses, was Angela.

I frowned. "How…?" And then I realized, "Alice."

She looked at me, her eyes wide yet soft and then she stepped in and dropped her bag on the floor and hugged me. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry."

I felt her frame against mine and was instantly comforted. _Thank you God for friends like these._

She closed the front door behind her and looked around. "How much of your stuff do you have here?" she asked.

_What? How much of my stuff? Why is she asking that?_ And then I got it. _Yes. First order of business. Get me out of here, please._

I nodded, to show her that I understood. "All of it… I moved in a few weeks ago, so it's only clothes and some books and my movies and one sofa in the study."

"Okay. Do you still have the boxes by any chance or do I need to go scrounge some up?"

"Lucky me, I still have them," I somehow managed to respond.

She looked at me and shook her head. "Alright, show me where the boxes are and I'll start packing your clothes while you go get cleaned up."

She pointed me to the shower where I stayed for a long time, eventually just sitting in the tub and letting the hot water from the showerhead above drench me. After I hadn't exited for a while, she became worried and so she knocked and came in. I saw her hand come into the shower, turn off the water and then disappear, only to reappear with a towel. I took it from her and then I heard the door close again. Holding on to the tub and the walls, I stood up shakily and toweled off. Tossing the shower curtain to the side, I noticed that she had placed a cup of tea for me on the counter.

I stepped out, wiped the condensation from the mirror and looked at myself. Who was that person? I didn't recognize her. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked a little thinner from three days without food. She also looked a little more pale than usual. The remnants of the bite marks were still on her neck and her leg. I took a deep breath and then realized that I could barely inhale because my chest felt so constricted. As I started to cough, I decided to stick with shallow breathing for a while. I picked up the cup of tea and drank a little... the warmth helped sooth my dry throat.

I walked out wrapped in my towel and found that Angela had already packed ¾ of my clothes. Thank God I wasn't a clothes horse. I found something to wear and dressed behind her in the corner, then I sat on the chair.

"Where are we going?" I asked. I felt so tired and really wanted to crawl into bed and sleep more.

"We'll go to my hotel," she said, still folding quickly. "I'm staying downtown at the Sofitel. We'll leave these boxes here for a day or two while we find you an apartment and then we'll get some movers."

The thought of leaving anything behind jolted me into reality. "No!" I cried. "I don't want to have to come back here. Let's take it all and put it in storage even if it is only for a few days. I have some extra money; I can afford it."

"Okay," she said calmly. "Okay. Can you look around and find what else is yours to get packed or is that too hard?"

"I can do it," I said. "There's not much." I grabbed a box and went downstairs to the study.

It was hard to wander around the house and not feel him. It was all him everywhere as it was his house, obviously. His wonderful scent permeated everything… and his classic taste and style was every place I looked. But the worst part was my head. It was completely silent. I'd gotten so used to hearing his thoughts mingled with mine… dirty or clean. Finding a quick burst of energy, I ran upstairs, grabbed my iPod and put it on, trying to drown out the silence.

However, I quickly found that the iPod was nothing but yet another reminder. While I stayed away from my "Romance Songs" and "Sad Songs Say So Much" playlists, as well as the movie soundtracks, and even the freakin' "Dance Tunes" list, which had all of these upbeat danceable songs from the 1970s to the 2000s on it, because they had stupid lyrics reminding me of a break up or of a love I no longer had… "No Reply at All", "All I Want", "If You Let Me Stay", "Everlasting Love", "Miss You Much".

I furiously scrolled down, looking for something, anything, that would take my mind off of him. Finally I ripped the earbuds out of my ears and threw the iPod across the room, smashing it against the wall outside of the study.

"Bella?" Angela called out, hearing the noise.

I was staring at the damn thing which was still in one resilient little piece. "FUCK!" I shouted and I jumped up to run to the kitchen, finding the toolbox and grabbing a hammer. And then I ran back and began to smash the fucker to little bits.

I was still hammering and had definitely crushed it as well as made some dents in the beautiful hardwood floors when Angela spoke again. "Bella!" she called. I looked up to see her on the stairs. She had a small smile on her face.

"Um, I think that you sufficiently killed it." I looked down at the chunks of iPod all over the floor and dropped the hammer as I looked back up at her.

Her eyes were soft. "I know," she said, "I wish it were his head too."

I managed a small laugh and pushed my bangs off of my forehead. "I guess I didn't completely skip the anger part of the grief process after all."

"Good," she said. "Use that to just keep going. We'll get you out of here in no time."

~#~

We were packed in about two hours. Angela was so efficient. She arranged for the movers to come that afternoon and move my stuff into a storage locker that we rented. In the meantime, she made me some tea and tried to get me to eat. But I eat when I'm happy… and my diet suffers big-time when I'm upset. I couldn't stomach anything.

As we packed the last remnants of my boxes, I opened the one in which I kept my photos and found the ones I had of Edward and me or just him. It hurt so much to look at him and how stunningly beautiful he was… and to see me looking so happy next to him. I handed them to Angela.

"Please shred these," I said, pointing to the shredder by Edward's desk.

"Are you sure?"

"Just shred them… and please delete any and all that I have on my computer."

I left the photos of me with his family on the desk and we exited the house.

When we got to Angela's hotel, I had one last thing to do. I went to business services and completed a Fedex shipping label. I popped the house keys in the envelope and left instructions for Esme to handle the renovations to Edward's house. I wrote a check for $30,000 and shoved that in the envelope as well. Then I sealed it and mailed it off to the Cullens. And then, once we were in her room, I crawled into bed and buried myself for the night.

Thankfully, Angela handled the calls that came in from my mom and dad over the next day, who didn't know about the breakup. I could hear her telling them when she answered my phone.

"Hi, Renee, it's Angela Weber. Yes, I'm here visiting with Bella. We're in a hotel in Chicago." She paused. "She and Edward broke up it seems. No, I'm not really sure what happened. She's not talking right now… No, I don't think that she'd want that. I'm going to help her get a new apartment over the next few days and get resettled. Yeah, I'll tell her that you called."

Within three days, I was settled into my new apartment at the corner of Clark and Fullerton in Lincoln Park. It was a nice neighborhood with lots of restaurants and shops, close to the lake and near a bus line to downtown for work. My apartment was on the 17th floor and I had a great view. They even gave me a lovely little 'Welcome' gift basket on my kitchen counter when I moved in.

I disconnected my phone service and got a new plan and phone. He had given me that phone and I certainly didn't want it now. I needed a fresh start and I'd contact anyone who needed to reach me to let them know of the number. I doubted that he would try to reach me, given his note. I smashed the phone too, just to make myself feel good for a few moments.

On her last day with me, Angela and I walked along Lake Michigan together. I was eternally grateful for her. There weren't enough words to express the feelings I had for what she had just done for me in one short week. Finally, I felt able to talk and I knew that I owed her an explanation. We sat on a set of benches in one of the grassy areas near the Lincoln Park Zoo.

"I was pregnant," I said quietly.

Her mouth dropped open. "What? Didn't he want the baby?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'm not explaining this right. That was the wrong place to start… It just came out. Hold off on your questions while I try to say this."

She nodded. "Okay."

I looked down at my sneakers while I attempted to give her the concise story. "A few months ago, I was attacked by a friend of his. I was impaled on a stake. I almost died. He gave me his blood to heal me… and after that I could hear his thoughts."

"Something about his blood and mine changed my scent to him, and it made him more attracted to me. Our physical activity increased dramatically. I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage after about a month. It was weird... I was craving blood and I had to have some for the baby but I felt kind of funny each time... while my body was absorbing it I guess." I shook my head and I finally looked up at her. Her mouth was open again, a worried look in her eyes. I shrugged and managed a small smile. "It has been a busy couple of months."

"Anyway, I think he lost control. My blood and his blood together…"

"Is that why he left?" she asked.

"You saw the note."

"Bella, I saw it alright, and it was just as clear as Berger's Post-it."

Despite my deep sadness, that comment made me smile. _Yep, that's why she's my girl. She thought it too. I'm not the only nut job seeing the pathetic link between Sex and the City and my freakin' life._

"Well, I don't know why he left other than what he said, but it may be. The last night he bit me twice… something he'd never done before…" Images of that last night, of his hands and mouth on me flashed through my head. I pushed them away. "I don't know. I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Anyway, thank you so much for getting me through this Angela."

She looked down at her shoes. Her next words were gentle. "Bella, I've known you for a couple of years now and I've been watching you carefully this past week. You're NOT through this. Not by a long shot. You haven't even cried yet." And then she looked back up at me. "But you're strong. And you WILL get through this. You will. But please, do me a favor: start eating. You've lost ten pounds this last week. Don't starve yourself, and no matter what, I'm just a phone call away. Please don't hesitate to pick up the phone, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks. I always know I can count on you." Suddenly something started itching at my mind. With my luck, this probably would happen. "Hey, do me a favor, okay? If you see him in San Francisco, don't tell me."

"Why would I see him?" she asked.

"He knows someone there. A woman from his past: Tanya. If you see him, I don't want to know."

She nodded. "Okay." Then she stood up. "Let's go get my stuff and call a cab to a take me to the airport. Oh, and here," she said reaching into her bag. She handed me a box.

I looked at the gift curiously as I opened it. It was a new iPod. I managed a chuckle.

"I loaded it up with your old lists that I synced up with your laptop. That took some sneaking around to do. Don't take a hammer to it." She smiled. "When you're ready," she said softly, "you'll dance again. You'll even fly."

"Yeah," I said. "I know I will."

* * *

**A/N: And that's why God made girlfriends. **

**Hey all, I got a few PMs after the last chapter (as feared, I lost a few readers on that one - *sniff*, but I understand. I didn't like that damn break-up in NM either. DREADING seeing it on film.)**

**So here is what you need to know: yes, the break-up channels New Moon. But it wasn't done JUST to channel New Moon. She HAS to be without Edward in order to go where she goes, to allow the things that happen to her and to get to the conclusion that I want. ****Nothing**** has been or is gratuitous. And you should know me by now if you've read the last two stories... and the kind of resolutions that I like to see.**

**Soooo, for those of you still out there reading, thanks for reading so far and for staying with me. Please leave feedback… it helps!**

_Post A/N: To Vampyre - sounds like someone is already making you their snack at night... You, me and Bella ought to vacation together. Just imagine the things that would happen to us... Where do you want to go: Ward? New Orleans? Santorini? Volterra? LOL. You can let me know after Ch. 11._


	8. Erasing My Memory

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE. **

**Um, and other than my copies of the book and DVD, I don't own the The Shawshank Redemption either - that belongs to Stephen King and Castle Rock Entertainment.**

**

* * *

Chapter 8: Erasing My Memory**

**EPOV**

I drove like a bat out of hell, not having a clue as to where I was going. I needed to get as far away from her siren call as possible, but with each mile that I put behind me, I heard it louder in my head… and in my heart. I also felt it in my blood. The distance made my body ache.

It didn't help that her scent permeated the car. Only a few hours earlier, she'd been laughing in the passenger seat, giggling on my lap. I could still smell her arousal. I could still feel her mouth on me. I was going to go insane. I drove with the windows open, gasping for fresh air, hoping for any other smells that would help to mask hers.

As soon as I could find one that was open, I stopped at a car wash and purchased the deluxe cleaning, desperate to rid myself of the reminder, but I would need a lobotomy to truly cleanse my mind. Her face was burned on my brain, and I saw the ghost of her beautiful chocolate eyes in front of everything that I looked at...

For a very short while, I listened to the radio hoping to drown out the night's events with some soothing music. But every song I heard reminded me of love or loss. And finally, when 'Brown Eyed Girl' dared to mock me with its unholy words, I ripped the fucking thing out of the dashboard and tossed the God damned radio out of the car.

I fought myself the whole way down to New Orleans, which is where I first ended up. You might wonder why, if I felt this way, was I denying myself? She wanted me, and I her.

Because I couldn't trust myself to go back and not kill her. More importantly, because deep down I knew I never should have wanted what I wanted. I shouldn't have wanted this life for her. Good, wonderful beings such as Bella were rare gems… and they were meant to live their one life, make their small impact and then move on to the afterlife. It was the normal course of existence. A vampire was an abomination that defied what should have been. And those two words - Bella and abomination - were such polar opposites, I knew that I needed to do right by her.

As I tried to convince myself that what I was doing was absolutely the correct thing, a few lines from her favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption, swirled around in my brain:

'_I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place that you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone… I guess I just miss my friend.'_

I'd have given anything to be human again… and to live only one lifetime with Bella, in a world where I'd do her no harm and love her as she deserved. As it was, I had nothing to give her but her freedom. It was wrong of me to try to cage her, to tie her to a vampire's life with me… And I would do my best to live knowing that she was free.

~#~

The first month was torture. I went from day to day, minute to minute, willing myself to stay far away from Chicago. When I arrived in New Orleans, I checked into a hotel in the French Quarter near Bourbon Street looking to be distracted. This area of town was busy day and night and would be a welcome change from the quiet, peaceful home life that I had been establishing with Bella.

Or so I thought.

It ends up that my hotel was on the route for one of the city's Ghost and Vampire tours. New Orleans was filled with real vampires and several of them actually decided to tease tourists by taking them on tours of the famed haunted houses and give them a small bit of 'Nawlins' darker side. Of course, these tours were aimed at perpetuating the stereotypes we'd created to fool humans. So each night I watched dozens of gullible tourists listening to the bullshit stories their human tour guide was telling.

And, each night, I watched a buffoon of a man following the tour. He was dressed in a gray tuxedo with tails and a top hat. His hair was brown, scraggly and hung down to his chest and he had a mustache and a small soul patch. He wore little round sunglasses with blue tinted frames.

I would have thought nothing of him but for the tour that paraded by my hotel the sixth night that I was there. As I sat on the balcony of my room overlooking the street, I watched the tour make its way around the corner per the typical nightly time. Suddenly, I was startled when I saw a slender young woman with brown eyes and long chestnut-colored hair that hung down to her mid-back turn the corner, bringing up the rear of the tour. The young woman looked to be in her mid-20s and was accompanied by her dark haired father. I froze, holding my breath, until I realized that it wasn't Bella and Charlie.

The young woman kept looking back at the tuxedoed man who was following the group. And then, when there was a pause in the tour guide's explanation of my 'haunted' hotel, she made her way to the front to speak to the guide. "Who is that guy following us?" she asked.

The guide looked back and shrugged. "Some nut case. He thinks he's a vampire."

She looked back at the tuxedo-buffoon and said, "He looks like Gary Oldman in Dracula."

"Yeah, I think that's the look he was going for. He likes to follow the tours. I heard the guy legally changed his name to Vlad the Impaler," the guide said, shaking his head.

The woman fell back as the tour continued, letting her fellow tourists go by as she reconnected with her dad who had stayed at the rear. They continued to walk down the street with the group and 'Vlad' followed them. I heard his thoughts as they passed below me.

_Ah my brown-eyed, brown-haired beauty. You're the best one of this bunch. I'll go for you first._

Suddenly I was furious. No, the young woman wasn't Bella, but she could have been, and no one should have to deal with an idiot like that.

Looking quickly up and down the street to make sure there were no witnesses, I jumped off the balcony, ghosted to Vlad, grabbed him by his ridiculous tuxedo jacket and ghosted him back into an alley.

"Do you really want to be one of us, Vlad?" I hissed in his ear as I shoved him up against a wall. "I don't think you'll like how it happens."

His eyes were wide as he took me in. I grabbed one of his arms and brought his wrist toward my mouth. "One bite. One bite is all it takes. One small bite and several days of excruciating pain." I stared at him. "Is that what you really want?"

"Jesus, man!" he cried out. "I only do this to get chicks! Chicks LOVE vampires."

_Chicks love vampires. What the fuck?_

I released his arm, straightened up and began to walk away from him. But then I ghosted back, put my hand to his throat and pinned him against the wall again.

"You cut this shit out," I muttered, "or you'll see how much this vampire LOVES you." I released him and he collapsed to the ground. I could hear him resolving to change his modus operandi to something more tame to hit on women… like 'lost foreign exchange' student. _Asshole._

I made my way out of the alley and looked down the street as the tour turned the corner. My Bella look-alike was looking down at her feet as she walked, and then she and her dad disappeared from view.

It was a mistake to go to New Orleans. Very few New Orleans vampires lived the civilized life and watching them stalk humans night after night disgusted me. And seeing the young woman being targeted by the fake vampire only reminded me of my own inexcusable behavior when I began stalking a similar young woman a year and a half ago. I left that night to move on to Savannah, Georgia.

Which was no better. Because walking around Savannah, a town that very much embodied the beauty and style of the old South, I became aware of couples strolling arm in arm everywhere. _Fucking couples. Is this some sort of honeymoon destination? Jesus!_

I stayed only two nights in Savannah, using the time to figure out where to go next. I longed to be with my family, but I couldn't face them just yet. I craved familiarity and yet I wanted to avoid places that reminded me of her. Finding no previous reminders in Ireland, I decided to visit some of our friends there. I drove back to Atlanta, hopped a plane, and made my way to Shannon, Ireland to visit our friends Siobhan, Liam and Maggie.

It was nice spending time with them, albeit difficult. Siobhan and Liam were a bonded pair and I struggled to avoid feeling empty watching them together. And little Maggie was ultra perceptive due to her own special talent of knowing when someone lied to her. So I heard her thoughts when we discussed how my family was and how I was doing, but she never said anything until several days had passed.

One night as I stepped outside for a long walk to give Siobhan and Liam some privacy – and frankly to avoid hearing any more passionate cries in the night, human or vampire – I became aware of small footsteps behind me. Then I heard her. _Edward, don't be so sad._

I sighed. "I would love to tell you that I'm fine, but I know that I can't lie to you Maggie. However, I'm not in a good place to speak about it."

I heard her thoughts again and realized that she knew. "I heard from Alice a little while ago. I emailed her yesterday telling her that you had arrived here. She told me about your Bella."

"I don't have a Bella anymore, Maggie," I choked.

"By your choice, as I understand it," she said softly. I didn't look at her. "Here is what I know," she said. "The truth is that you're hurting, despite what you tell us. I don't need my gift to be able to see that: we can all see it. You're running to forget her, but you're horribly guilty for what you've done to Bella… and to yourself."

I flinched every time she said Bella's name. I looked at her in my peripheral vision as she finished her thought.

"The only way you'll get past this is to see her one more time and let both of you begin to heal. I truly believe that." She touched my shoulder as she made her way back to the house.

I left a day later for my next destination, once again not quite sure where I would go. As I drove to the Shannon airport, I thought of Siobhan's final words to me.

"Edward, I read Alice's email and I know what you and Maggie discussed. I know you're struggling with this. My 'gift' isn't even close to what Carlisle believes of me… but if I have even one fraction of that skill, know this: I am thinking positively for a good outcome for you and Bella, together, as your family believes you should be... and as you truly wish for in your heart."

~#~

Making my way from Shannon to Dublin, I looked at the flight departure list in search of a destination. Nowhere would bring relief. Japan reminded me of her Karate classes. China and India would remind me of her favorite foods. I wanted out of Western Europe because it was too close to Paris. No Spanish speaking countries, which knocked out Latin America and most of South America – Bella spoke some Spanish. I had to avoid New Zealand and Australia because of her collection of Lord of The Rings and Baz Luhrmann movies, respectively. Finally, I settled on St. Petersburg because I couldn't find a connection to her there.

Once settled in a hotel, I finally decided to make the call I'd been avoiding. I hooked up my internet connection, powered up the laptop and dialed Carlisle's Batphone.

Rosalie's face appeared first. _Shit._ "Esme," she said looking offscreen, "I'm warning you now, my language isn't going to be pretty." Then she turned back to me. "You asshole! What did you do? How could you?"

I was torn between wanting to really let loose on Rose and letting her rake me over the coals. I deserved the coals. I stayed silent.

"Seriously, Edward, how could you up and leave her in the middle of the night? She was pregnant with your child not a month before! You shit!"

"Rosalie, are Carlisle and Alice there?" I asked politely.

"Don't try to avoid the fucking question!" she snarled. Emmett then stepped into view, putting a hand on Rosalie's shoulder.

"Babe, calm down. You're not going to be able to virtually kick his ass in any way that is satisfying so just let it go." She huffed and crossed her arms, looking away. Emmett looked at me.

"Dude, we're trying to understand… why?"

"Didn't Alice tell you?" I asked.

"Alice saw it as it was happening…"

"Yes, thankfully, Carlisle's called and stopped me," I said, grimacing.

Emmett shrugged and shook his head, trying to understand. "So why did you run? The poor kid didn't know what had happened."

"The same reason I didn't turn her after James. I had nothing to stop me. There was no safe haven. I was on my way to draining her completely."

"Shit," Emmett breathed.

Rosalie looked back at me one more time. "You owed her an explanation Edward. You could have called to tell her afterward, once you were a safe distance away."

Carlisle's voice came from offscreen. "Rosalie, Emmett, let me talk with him." They stepped away and Carlisle sat down.

"Son, how are you?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

I took a big breath and exhaled. It physically hurt to do that; my lungs felt so tight, although I didn't need the air. "I've been better."

"I understand you've been on the move. Are you finding what you're looking for?"

"I'm not looking for anything, Carlisle. I'm running as far from her as I can."

"Son, the bond you feel…"

I took another big breath and held it this time. The bond I felt. Yes. I could still feel it thousands of miles away. Even this far, her pull was magnetic.

"I have to bear through the pain," I said looking down. "I can't call her, Carlisle. I'd only go back and end up hurting her again. It is what is best for her." Then I dared to ask the question I had no right asking. "Did she call?"

"Just once," he said quietly, "when she awoke in the middle of the night to find you missing. It was a brief conversation. Alice spoke with her." He paused. "Edward, what will you do next?"

I looked back up at him. "I don't know. I'm taking it day by day for now. You'll have to forgive me if I don't stay in touch. I… I think I just need to get lost for a while."

Carlisle's eyes were gentle. He nodded. "We're here for you, son. Call when you need us."

"Thank you. That is more than I deserve," I said. "That's an understatement, you rat bastard!" Rosalie's angry voice came from off camera. "Rosalie! That's enough," Esme hissed.

I closed my eyes. "May I speak with Alice?"

"Hi Edward," she said softly. I opened my eyes and Alice's face appeared on screen. Carlisle had stepped away.

"Alice, please, I beg of you. Don't go looking for her future. Leave her be."

"Edward, I don't think that is the best thing…"

I cut her off. "Bella deserves a normal human life. Hanging around the Cullen family isn't normal. We should all leave her alone."

"But Edward, she's my friend! I love her! We all do!" Alice cried. "And so do you," she whispered.

I looked down at my hands in my lap and nodded. "And because of that love, I have to let her go." I looked back up at the screen again. "Please. Promise me Alice."

She looked at me sadly. "Okay," she whispered, "I won't go looking for her future." She looked off to the side and spoke again. "You're going to be on the move for a while. Do yourself a favor. Use your laptop as little as possible."

My brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

She turned to face me again. "Just trust me Edward, for your own good. Use it only when you need to make reservations through the internet or to call us when you need us. We love you. Be well." I saw her reach off camera and then the screen went dark.

I went to the bed to lie down and meditate. I soon found myself crumpled in a small ball in the middle of the bed, wishing I could erase my memory the way one erases a hard drive. I needed a delete button.

And each day that passed got worse rather than better. Here, in this far section of the world, I tried desperately to forget her, which was very hard to do... because I had a laptop full of pictures of her.

Like a traffic accident that you can't stop yourself from staring at, I tried not to look and I managed to hold off for about a week after the call with my family. However, the photos - like the rest of her - called to me. I thought back to Maggie's words about seeing each other again once more and then convinced myself that by allowing myself to view the pictures, I could look, erase them and begin to heal. And that somewhere, on the other side of the world, Bella would do the same.

I opened one of the more recent files that I had. It was a series of photos that I had taken of her with the new camera her mother had sent her in advance of her graduation so that she could take pictures of her friends. I braced myself for the images that I was about to see as I pulled up the photo album. I put them on slideshow mode so that it looked like I was watching a living, breathing Bella, not a series of stills; I remembered everything that happened, every word spoken, every thought I had at the time.

These were taken during the last week of school. She sat on her papasan chair in her apartment studying for her final exams while I sat on the bed nearby:

Photo 1: Looking down at her notes, her capped highlighter poised on her bottom lip. She had been tapping it against her lip as per her usual habit. _Jesus, Bella, I wish I were that pen._

Photo 2: A little smirk on her face, her head still down but her eyes peeking up at me. "I heard that Edward. I'm trying to study. Don't distract me."

Photo 3: Pushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. _Me? Distracting you?_

Photo 4. Looking at me, her hands on her notes, her mouth open forming the word 'Hey.' "Hey, stop taking my picture!"

Photo 5. Her face in a state of shock. Her jaw had dropped open and her eyes were wide in reaction to the poem I'd just started making up to really distract her. _Bella gets an A in class, I will FU-_

Photo 6. Her brow furrowed, her mouth forming the word 'Oh,' the index finger of her right hand up pointing at me. Her energy level had bumped up two notches on the surprise alone. "Oh no, Mister," she said, cutting me off. "Unless you're about to finish with 'I will FEED you largemouth bass,' NOTHING rhymes with class as far as your poems go! Not ready for that. Try me again in 20 years." _Excellent_.

Photo 7: Her eyes closed, a small smile on her face, her cheeks pink. "Edward, I can't believe that you're excited about waiting 20 years for THAT, you horn-dog."

Photo 8: A closer photo, her hand palm up outstretched in front of her, trying to block her face from the camera as I started walking toward her. Her energy level had escalated even higher due to my thoughts and her annoyance. "Seriously, stop taking my picture!"

Photo 9: An even closer photo. Her face looking downward, the fingers of her right hand combed through her hair holding her bangs off of her face, her head leaning on this hand as the right elbow was propped up on her right leg. _Okay, I give up._

Photo 10: A close up on just her face. My fingers touching her chin as I raised her face to look up at me, her beautiful brown eyes shining and her mouth smiling widely. She was like a radiant sun, my own personal glowing star; she lit up the darkness that had been my life. _I love you, Edward._

The slideshow ended on this last photo and her face was still smiling at me on the screen. I selected all photos and right clicked on them, the mouse arrow poised over Delete.

And then somehow my traitorous hand listened to the whispers from my frozen heart... and the two betrayed my mind as my hand instead moved the mouse arrow over the Replay Slideshow button and clicked it to show the photos again.

And again...

And again.

* * *

**A/N: Sigh, another sad chapter. But Edward wanted you to know his perspective... his masochistic, asinine perspective. Yeesh, that boy can torture himself.**

**Don't despair. We're at the end of the downs... The action will pick up from here. Life goes on...**

**If you're still out there, thanks for reading so far. Please leave a review! **

_Post A/N: FYI, that Vlad guy did follow my tour in New Orleans but he was no Gary Oldman/Dracula. Not by a long shot. LOL._


	9. With a Little Help From My Friends

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE. (FYI - introducing some new characters in this one... none of the existing ones would suffice.)**

**

* * *

Chapter 9: With a Little Help From My Friends**

**BPOV**

Raised as a Catholic, I had grown up believing in God. I still believed … even though I didn't go to church anymore or understand His "mysterious ways", particularly why He was doing this to me right now. As such, I was a firm believer in a few things:

A) Do unto others as you would have done unto you… because God was in charge of karma;

B) Always say 'God bless you' to whomever sneezed around you, even if you don't know the person… actually, that one I learned from the movie Dogma; and

C) The Footprints poem where God carried the person in times of trial and suffering was true. Over the course of my life, I believe He did it by sending me someone who was there for me when I most needed it. After our breakup, He sent me Angela to help me pack and move out of the house. And then He sent some other helpers.

~#~

About three weeks after my move to Lincoln Park, Nicole showed up at my door. Nicole was a commercial real estate lending banker in New York and had been my roommate at Dartmouth. I was shocked.

"Nicki! Hi!" I said, hugging her, "What are you doing here?"

"Angela, Serena and I had a conference call two weeks ago." She walked past me and looked around a little, her long dark hair swishing on her back as her head swiveled around. She'd gotten it cut a little since I last saw her and the layers complemented her round Hawaiian-looking face. "Nice apartment."

"Thanks."

She whirled around. "We're going to Italy. San Gimignano."

"San Gimignano?"

"Yeah, Serena has a spare room in her pensione for a week and so we're kidnapping you."

I felt my chest constrict. Aside from trips to Blockbuster down the road and the Thai place across the street, I hadn't been out too much over the past few weeks and wasn't sure I could deal with the outside world just yet. "I can't…"

"What excuse do you have? You don't start work for another two weeks." She looked around, saw a door and pointed at it. "Bedroom," she stated and walked through. "I'm helping you pack. It will be hot there."

I followed her. "Nicole, I don't know..."

"Fuck that shit," she said. Yeah, Nicole may have looked meek and like a nice Hawaiian due to her half-Asian ethnicity but she grew up in New York and had no qualms about expressing herself with choice words. She turned and grabbed me by my shoulders. "Bella, there is NOTHING better for getting over pale bronze-haired shitheads than hanging around dark-eyed, dark-haired swarthy Italian men. You're going." She opened the door to my closet and started eyeing my wardrobe. "Plus, you took Italian in college. I'll need someone to give me the Italian equivalent of 'voulez-vous coucher avec moi.' "

I laughed. "Okay, A) My Italian is rusty, B) I don't know how to say that in Italian, and C) You'd never say that to a stranger, let alone to a strange Italian man."

She shrugged. "I know. Whatever. It's nice to dream. Anyway, Angela can't come but she said it's her treat for some hazelnut gelato for you and a bottle of Brunello di Montalcino – not together of course. I'll join you on the gelato… I'll be drinking Peroni when I'm there since I don't like wine." She looked at me. "So?"

_I love my friends. They were right: get away. _I nodded. "I'm in."

~#~

We left a few days later. Nicole used her frequent flyer miles to upgrade us from economy to business class to Florence. I didn't want to think about my last European trip too much so I took half of a Tylenol PM and knocked myself out for the flight. I didn't even wait for dinner.

Serena was waiting for us outside of customs and baggage claim looking all glamorous and European despite her Indian ethnicity. She wore big sunglasses and a scarf draped around her hair and wrapped around her neck. "Ciao Bella!" she said, air kissing my cheeks.

"Cut the crap Serena. Give me a real hug," I said.

Serena had been one of my project managers at BCG. Another native New Yorker, she was a Dartmouth alumnus as well, but from the B'school, Amos Tuck. She rapidly became a good friend and mentor when we worked together, and she had desperately tried to get me on-board with her classic sense of style, but I didn't have her income or family wealth or any sort of fashion sense, so it was a losing battle. However, I loved shopping with her. The woman could drop $10,000 on herself in a couple of hours no problem. She could give Alice a run for her money.

She hugged me warmly, then she pulled back and looked at me. "You look like hell, BB," she said softly. BB was her nickname for me… depending on the moment, it stood for Blunt Bella, Beautiful Bella or Badass Bella. It was an amazingly versatile nickname. "You've lost so much weight." Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "Fuck him," she said. "Let's have fun, okay?"

Serena drove slowly as we made our way through Tuscany and it was driving me crazy. We were in Italy… land of the cars right on your ass flashing signals and beeping. "Jeez Serena, you're practically DWO and you're not O! What the hell? Pick it up. I could walk faster... Let me drive." Serena and I had traveled a lot together and we were practically like sisters... sisters who fought and gave each other shit.

"DWO?" Nicole asked.

"Driving While Old. Snail's pace." I said.

"I got five tickets in the last two months," Serena said. "No more leadfoot."

"Were the cops cute at least?" Nicole asked.

Serena smiled widely. "Don't you know it! I was asked out by two of them."

"Well, damn, floor it girl. We're only in town for a week and Bella needs a distraction," Nicki said laughing.

I looked out the window. Cute guys. I hadn't thought of another man in ages. I supposed that I'd have to get used to that eventually.

As we made our way through the countryside, I caught a glimpse of San Gimignano's tall towers in the distance as the town came into view. The medieval skyscrapers in this walled hill town in Tuscany were what drove the tourists in by busloads daily. Luckily, Serena's pensione was off the main tourist drag.

I chuckled when we pulled up to her building and saw the name of the place: Pensione Karma. She had purchased the place a year ago after she left BCG for a career change. She had told me that she planned on renaming it, but it took her that long to actually do it. Serena could overprocess and overthink more than anyone I knew.

"Karma, Serena? That's an Italian sounding name," Nicki said sarcastically, having the same reaction as I did.

Serena took one hand and lowered her sunglasses down her nose so that she could look at directly in the eyes. That was one of her 'don't fuck with me' looks. "I'm Indian and it is my place, so I'll call it whatever I want. It's been booked solid since the name change so I guess Indian works just fine. Now get your butts inside so that we can get you settled in and we can relax."

Nicki and I settled into a room with a double bed and unpacked our things. "I guess we'll be sharing any cute Italian guys who either of us finds," she said, smirking at me and pointing to our bed. Nicole was teasing; neither of us had ever been that type of gal.

I shook my head. "You know double beds here in Europe are often twin beds put together." I looked more closely and found the split between the two small mattresses. "We can separate these no problem so that we don't have to share, but the width on these mattresses is mighty small so whatever guy you find had better be damn skinny. I have my iPod so feel free to bring him in; I'll just blast the music and cover my head. You'll never know I'm here. You can scream and moan and ride him to your heart's content."

Nicole's mouth dropped open. I never joked about sex before. Well, that was probably because I hadn't done it before when we last hung out for any length of time, so I didn't know what the hell to say.

I made a face. "Sorry. Someone was a bad influence on me, I guess."

Her open mouth slowly closed into a smile. "Actually, I was just thinking that it's about time. If nothing else came out of that relationship, you can think and talk smut now."

_You have no idea._

We went back downstairs and sat down on the patio overlooking an olive grove. Serena stood up to head inside but paused to ask, "Are you guys okay with just pasta tonight?"

"JUST pasta?" Nicki asked.

"Pasta is usually only the primo piatto – the first course – in Italy," I explained. "It is different than the typical Italian restaurants in the States." I looked at Serena. "Pasta works for me." "Me too," Nicole said.

Serena disappeared into the kitchen; we could hear her giving her cook instructions. "Vorremmo solo il primo piatto. Le pappardelle al cinghiale, per favore."

"D'accordo," a man's low voice replied.

A little while later we sat eating the most delicious wild boar ragu on top of pappardelle pasta. Serena poured the Amarone della Valpolicella and we enjoyed our first evening there, eating and entertaining Nicole with stories of Serena's and my last trip to Italy several years ago. It was then that Serena made the decision to leave consulting and take over this pensione in San Gimignano.

"We went to Milano and then took a day trip to Lake Como to go in search of Mr. Clooney. Didn't find him though, damn it," I said.

Serena smiled. "I've found him since."

Nicki's eyes popped out. "You have not!"

Nicki wasn't used to Serena's talents. Serena didn't wait for anything to happen to her; she bent the world to her will. I had no doubt that she found George Clooney in her usual forceful manner and then managed to have coffee with him.

"Yes, I did. I'm very persuasive. He is better looking in person," she said, swooning.

"The last time we were here, Serena refused to drive because she was afraid…" I began.

"This was clearly before she started using her driving talents to lure men," Nicki said dryly.

Serena's eyes narrowed and looking at Nicki she gently rubbed her nose with her index, middle and ring fingers on her left hand.

Nicki laughed. "So polite of you! Italy has changed you. A real New Yorker would have just used one finger."

"I'm the owner of this place. I have to be respectable in front of guests," she said sweetly. "Go on BB."

"We drove around Tuscany, just stopping wherever looked interesting. I'd heard about this spa town that was supposed to be lovely so we found it on a map and went there... what was that town?"

"Montecatini Terme," Serena answered.

"That's right. So here we were, walking around some fairly empty streets by these beautifully manicured gardens and old mansion-looking buildings. It's gorgeous, flowers everywhere. We were looking for a place to just sit and eat our bread and cheese and drink our Oranginas." I remembered that day so clearly.

"Suddenly, I see this guy walking down the street in our direction. Not coming to us specifically, but just walking our way. He looks crazy. Like a zombie. His eyes are bugged out. His hair is sticking out all directions and his neck has this gauze wrapped around it… he's all bandaged up."

Serena jumped in. "As he's walking toward us, Bella whispered to me, 'Serena, do you see that guy?' I'm walking and looking in every direction BUT at that guy. The one ugly thing in the whole town and Bella fixated on it. Figures."

"How could we avoid it?! He was the only other person on the street midday! How could you not look at him?"

"I managed nicely, thank you," she said. "I like to look at and surround myself with beautiful things." We laughed. Remembering this guy and his odd look suddenly made me wonder why he was bandaged up and walking like that. Now, knowing what I know, I wondered if the guy hadn't been ravaged by a vampire. Yeesh. With my luck, he probably had been. Ward and Paris clearly proved that I was a vampire magnet. _Sure, I randomly picked a town on the map to visit and it was probably loaded with them._

Around that time, the cook came out to see how we liked the food. Nicki's and my collective jaws dropped. This guy was a tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed, well-toned, gorgeous man. "Ah, Marco!" Serena said, reaching out for his hands. _Hot damn, Serena._ The guy was almost as beautiful as the Cullens.

"Bella, Nicki, this is Marco, my chef. Marco, Nicola e Bella," she said, gesturing toward us.

"Molto lieto,**" **Marco said, nodding at both of us. "Pleased to meet you," he repeated in accented English. His eyes met mine and I could have sworn I saw a faint bit of curiosity in them as he took me in. She must have told him about me and my breakup. Then he turned back to look at Serena.

Serena let go of his hands. "Grazie, Marco. Delizioso!" she said, smiling.

I added my compliments. "Una vera bontà…" I said raising my wine glass to salute him. Then I took a sip. _Yes indeed, it was divine._

Nicole piped in raising her glass of Peroni. "Sono il tuo schiavo."

I choked on my wine when I heard that and started coughing. Nicki turned to hit me on the back. Meanwhile Serena's eyes were big and Marco burst out laughing. "Grazie, bella donna," he said winking as he took away our plates.

I turned to Nicki when I could finally breathe. "'I AM YOUR SLAVE?!' Where did you get that from?"

She shrugged. "My Wicked Italian phrasebook. I memorized it in case I could find a use for it." She leaned over to me and whispered, "Okay, you might need to learn how to say that phrase I asked you about and teach it to me." Then she sat back and looked over at Serena. "Damn, Serena, are you going out with that guy?"

"Ah, I just know how to surround myself with beauty," she said smiling widely and winking at me. _Hmmm, she didn't really answer the question._

The sun had gone down at this point, making the patio a bit chilly. We took our glasses and went back up to our room. Serena joined us. She and Nicki sat on the beds while I sat in a chair looking at my wine glass. _Uh oh, here it comes._

"So tell us what happened," Nicole said softly, looking at me.

"Didn't Angela tell you?" I said quickly, hoping to dodge this question on my first night.

"All she said was that you had just moved in with him and he left one day. You woke up alone and there was a small note. Did you have a fight?"

Could I even begin to tell this without losing it? Only Angela knew what he was and clearly she'd kept that secret from them. Serena and Nicole were not into the weird otherworldly stuff so I'd only mentioned that we were dating and eventually engaged. I didn't think I could get into it all just now. I wanted to escape, not relive it.

"Hey, I came here to get away, not remember, okay?"

They were silent. Finally, Nicki spoke. "It might help you to let go…"

I sighed and looked down at the glass of wine in my hands. "Okay, I'll give you TheMovieSpoiler-dotcom 'Cut to the Chase' version: Girl meets boy. Girl and boy fall in love and get engaged. Girl and boy are very sexually active. Girl stupidly gets pregnant and then loses the baby. Girl and boy go back to normal. Boy disappears one night leaving a crappy note." I knew it wasn't fair to leave out the key part about being a vampire and the restraint he had shown during our time together, but I wasn't feeling particularly charitable toward Mr. Cullen at the time.

I looked back up at them. _Yep, that was the reaction I was expecting._ Both of them were staring at me with sadness and surprise in their eyes.

"What a MEAN FUCK!" Nicki shouted. Then she realized her volume in this small pensione. "Oops, sorry… but what the hell?"

"Do you know if something happened to him? Maybe he died," Serena suggested.

"I'm sure he didn't die." _Oh boy, am I sure of that._ "Anyway, that is the short version. I'm not sure I'm up for a longer story tonight, if you don't mind," I said, looking down at my wine glass again.

"Whenever you're ready," Nicole said. "What a shithead," she muttered.

I could see Serena from my peripheral vision as she took another sip of her wine. "If he didn't fucking die, I'll go and kill him for you."

I looked up at them both and smiled.

~#~

That night as Nicole and I slept in our individual twin beds, I had a strange dream. I was walking up a hill toward an incredible fortressed town. The cobblestones and buildings were medieval like San Gimignano, but it was a different town and it was drawing me to it.

I wandered around deserted cobblestone roads admiring the buildings and narrow streets and tried to find my way down to the center of town. Suddenly, I saw Marco in front of me. He stretched his hand out toward me. "Bella. Venga con me," he said in a low sultry voice. I was hypnotically drawn to him. And then a different voice came from behind me.

"Bella, don't you dare!" I whirled around to see Edward about ten feet away. His eyes were angry, looking at Marco and then at me.

I was instantly furious but I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. I turned back to go toward Marco, whose outstretched hand was still waiting for me. Then I felt Edward's arms around my waist, wrapping himself around me, his lips by my ear. "Bella," he growled, "You're mine." I could feel his lips and tongue on my neck and it felt so good, so familiar, so erotic. I could feel my body responding and I started leaning back into him, but when his hands started wandering up toward my breasts, I came to my senses.

I grabbed his hands and wrenched them off of me. "NO, Edward! You left me! You don't get to tell me what to do!" I whirled around and then slapped him in the face. He stared at me in shock and then I turned and ran to Marco.

I felt Edward's hand in mine, pulling me back toward him. "No! No, Edward!" I screamed.

Hands started shaking my shoulders. "Bella… Bella… you're okay. You're here…" I jolted upward in my bed. It was Nicki who'd been shaking me.

She was looking down at me. "You were moaning there for a minute. I thought I was going to have to borrow your iPod to drown it out," she said smiling softly, "but then you were shouting. I forgot how you talk in your sleep."

"Sorry. Bad dream. What time is it?" I asked.

"7:45."

"Oh, wow. Later than I expected. Um, I'll go get washed up. I need some coffee." I got up out of bed. "I'm sorry I woke you. Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

She started to crawl back into bed. "Are you kidding? You know me... I'll be asleep before you get in the shower."

While I showered, I dared to think about my dream for a few moments. I wasn't surprised to see him in it... the only difference was that he touched me in this one. Usually in my dreams he was walking away from me, never getting close. I chalked it up to the Marco influence and my conscious acknowledgment that he was an attractive man. That, in addition to having to recap my story to the girls.

I got ready and went downstairs to the dining room. Serena was down in the dining area in her corner table, looking all glamorous as usual. She had her typical Hermes scarf tossed casually around her neck and it looked great with her short-sleeved Anne Fontaine top, capri pants and ballerina flats. I joined her at the table as a different cook came out of the kitchen and set down a plate of eggs in front of her. "Cappuccino?" Serena asked me.

I nodded. "Bene," the cook said and she headed back to the kitchen.

"Where's Marco?" I asked.

"He does the dinners here. I have someone else for breakfast and I don't serve lunch."

"Where did you find him? He's a great cook… and completely beautiful, obviously!"

She took a sip of her coffee. "I have a knack for finding the right kind of help. You know that." She changed the subject. "So, any thoughts as to what you want to do this week? My assistant can run the place while we tour."

"Yeah, I thought about it a little on the plane. I'd love to go to Firenze and Siena. Oh, and I know it's cheesy, but I want to do Pisa. I have yet to get my picture with the Leaning Tower and I want one before they straighten it up some day."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay. Anything else? What about Montecatini Terme? Would Nicole like to see that?"

I shuddered at the thought of seeing another vampire zombie guy. The last thing this vampire magnet needed was to go to a vampire haven. "She might, but I'd prefer not to myself." The cook came out with my cappuccino and put it on the table. "Grazie." I said to her. I put a sugar cube in it, stirred it around and took a sip, watching her as she made her way over to serve a different table. I was reminded of Marco and my dream, and that's when I realized I recognized the town.

"Hey, what about that beautiful town we found last time? The one where we stopped in to have lunch? It was the first place I ever ate that wild boar dish. It had an amphitheater…"

"Right, I had Marco put it on the menu based on that original dish. You want to go there this week?" she asked slowly, peering at me over her coffee cup.

"Yes, I loved that place. What was it called?"

"Volterra." She put down her cup and sat up, leaning toward me. "Whatever you want BB. We're at your beck and call."

I sat back in my seat and sipped my coffee. _Volterra. Cool._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: As mentioned in the first story (AAVIC), there are no Volturi in my version. Thanks for staying with it - there will be more familiar faces in the next chapter. Please review.**

_Post A/N: After the original posting, a new reader from Italy helped with the Italian phrases. Thank you to AnnaLund for her help! _

_And, that crazy zombie-guy with the bandages around his neck... Seriously, when I saw him walking our way in real life, the first fleeting thought that ran through my twisted brain really was 'bitten by a vampire - hiding it.' LOL._


	10. A View to a Kill

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 10: A View to a Kill**

**APOV**

Superpowers aren't what they've cracked up to be… they can be a real burden.

My visions were unpredictable and often annoying. Who wants to see what I see? Who wants to be in the middle of a conversation or a project or making love with your partner and have what you were looking at disappear only to be replaced by something else entirely? People getting attacked. Other people having sex. People having emotional breakdowns.

And the images often left room for interpretation. I didn't get full movie scenes when the visions came, just a few seconds of visuals at a time and not necessarily in any coherent order. I had to rely on my intuition and experience to piece together what I believed was happening and when it would happen.

Frankly, it sucks.

"Five for Fighting" had it right with their "Superman" song lyrics. It's not easy to be me.

Despite the fact that I tried not to interfere to the extent that I could with Bella's and Edward's relationship, I was still tied very closely to their lives. I loved making my favorite brother happy, and Bella had brought him so much happiness. I truly loved her; she had quickly become a beloved sister to me over the time that she was with Edward. But sometimes I needed to overstep my bounds, and over the months that followed Bella's miscarriage, I found that I needed to intercede at least twice. Big time.

~#~

_(__One Month Before__)_

My designs for Bella's wedding dress were going well. I had a few concepts that I hoped she'd like. She had said nothing fancy, just simple. Right. Well simple could be the A-line of the dress, but beautiful custom beading would make the dress elegant and special.

I worked the touch screen on my computer and then suddenly the screen disappeared from my view. I heard it before I saw it. Edward's voice chanting: 'Mine, mine, mine.' And then the fog cleared as I saw Edward and Bella in a very naked state and Edward was clinging on to her neck. Bella did not look conscious.

I jumped up from my seat, my hands moving from the computer screen to knock over the vase of flowers that were on the desk next to me.

"Alice!" Jazz was at my side instantly.

"Edward!" I cried. "He's going to kill her!"

The rest of the family had joined us. Carlisle spoke first. "Who's killing whom?"

"Edward is losing control with Bella!"

I grabbed my cell phone trying to reach him. The phone just went into voicemail.

"Carlisle," Esme said, "see if you can reach him through the computer!"

Carlisle ghosted to his study. I could hear him calling to Edward. "Edward? Edward, are you there? Son, come back! Remember who you are! Remember who she is!"

Everyone disappeared from view as my visions began again, shifting rapidly. Edward's eyes widening and then his body jumping back from the bed, his face contorting in horror as he realized his actions. Then the visions went faster. Edward giving her his blood. Edward writing a note. Edward scrambling about his house. I saw him take his computer, her ring, the pendant… and then he left.

"Oh no!" I cried.

"What Alice?" Rosalie asked, reaching for my arm. "Is she okay?"

"He gives her his blood to replenish her, but I think he knows that it will set him off more."

"Does he turn her?" Jasper asked.

"No. He… just leaves," I replied.

"But why?" Emmett grabbed my phone and dialed him again. Voicemail again.

"He gets rid of his phone," I said. "But he has his laptop. We can try him there but he won't answer. He'll be driving for a while."

"Where is he going?" Esme asked.

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't think he knows himself. I think he'll just be driving."

"What do we do?" Rosalie asked. "Bella will call here once she wakes. You know she will."

"What do we tell her?" Emmett asked.

"What can we tell her? We don't know much more than she does," Jasper replied.

"What a bastard!" Rosalie said. "What the hell is he doing?"

Carlisle was the voice of reason. "We shouldn't just jump to conclusions. It sounds like he lost control. If I know him, he decided to remove the danger from her life… himself."

We kept hoping to reach him but he was on a road to nowhere. He had no destination other than leaving her far behind, and with his computer off, we couldn't speak to him.

We waited in silence, all worried about the call that was about to come. As expected, it came a few hours later. I answered it.

"Hi, Bella," I answered gently.

"Alice," she said. Her voice was empty and flat. "Edward left me a note… saying goodbye. Did I do something wrong?"

Poor Bella. Naturally she'd put the blame on herself. I was silent for a moment. "Of course you didn't, Bella…What do you remember, sweetie?"

She paused, thinking about it. "He bit me, Alice. Twice. He's never done that before. Then I blacked out until I woke up a little while ago."

I stayed quiet. I didn't know how to comfort her and I knew she would know the truth no matter what I said.

"He's gone for good, isn't he?" she asked in a small voice.

"I don't know, Bella," I said quickly.

"Yes you do, Alice…" she responded quietly.

My heart felt like it was breaking. "Oh, Bella! Do you need me to come there?

"No, thanks…" she said, her voice fading off before hanging up.

I looked around at my family, all of them staring back at me with wide sad eyes. Rosalie spoke first. "What do we do? Do we go to her?"

"That might hurt her more. It might be too painful," Esme said.

"She's going to need someone to help her, though," Jasper whispered. "Her bond to Edward is as strong as his is… was… to her."

Carlisle spoke. "I believe his bond is still strong and that's the problem. But we won't know until we talk with him…" he said, shaking his head.

My mind was clinging to the word 'help.' Help for Bella. She needed a friend now. Not her parents, but a friend. _Who? Friend. Who?_ Then a name floated through my brain. Angela. I'd heard of Angela before. One of her best friends from her old job.

But what was Angela's last name? Where was Angela? I concentrated, calling up anything I could think of to see if I could get a handle on this friend, and then through the haze, I had another quick vision.

Edward and Tanya walking down the street, arm in arm. A young woman was standing in front of them with wide angry eyes. Edward introducing them. "Tanya, this is Angela Weber… one of Bella's best friends."

I scanned the scene before it disappeared. The Ferry Building was behind Angela. Embarcadero Four was behind Edward and Tanya. They were in San Francisco.

I called directory assistance and found Angela's home number. It was awfully early there but Bella needed her help and soon. No one answered and so I left a message. "This is Alice Cullen. I'm Edward's sister. Angela, please call me as soon as you get this message. It's important. It's about Bella." I left my number and hung up.

Later that day, Angela called me back. She was away and had retrieved her messages.

"Angela, Edward has disappeared."

"What do you mean _disappeared_?" she asked warily. "How could he just disappear?"

"We don't know what happened just yet. But… it looks like he left Bella. Our guess is that he did it to protect her… We can't reach him because he dumped his phone and his computer isn't on yet."

Angela was silent for a moment. "Son of a bitch," she muttered. "Got it. I won't be back until tomorrow but I'm on the first flight out the next day." She paused and her voice softened. "Thanks Alice."

~#~

_(Two weeks later)_

My visions alerted me to Edward's impending call. He had been wavering for a while, wanting to call us and backing off. As he traveled from Shannon, his resolve solidified and I knew that Edward was going to get in touch soon. As a result, Carlisle gathered the family together around the 'dining room' table for a pow-wow.

"You know that when Edward calls, he's going to tell us to stay away from Bella..." Carlisle began.

"The fact that Bella hasn't been in touch indicates that she wants the same. Look how she just sent back the money and the house keys with not a glimmer of feeling in her note," Emmett said bitterly.

"Give her a break, Em. Edward had just left her a few days before. I'm sure she was still numb!" Rosalie answered.

"It's only been two weeks, Emmett… I believe Bella is really hurting," Esme said softly.

"She is," Jasper agreed. "But she deals with things in her Bella way. You know how she retreats into herself when she needs to hide."

"Do you think she'll ever speak to us again? I really miss the kid," Emmett said.

"If Edward stays away as he is planning, I don't think so," I said.

"Man, that's cold," he muttered.

Jasper shook his head. "No, Em, that's a protection mechanism. Her bond to him… well it was just as strong as his was to her."

"Wait. If you felt they had that strong of a bond, are you saying she'll never end up with someone? She'll die alone?" Rosalie asked.

"No, she may end up with someone… but it won't compare," Jasper said sadly. "She'll love him, but never to the extent that she was in love with Edward." He paused. "It really is a shame. Look at the control she has and her bizarre pull toward vampires. Aside from the fact that her heart still beats, the girl was born to be one of us."

Emmett threw his hands in the air. "Isn't this ridiculous then? She's meant to be one of us. He'll be forever in love with her and she with him. Seems like the answer is obvious."

"Edward is too stubborn for his own good," Rosalie said bitterly. "Can't we talk some sense into him?"

Carlisle shook his head. "I think we must stay out of it."

Esme looked at him. "But we've already interfered when Alice sent Angela."

"I don't think he needs to know about that," Rosalie answered.

"Are you saying we should lie to him?" Esme asked.

"I don't think we owe him an explanation," Rose retorted bitterly. "Screw him."

At that moment the computer chimed. Rosalie jumped up. "I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind…"

~#~

As expected, Edward believed that what he was doing what was best for Bella and he asked me to promise not to look for her in my visions, so I agreed to his request. However, just because I'm not looking doesn't mean that I don't see them… and I never promised that I wouldn't interfere under those circumstances.

Two weeks after Edward's call, I was watching Jasper and Emmett play a monster chess game when they once again disappeared from view, replaced by one of my God damned visions. This one was much worse.

Bella walking down a cobblestone road, looking at a map, late afternoon based on the angle of the shadows from the buildings. Two real shadows following her movements. Bella realizing that she went the wrong way and turning back. The two now blocking her path. A man's smooth voice asking, "Are you lost, bella?" Bella's eyes wide as she took them in. A third shadow appearing behind the two. Bella walking toward that third person slowly, her hand outstretched.

The vision swirled and became more frantic. Bella saying, "You're a vampire." Bella running down another narrow cobblestone road. Bella yelling out, "Go find Serena and Nicole and get them out of here!" Bella's body slamming against a wall and then crumpling to the ground. Bella's body thrown again, this time landing against a large metal garbage dumpster. Bella doubled over in pain as the two start walking toward her. Bella's bruised face looking up at them, her eyes looking nervous at first and then seeming resigned to what would happen. The two coming closer to her…

"Bella!" I screamed.

Jasper and Emmett were standing now and everyone else ghosted around me.

"Alice! Now what happened?" Jasper asked.

"Another vision about Bella. It's bad!" I cried.

Where was she? I tried to recall the images and let my mind flow. The man's question: "Are you lost, bella?" The question, the question. The accent. He wasn't saying her name, he was calling her beautiful. Italy.

Then Bella yelling out, "Go find Serena and Nicole and get them out of here!" Serena and Nicole… Serena and Nicole. I had no context for this. I pushed into my mind with those names: Serena, Nicole and Bella. Then an image of three women started to form. Bella in a car driving, an Indian woman next to her in the passenger seat, and another dark-haired woman in the back seat reading. The Indian woman saying, "Mr. Darcy. He's my leading man." Bella looking straight ahead, "No, Captain Wentworth for sure." The Indian woman speaking. "Okay, we're here: Volterra. Just like you remember it, BB."

My heart sunk. Volterra. Of course she'd end up there.

"She's in Italy. In Volterra," I said flatly.

Emmett groaned. "What the hell? Can't she stay away from trouble? The girl really is a fucking vampire magnet."

"She doesn't know what Volterra is. Edward never told her about it. She's been there before with her friends."

"Should we just let it happen, Alice? Edward asked us not to interfere," Carlisle said softly.

The visions started spinning again and they were terrible. Bella's crushed body lay against the garbage dumpster, the bruises already evident. Two vampires moving in slowly, coming at her from different angles. Razor sharp teeth biting into her wrist. Bella writhing and screaming in pain as they toyed with her, letting her feel the venom in her body. The two pouncing on her, taking her from different parts of her body. Finally, Bella's battered and drained body dead in the dumpster.

"Oh, Bella!" I cried out.

And then the vision swirled to a different place. I was back along the Embarcadero in San Francisco. Tanya and Edward standing in front of Angela. Angela running up to Edward and shoving him in the chest. "Bella is dead!" Edward grabbing Angela by the wrist. Angela bitterly hissing at him, "Asshole! She still had your damn mark on her!"

Edward crumpling to his knees in the middle of the sidewalk. Edward's face contorting in pain and his eyes wildly looking around and then covering his face with his hands. Edward looking up at the sky, dark tears coming from his eyes, howling at the top of his lungs; the pedestrians nearby stopping in their tracks and backing away from his anguished screams. Edward jumping up, running down the street away from both Tanya and Angela.

And the vision swirled once more. Edward at an airport, buying a ticket to Hong Kong. Edward causing a lot of trouble for one of the worst vampire gangs there. Edward being captured by three gang members and brought to a dark warehouse. Edward being ripped apart, a small smile on his face right before his head is ripped from his body. The gangs taking his parts and then burning them.

I gasped and fell to my knees. "If we let it happen to Bella, they'll both die."

"What? How?" Jasper asked, kneeling with me to hold me.

"Edward will go to Hong Kong and get the gangs to kill him."

"But if we know that, we can go and stop him! There's no way we'd let those gangs hurt him!" Emmett growled.

"You know that the minute he hears us near him, he'll go somewhere else and find someone to do it for him. He's resolved. He won't live knowing that she's dead."

"No! We can't let that happen to either of them!" Esme choked out.

Rosalie looked at Carlisle. "I'm tired of listening to that moron. Screw Edward and his rules." She looked back at me. "Are we too late, Alice?"

The possibility of our help spun out a new set of images. The first part was the same.

The cobblestone road, the map, late afternoon. The shadows following her. Bella turning back and finding her path blocked. The man speaking to her, trying to lure her. Bella walking toward the third shadow. Bella running and shouting. Bella's body being battered and thrown around. Bella's bruised face looking up at them.

And then new images appeared. Bella and the two shadows looking off to the left of the image. Rosalie and Emmett appearing. "Hands off. She is protected by our coven." Two new vampires appearing behind them.

"Two alone won't be enough," I said in my haze.

The image changed with my statement. Jasper and Carlisle appearing behind the two nearest to Bella. The one closest to Bella grabbing her wrist and biting. Bella writhing in pain. Another shadow appearing near Rosalie and Emmett. A blur of fighting. Carlisle and Jasper bending over Bella's body. Bella being carried away.

"No, we're not too late, but we'd better hurry. She'll be there in a few days. We'll have to go in force. At least four of us. Carlisle and Jasper, you two for sure. She'll need a doctor and if they bite her before we can get to her you're the only one who can help her, Carlisle. And Jazz, you'll need to keep her calm. Rose and Em, you're there too. Esme, I didn't see you but I know there will be at least four of them.

"Then let's all go. Anything to keep Bella and Edward safe." Esme said. "I'll go get the tickets. Pack up everyone. We're heading out tomorrow."

Everyone broke and began to get ready for the trip. I stayed where I was as a new vision started spinning based on the decisions we'd just made. I quickly saw a new possible future... one that was actually quite surprising... and one that absolutely needed to happen. As each image flashed through my head, I could see every step, every action that each player would have to make in order for these events to occur. And at that moment, I firmly agreed with Rosalie: Screw Edward and his rules. I was going to interfere. I'd speak to Jasper later in private.

I picked up the phone and started dialing.

A deepening voice answered. "Hello?"

"Seth! It is Alice Cullen. Hey sweetie, I need your help..."

* * *

**A/N: Instant gratification - another chapter immediately after last night's post. Alice and the Cullens to the rescue!**

**OKAY:**

**So, many of you are anxious to see B&E back together... And as you can see, I'm as much for instant gratification as the next person out there, which is why I decided to post the next one so soon. **

**But patience, please. As I said a few chapters ago, she has to be on her own for this to unfold the way it needs to. They will see each other again. And as I've told many of you who've asked, she'll be a little pissed off by then. You know her temper (tee hee hee). This girl is not the 'I'm-so-unworthy-of-you-Edward' Bella that we had in New Moon.**

**I hope that you stick with it... heck, if you stuck with the whole Edward disappears part from New Moon, you can last a bunch 'o chapters here - my chapters are shorter! (LOL) And thanks to those of you who have put this on their favorite story list in the middle of these 'alone' chapters, even though I plan to torture us all waiting for the reunion...**

**Please leave feedback… it makes me happy to know people actually read it!**


	11. Live Like You Were Dying

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE. **

**Also, a shout out to The Lost Boys at the end of this chapter.**

**

* * *

Chapter 11: Live Like You Were Dying**

**BPOV**

Tim McGraw has this song called Live Like You Were Dying. It is about a guy who realizes that he has cancer and has only so long left to live… so in the time that he has left, he does all the things he should have done and becomes the man he should have been.

I secretly loved this song… and I only used to listen to it on my iPod when I knew that no one else was around to see or hear me for a number of reasons:

A) It was a country song… and sorry but I took a crapload of ribbing for anything country-related, including my old pick-up truck that I used to drive when I was in high school, from my three city-born and bred girlfriends,

B) I liked to sing it at the top of my lungs, and that was something no one should ever have to hear, and

C) It actually cracked my Vulcan exterior and made me cry when I heard it… and there was no way in hell I was going to let anyone see that.

Nevertheless, I was a firm believer in this philosophy, long before his song came out. It was part of the reason I took trapeze and karate and tap dancing and free-form dancing and ice skating lessons. I didn't want to look back on my life and regret not having tried to do stupid, silly things even if I sucked at them.

Moreover, I really held to this philosophy whenever I went on vacation. Aside from a trip to Bermuda and a trip to Mexico, most of my vacations were typically active city vacations. I felt that I never knew if I would have the opportunity to be in that city or country again and that I should see everything I could in the short time that I was allowed. At some point, I'm sure I'd have to see a psychiatrist and this philosophy would probably come up. The shrink would probably point out some odd notion like the thought of death kept me alive. What would he say about my bizarre vampire attraction? _Well, my ex-boyfriend was technically not alive…_ It would probably take years of therapy to work out that one.

And so, because they were trying to get me out of my funk, Serena and Nicole let me set the pace and pick the spots for our daily activities. So I never stopped. I was like a shark… sharks had to keep moving or they'd die. _Hmmm, again with the death thing. _

Serena was used to this vacation pace. I'd dragged her sorry butt all around Italy the last time we were here together three years before and I had caused her to get heat exhaustion trekking around Santorini one time to the point that she actually needed medical attention. But poor Nicole! I wore her out. I let her sleep in until 8:30 a.m. each day – that was late for me – and got her up to make sure she got breakfast before we started out each day.

We went to Florence on the first day and we did every darned tourist thing that one could do. Saw the Duomo. Took in the view of the city from the Belvedere… it looked just like Hannibal Lecter's drawing in "The Silence of the Lambs" – yes I watch too many damn movies and remember them all. We went to the Ponte Vecchio. We went to Palazzo Pitti and the Boboli Gardens. We spent time ogling Michelangelo's David at Galleria dell' Accademia - and I do mean "ogling" him. Serena stopped at the Ferragamo store and picked up another four pairs of shoes. Nicki and I purchased beautiful leather jackets and matching leather gloves… NOT from Ferragamo. That night at dinner, Nicki could barely keep her eyes open to ogle Serena's kitchen version of The David: Marco.

The next day, we drove to Siena and spent time wandering the city. I loved towns like these, with busy streets and then quiet ones, Gothic architecture, brick buildings, and main plazas just for sitting. I left Serena and Nicki to sit having beverages around the Piazza del Campo while I wandered around. Luckily, we were visiting about a month or two before the crazy Palio horse race took over the town.

Serena and I took turns driving, depending upon how much there was to do at the destination and if we wanted to make it there that day. On the third day I did the driving because I wanted to hit two spots: Lucca and Pisa. Serena sat in the passenger seat while Nicole sat in back re-reading Pride and Prejudice.

"Which of Jane Austen's leading men do you think is the best?" Nicki asked.

Serena looked back at her. "Mr. Darcy. He's my leading man."

Nicole nodded. "Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy… Shit, was he good looking! But I have to say that I love Edward Ferrars in Sense and Sensibility. And Hugh Grant playing the role? Drool!"

"Oh my God, yes!" I breathed. "I hadn't read the book when I saw the movie and that scene when he shows up at the end and declares himself to Elinor… when she burst into tears, so did I! I didn't know how he felt so I was as clueless as she was. It came out of nowhere. I wasn't even choked up! Just instant tears!"

Nicole sat up. "You, Bella? You cried at a movie?" She laughed. "You gave me such shit during Freshman week about crying during a movie." She looked at Serena. "Freshman week, they showed some sappy movie and she muttered that she hoped people didn't cry because she hated people crying at the movies. Because I was trying to make a good first impression I had to furtively wipe my tears as I sat in the seat next to her."

"Yes, and I'd still give you shit about it. As I said, it came out of nowhere in this movie! That never happens to me."

It was quiet for a moment and Nicki spoke again. "Have you cried about your Edward yet?" she asked softly.

My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. Serena turned back to Nicki and growled at her. "Jesus, can't you wait until she's not driving so you don't get us all killed? What kind of question is that to spring on her?"

I took a breath. "No, it's okay Serena. Nicki knows me, and she knows the answer to that question. She's just verifying it," I said, looking back at her in the rearview mirror. I shook my head no.

"At some point you have to let it out, Bella."

"I'm not holding it in. It will just happen when it happens."

"Something will make you crack," Nicki said, "and when that happens, look out. It will be Like Water For Chocolate tears. Scary."

I looked at her in the mirror. She squeezed my shoulder.

"Just don't let it happen when you're driving with me in the car," Serena muttered, and then we all started laughing.

"Anyway, I think my pick is Captain Wentworth from Persuasion," I said when the laughter died down.

Nicki looked surprised. "You're kidding."

"No, Captain Wentworth for sure. He fell in love with Anne and never forgot her over all those years. He's all jealous of the other guy. And then he overhears her conversation with his friend and then he's waiting out there on the street for her. The movie version with Ciaran Hinds wasn't as glamorous as the other adaptations, but, ah, I love him. That's devotion."

We hit Lucca first and spent a great deal of time walking on top of the main ring that circled the city. It was a lovely walk with trees and benches and old men playing bocce ball, tipping their hats to us as we walked by. After spending a bit of time wandering around town, we made our way southwest down to Pisa. Serena rolled her eyes at us, but I made her take the photos anyway because I did one of those never-want-to-regret-not-doing-it things with Nicole trying to hold up the tower and me trying to Karate kick it down.

When we returned, Marco cooked another fabulous meal for us. He came out each night to see how we enjoyed the food. I had the feeling that he and Serena were involved but I hadn't had enough alone time with her to ask. Each time he came out, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was assessing something when he looked at me. I wanted to chalk it up to possible pillow talk between him and Serena and not that I had some weird attraction to him, or him to me. I could totally acknowledge the guy was beautiful… but Johnny Depp could leave his girlfriend and declare himself to me and I still wouldn't be ready for it. Unfortunately, my heart was gone.

On the fourth day, we went to Volterra. I decided to give Nicki a break and let her sleep in so we didn't leave until lunch time. I drove again, although it wasn't that far. Serena directed me and as we pulled into view of the beautiful hill town, Serena spoke. "Okay, we're here: Volterra. Just like you remember it, BB."

It was just like my dream. We parked outside the city and made our way up a cobblestone path into the city, wandering around and taking photos of the lovely streets. We stopped and had a long relaxing lunch and then we decided to split up to take in what we each wanted to see. Serena wanted to check out the alabaster and Nicole wanted to see the Roman amphitheater. I wanted to wander around the little streets taking more photos and searching for that one restaurant Serena and I had eaten in so many years ago. We agreed to meet up at the Piazza dei Priori later at 5 p.m.

I wandered up and down the narrow streets, wishing I had Serena's eye for photography. Many of the photos around her pensione were ones she had taken when we were on vacation. A rusty fence became a blurry barrier to a beautiful flower garden; a little figurine on a shelf in a window became an enchanted statue. She even had an eye for people… I passed an attractive man and woman leaning against a wall, looking at me for a moment before turning their gaze back to each other; to me they were just a man and a woman, but Serena's photography could make them into lost lovers stealing a moment alone. She really had an eye for beauty. I just had photos.

As I looked at my map, I noticed I had taken a wrong turn heading in a direction toward the edge of town rather than back toward the center. So I turned around and saw that same man and woman standing in my path. I went to pass them, but they stepped in front of me. If I went left, the man went to his right, mirroring me.

"Scusi," I said, looking down at his feet, trying to get around him.

The man spoke softly in accented English, "Are you lost, bella?"

My head snapped up. _How did he know my name?_ Then I realized he was just speaking in Italian. 'Are you lost, beautiful?'

"No," I said, gesturing that I wanted to pass.

"Dove va?" the woman asked.

I pointed to the road behind them. "Per favore."

The two of them continued to look at me. They stood like statues. Suddenly I heard a voice from behind them.

"Bella, venga con me." I looked behind the man and woman as they turned to see who was speaking. I had a big ole sense of déjà vu when I saw that it was Marco. I looked behind me for a moment to see if by any chance Edward was there. He wasn't.

The man and woman stiffened and let me pass, but I could swear that I felt each of them inhale as I walked by. _Déjà vu indeed. Don't even tell me._

I walked slowly toward him, like I was just out for a leisurely stroll and not someone who wanted to bolt. And then I put my hand into Marco's outstretched, cool hand. _Oh, you've got to be kidding. _We strolled away calmly.

When we were a few streets away, I stopped and looked at him. "Marco, what are you doing here?"

"Serena said that you were coming to Volterra. I came to watch for you," he said in his beautiful voice with his beautiful Italian accent. "You should not be here, Bella."

"Why? I've been here before and didn't have a problem."

His eyes were gentle. "You have un segno... a mark. You have been with a vampire, no?

Ah, yes. The last time I was here was before I knew Edward and I'd only visited for a few hours back then. It had been a month since Edward left which meant the bite marks should not have been visible… not to human eyes. Hence the cool hands. "You're a vampire."

He nodded. "Si."

"Does Serena know?"

He raised an eyebrow. Of course Serena knew. Leave it to her to find the hottest Italian civilized vampire and make him her cook!

"You are being followed. Those two will follow you still. You must leave the city."

"But what about Serena and Nicole? We have to get them… they won't be safe."

"Serena has my mark on her." _Nice work, Serena._ "It is fresh; she will be safe… and I know where she is. But your mark is old. You look abandoned."

I stiffened. _Yeah, I'll bet I do. _"I was abandoned, Marco."

He touched my face. "I know that you think so... Ma non credo che sia tutto finito. It is not finished." I looked at him, confused. "I have a gift. I see bonds. It is like una corda - rope - between people. You have a very long rope attached to you… it is faint… but it is there."

"That is my attachment to him…" I began.

"No, it is not one way. The rope is tight as if it were being pulled from both directions."

I shook my head. _Rope... Jeez!_ I didn't need to hear this and start hoping. "He's gone," I stated. "I'll start back to the car. It's just down that road," I said, pointing in the opposite direction from where we had been. "Please go get them."

"You should not be alone."

The truth was that part of me was tired of fighting the inevitable. Clearly my number kept coming up and someone kept stopping it from happening. I just wanted my friends to be safe and not pay for my mistakes. If it was my time, maybe I needed to accept it. "I'll be okay. I'll run there now. You can keep an eye out for them."

He paused and then started running down toward the Piazza. I jogged in the opposite direction when the man and the woman ghosted out ahead of me.

"Bella!" Marco called. I looked back at him. "Go find Serena and Nicole and get them out of here!" I shouted.

Suddenly, I was pulled down a side street. The woman had me by my shirt. "Where is your master?" she asked in a slight accent.

"He is traveling," I answered.

"No one leaves their pet like this," the man said smoothly. "E vero, Heidi?" He moved my hair from my neck and leaned in to sniff me. "Mmmm, deliziosa!" Instinctively, I slapped his hand away from my neck.

Heidi snarled. "How dare you touch him!" She grabbed me by my arms and threw me across the alley into a wall. My whole body felt the jolt and the horrible pain as I slid to the ground. I groaned loudly as I tried to sit up.

"My friend will be back and he'll bring others to help," I said weakly. "You should leave before it is too late for you."

Heidi gestured to the man to get me up. "Santiago…"

Santiago lifted me up by my biceps and brought his face toward mine. "We will be finished before he returns."

My head was still buzzing and for some reason I thought stalling would help. "Why me? There are plenty of tourists out there for you to have."

"Il sangue è dolce... sweet… and different from others. We smelled it when you came to town."

_What's up with these Italian vampires? What about the energy thing?_ "But I'm not afraid. Doesn't that matter to you?"

"But you will be," he said. "You will be." And then I felt myself flying again. This time I slammed into something sharp and metal. I heard myself yell out in pain as I hit the corner of the dumpster and collapsed again to the ground. I'd hit my lower rib cage and belly pretty hard. I was pretty sure that something was broken.

They started to walk toward me slowly. Now I was afraid and in a LOT of pain. Heidi licked her lips and knelt over me, touching my face with her hand. "Ah, bella donna. It will end... presto." _Ah, maybe that is good... soon is better than prolonged._

Then a familiar voice came from our left. "Hands off! She is protected by our coven." We all looked to see the source. _Am I unconscious? Is this a dream?_ Rosalie and Emmett were standing about 20 feet away.

Santiago stepped forward and crouched low, growling at them. "Neither of you is her master. Let him step forth and claim her."

I felt dizzy and my stomach was really in pain. If they needed to see this master of mine, I was a goner. I didn't know what bullshit Marco was trying to sell me, but I knew the bond was severed from Edward's side.

Emmett took a step forward. "He is traveling. We are here to protect her."

Two other shadows appeared behind Em and Rose. They were outnumbered. I prayed. _God, please don't let me be the cause of their deaths. Just take me._

"You should go. You have no chance," Heidi said, nodding at her companions.

"Hello," came another familiar voice to my right. Carlisle and Jasper were at the intersection between this alley and the street.

"It would be best if you let the girl go," Jasper said.

Heidi smiled and touched my face again. "Your coven came to protect their snack. That is nice."

And then without warning she took my forearm to her mouth and bit in.

I screamed out and was met with another like scream. "Bella!" I could see from my slumped position on the ground that Marco was standing on the main road with Serena and Nicole who were wide eyed taking it all in. It was Serena's cry.

And then all hell broke loose. What I remember was fuzzy because of the raging headache and overall pain I had from slamming into things.

Esme appeared beside Serena and Nicki and Marco asked her to take them. I saw her whisk them away somewhere to the right. Alice appeared and lunged after Heidi and the two began a vicious blurry dance. Marco got into the fight, taking on Santiago, the two ripping and snarling at each other.

To my left, Rose and Em had turned on the vampires behind them and Carlisle and Jasper joined in where they could in all fights to help get the upper hand. The snarling and ripping started to fade for me as I became aware of a painful sensation in my arm. It was warm at first, and then it began to get hotter and hotter until I felt like my arm was being held over a raging fire. I heard yelling and realized that it was coming from me.

Esme appeared and stepped in for Jasper. Then I saw Jasper and Carlisle hovering over me. Carlisle gently touched my stomach which only caused me to yell out some more.

"Her ribs are broken and I believe that she is bleeding internally," he said looking at Jasper. He looked at me and touched my forehead. "Bella. I could let the venom spread if you'd like. You'll heal that way."

_Become a vampire? Without Edward? Is he joking?_ I had only wanted to be one to be with him. What was the point of one existence without him, let alone eternity? I managed to make eye contact. "No…" I moaned. "Just drain me and get it over with."

Jasper spoke softly, sending a peaceful wave over me. "No, Bella. It isn't your time yet. Please don't say that. He still loves you."

I didn't want to hear it. "Yeah? Where is he, Jazz?" I spat out amidst my pain. Weird thoughts passed through my head in my agonized state. _I HAVE to live it up each day because every time I turn around a vampire tries to kill me! _"Fucking Tim McGraw..." I groaned. Jasper looked confused. "Oh SHIT," I cursed. "PLEASE, make it stop somehow!"

The growling and ripping was subsiding and the fire in my arm was horrible. I could hear Carlisle and Jasper speaking softly.

"Jasper, we have to do two things. I can suck the venom out because I know it will be difficult for any of you, but she needs a little blood. Can you help her?"

I didn't hear an answer but I guess it was in the affirmative. Carlisle's mouth was on my forearm and I could feel him sucking on me, almost like one would to give a hickey. The pain in my arm subsided, only to make me acutely aware of the pain I felt everywhere else, particularly my stomach and ribs.

Then I saw Jasper's forearm hovered over my mouth, his open wound dripping his dark blood down. He pressed it to my lips and his eyes met mine. Touching my forehead, he nodded and said "Drink Bella. Heal." I drank slowly. His blood tasted so different from Edward's… good, but different and not as sweet. While I took it in, I wondered if I could just be an honorary vampire at this point with the amount of blood I was taking in from them... Then we wouldn't have to bother with the turning part.

I saw Marco's face looking over Jasper's shoulder. I didn't need very much blood and I could feel it working instantly. I felt the familiar rapid and painful tightening inside my belly and ribs as my body healed. Jasper pulled his forearm away and nodded to Marco, who then picked me up and whisked me off down the street.

He entered a hotel two doors down and we made our way to a room on the third floor. Stepping into the room, he quickly moved to put me down on the couch. Serena and Nicole gasped as he came in with me.

"I think it would be best to get Bella out of Volterra before any their friends come looking for her," he said.

Serena nodded. "I'll take Bella and Nicole back to the pensione."

"Wait!" I cried. "What about them? Carlisle, Jasper…"

"I will guide them back to San Gimignano. I will bring them to the pensione." Marco looked at me. "I think you need help to the car." And with that, he picked me up again and carried me down the street until we were out of the city walls and at Serena's car. Once inside, Serena-Leadfoot floored it.

Nicole was wide eyed. Finally she spoke. "Um, can I just ask… WHAT THE FUCK?!! What just happened?"

Serena shook her head. "That's the one thing I never could stomach about Volterra. All the God damned vampires."

* * *

**A/N: The Cullens save the day once again!**

**Thanks again to AnnaLund for her help with the Italian phrase clean-up! **

**Thanks for reading so far. And THANK YOU for the reviews. Please keep it up! More reviews! **

**FYI - For Marco, I was totally imagining Gilles Marini (Dancing with the Stars runner up/Naked Neighbor in the SITC movie) as this guy... Swoo - oon. I know... NOT Italian, but who cares!**

_Post A/N: So, um, Vampyre... are you sure you don't want to go to Italy? With vamps like Marco running around there, I'd consider it... And since I seem to run into weird characters in real life, we might actually find him. Feel free to send me a PM to discuss. LOL. _


	12. Roam If You Want To

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 12: Roam If You Want To**

**EPOV **

After two weeks in St. Petersburg, I felt that I should do something other than lie in a ball in the corner of the room. I'd love to tell you that I quickly became a productive, useful member of society… but you should know me by now. Bella had made me whole and now I was in pieces, despite my outward appearance to the world. I was a fucking mess. I craved familiarity but still needed distance and separation from anything that would remind me of her.

So I went to Egypt. In the past, I used to love to go to Egypt just to immerse myself in its rich culture and long history, but I found no joy in being there as I once did.

While there, I sought out another of our family acquaintances, the Egyptian coven: Amun and his partner Kebi, and Amun's protégé – for lack of a better term – Benjamin and his partner Tia. Benjamin had a fascinating gift more powerful than mine. I could manipulate energy: Benjamin could manipulate the elements. While he and I spent time discussing the usefulness of this gift and how/whether this could be used to help ease global warming, Amun's thoughts centered more on how this power could be used for other purposes. Luckily, young Benjamin was strong and I could tell that he would not allow himself to be manipulated. I found myself really comforted by the thought that good still existed in this world in many forms.

And he motivated me to get back out there and try to do something useful with my time. I signed up for a Habitat for Humanity project there in Egypt and threw myself into the work. I was able to outlast any of my co-workers, obviously, and put in long hours to complete the construction projects. From there, I moved on to other such projects in Zambia, Botswana and South Africa. Each project lasted a week at a time and so I was able to fill up the next two months easily.

Well, I only filled up the days. The nights were still empty and so lonely. I tried to stay away from the photos and was thankful for the times when I had no access to electricity and my computer battery died. It gave me a reprieve from torturing myself. Every time I went to delete the photos, I vowed that I'd only look at them once more and then delete the next time. 3,857 views later, I still hadn't gotten rid of them.

I didn't call my family during that time period. Even they reminded me of her. They wanted me to be with her. They'd never seen me so happy… and the truth was that I never had been as happy before and wasn't sure if I could be again. That realization hurt. My body and soul craved her… craved the emotional connection that I had allowed myself to have with her. It craved the physical contact of having her near me, on top of me, below me. And it craved her blood. That hadn't gone away.

So I forced myself to stay in isolation during those two months, but I felt like I needed a drastic change. I began to wonder if I could go back to my old ways and allow myself physical contact with someone, knowing that it would never compare to the complete relationship I had had with her. Could I do it? Could I live the life I once knew?

And so I found myself in San Francisco. I needed to know.

As I stood outside one of the Victorian 'Painted Ladies' houses on Steiner Street, I hesitated briefly. Could I? Should I? I took a breath and strengthened my resolve, then I knocked on the door.

Irina answered. _Would you look at what the cat dragged in._ She shook her head. "Edward."

I nodded. "Hello, Irina." She gestured me inside.

_You sure did a number on Tanya up in Denali last year. Are you here to screw her up some more?_

I didn't understand the statement. _Screw her up __some more__? What did I do?_ "Excuse me?"

She changed the subject. "Haven't heard from James in a while," she said, closing the door after me. "Would you know anything about that?" I stayed silent.

Tanya walked into the living room. Her eyes were wide… and puzzled. "Hello Edward." She looked around. "Where's Bella?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about her, Tanya."

She stood like a statue, looking me over. I could hear her thoughts and was surprised by the tenor of them. _Doesn't want to talk about her and is standing here in my living room. Huh. Not sure this is a good thing._

She wavered for a moment and then made up her mind, taking me by the hand and leading me to her bedroom. She closed the door and moved me to sit on her bed. I moved back, sitting up against the headboard. I looked at her as she sat down next to me.

_Why are you here Edward?_

"I don't know."

"Where is Bella? Did something happen to her?"

"I left her," I said.

Her eyes were wide. "When? Why?"

I looked down at my hands in my lap. "Almost three months ago. I wasn't good for her. She deserves better..."

She was quiet. I heard her next question coming. "I know that James was interested in her. He didn't…"

I winced. "He tried."

"I hope that you put him down." I looked at her, surprised. "Bella is tough, but neither you nor she would make it through that. You know that I enjoyed James's company… but him with her… it would be unforgivable."

While I had always known there was a soft side to Tanya, her charitable feelings toward the woman who had thwarted her efforts touched me. I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

She looked at her hand in mine. _Did you come here for sex, Edward? To escape through physical contact?_

"Yes," I admitted. But suddenly I felt off balance. I shook my head. "No." I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I'm just here." I let go of her hand and ran my fingers through my hair. "I've been wandering around for the past three months. I haven't been able to return to Denali. I don't know where I'm headed next. Somehow, I started roaming again and I ended up here."

Tanya was silent and then she moved to straddle my lap. I looked at her, pushing some wisps of hair from her face. Then I removed the clip from her hair, spilling her long strawberry blond hair down over her shoulders. I touched her lips with my fingers. And I looked into her blue eyes… her blue eyes that were not the soft chocolate browns that I'd gazed into for the past year. These were not the eyes that used to look at me with love and understanding. I looked down.

She nodded. "Yes, that is what I thought," she said softly. She cupped my face. "Edward, at one time there was nothing I would have liked better than to have you back in this bed with me. You're hurting so much and I have to admit that I've missed you." She removed her hands from my face and pulled away a little. "But you told me a year ago that your heart was Bella's and that you had nothing to give to me. I can see it in your eyes… you still have nothing to give to me. I won't take nothing. I deserve better than that. And so do you..."

"...And so does Bella," she finished. My eyes met hers.

Tanya took a deep breath and looked away, gazing out one of the windows to the right of her bed. "I don't know what happened to make you leave her, but I can't help but feel that it is wrong. I saw you with her. I know the bond. You've made me wish that I could find that bond someday… can you believe that?"

Then she looked back at me, got up off of my lap and stood at the edge of the bed. Reaching for my hand, she smiled. "Let's get out of this room before you do something that you shouldn't. We'll go for a walk. Talk to me."

We walked for a long time in silence, heading out from Alamo Square through Pacific Heights and the Marina down to Fort Mason. And when I could speak, I told her about Paris, about James, about our engagement, about the baby. And about the bite. She was silent through most of it, asking questions on occasion but mainly letting me vent my feelings to someone who hadn't been intricately involved in the situation.

We continued walking past the Wharf and made our way along the Embarcadero, near the financial district. I had my hands in my pockets and Tanya put her arm through mine. "You look awful, Edward. You're a shell of what you were."

"Thanks. Glad to know that I look as good as I feel."

"You know what I mean. This is tearing you up. When I knew you… before Bella… you never let anything get to you. You just took action and moved on. Now, you look like you're barely holding it together. Like even walking is a burden."

"Now you know why I've been hiding out for all of these months," I said.

"I think it is pointless. If you were going to turn her, there must be some way to have that still happen without hurting her. You just need a safe haven…"

"If she'd even have me at this point…"

_Is that Edward?_ I recognized the voice I'd only heard for a brief hour or two over six months ago. I looked up. Bella's friend Angela was standing on the sidewalk, stopped mid-stride. Her eyes were wide as she looked at me and at Tanya's arm though mine, and at Tanya's general sexy appearance altogether.

She pressed her lips together, shook her head and put her eyes down, starting to walk past me.

_If you can hear me, I hope that you know that you are the BIGGEST scumbag ever. If I had a machete, I'd slice your head off right here, right now on this sidewalk._

I was shocked at the difference in this Angela and the one I met with Bella at the pub last November. That Angela's thoughts were straightforward, yes, but generally kind. I stopped and reached out to her. "Angela, it's not what…"

She recoiled as if she'd been touched by acid. "Edward, don't you dare touch me." She looked back at Tanya… up and down. "Let me guess. Tanya, right?"

I closed my eyes. I could see the image in Angela's head of Bella sitting on a bench by the lake in Chicago. Bella looked ragged and thinner. Her eyes had dark circles beneath them.

"_Hey, do me a favor, okay? If you see him in San Francisco, don't tell me." _

"_Why would I see him?" Angela asked._

"_He knows someone there. A woman from his past: Tanya. If you see him, I don't want to know," Bella said._

_Edward, who is this?_ Tanya thought.

I exhaled. "Tanya, this is Angela Weber… one of Bella's best friends."

Tanya grimaced and stepped away from me. "Edward, I'll let the two of you be alone. I'll be at the house."_ Come back if you still need to talk, but you know my opinion._ She nodded at Angela and walked toward Market Street.

Angela glared after her and shook her head. Then she looked back at me. She threw up her arms. "What, Edward? What?"

I tried to explain. "It wasn't what it looked like. I'm not with Tanya. I just came here to… find a friendly face."

"Who gives a shit?!" she said angrily. "You know what's funny? As I sat with her in Chicago and she was partially catatonic those first few days, I thought of all the things I would say to you if I ever saw you again. As I packed her up to get her the hell out of your house, I vowed I'd give it to you if I saw you. But now, none of the things I wanted to say matter. Nothing compares. There is nothing I can say that can EVER begin to make amends for the shell that you left behind."

I shook my head. "No, Bella is strong. I knew that it would hurt her but she'd deal with it in her logical, smart way. She has to know that I only did what was best…"

She cut me off. "Bella IS strong… you're right. But why put her in any situation where you're making her retreat back into herself? Why would you ask that of her? Didn't you like the person she'd become? Didn't you love HER as she was?"

"Of course I loved her. I love her still," I said quietly.

She shook her head and looked off across the street. "You don't know the amount she cried over the years about Jacob when we were at BCG together. She didn't shed a tear here. Not one. And she loved you more. She's gone dead inside. You make Jacob Black look like Prince Charming," she said bitterly.

"And then the timing of it all! Who does that, Edward? Who? Who leaves their fiancée so soon after she miscarries? Is this part of the 'code' that you neglected to explain to her? OR, did you want a kid so badly that you couldn't stand to look at her anymore?"

I was surprised at Angela's perspective. "Angela, I didn't leave her for that reason. Didn't she tell you?"

"She doesn't know why you left! Your note didn't exactly shed light on the situation!"

All of a sudden, it hit me. Bella didn't remember anything. She didn't know. Well, good. Maybe she'd hate me for it and move on. It was what was necessary for her.

"I almost killed her, Angela," I said in a low voice. "That's why I left."

She looked around and pursed her lips. She took in the fact that we were on a busy street in broad daylight with strangers around. And then she stared at me.

_Correct me if I'm wrong but, technically, you're not 'alive'… your heart doesn't beat, right?_

I stood immobile, my eyes glaring into hers. She took that as a yes.

_And if I understand from what I could get from her, you were going to turn her… in which case, she wouldn't be 'alive' either. Correct?_

I nodded.

She threw her hands up in the air. "So what am I missing?" _You were going to take her human life anyway._ "So what I see is another chickenshit man who ran when things got too tough. When she needed you the most!"

I stepped in close to her in a move that might have been a little faster than it should have been. Her eyes went wide as I spoke standing less than a foot away from her.

"Nobody is more important to me than Bella," I hissed. "I could have killed her that night. Not turned her: KILLED her. I removed the danger from her life. I made a choice to save her…" And then I turned away to go.

"No Edward, you're killing her anyway." I stopped and looked at her. She did a thumbs up sign at me. "Good going," she said sarcastically. And then she spun and started to walk away. But her parting thoughts shocked me.

_Asshole. She still has your damn mark on her and now she looks abandoned. Thank God Alice still cared enough about her to keep her safe when she was in Italy._

I gasped, "What?!"

Angela stopped and slowly turned back to look at me. A smug smile came on her face. "They didn't bother to tell you? Good. Now I like them more than I did before."

I stepped forward, reaching for her arm but she recoiled again. "Angela, what happened to her? Is she okay?"

_Screw you, Edward. You don't deserve to know._ Then she stormed off.

~#~

I was on the phone immediately.

"Hi, Edward," Alice answered. She had me on speakerphone.

"Alice!" I snarled. "Did you look for Bella? What the hell did you do?"

Jasper growled. "Edward, I've told you before don't you take that tone with her!"

"I said to stay away from her," I hissed.

"We've stopped listening to fools, you ass," Emmett's voice came. _Great, they're all in on it._

Alice spoke. "It's not like I can turn this off, Edward. I love her too. We all do. And when the vision appeared, there was no way we weren't going to help her. You'd die if anything happened to her, despite how you're acting right now."

"When did this happen?"

"About two weeks after we spoke with you... so two months ago," she answered.

"And no one bothered to tell me?!" I shouted. "I had to find out from her friend Angela!"

"So what? You've decided to stay out of her life," Rosalie snipped. "We don't owe you an explanation."

"Everyone, stay calm," Carlisle said. There was a pause before he spoke again. "Edward, come home. We can talk more rationally here. It was a group decision to interfere. We all agreed it would be best."

I felt betrayed. Even Carlisle, who'd always stayed above it all, had jumped in.

He continued. "Son, we know you better than you might know yourself right now. We're your family. But Bella was supposed to be part of this family too… and she still could be. We weren't willing to let her get killed…"

Killed? _Jesus._ My body froze and I stopped walking. "How bad was it?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

Alice spoke again. "She's a vampire magnet, with or without you. She was attacked. Jasper and Carlisle saved her and the rest of us took care of them."

"Son, just come home," Esme pleaded. "We can figure the way forward together."

~#~

I made my way back to Denali. When I arrived at the house, I could see the lights on in the house and I could hear them engrossed in their respective normal routines. However, I was in such a black mood, I wasn't ready for the shitstorm that I'd walk into, nor did I want my mood to infect them, particularly Jasper. So, instead of facing the music right away, I went to the garage to be alone for a while. I put my bags down and sat on the floor facing the wall, leaning on my Aston Martin passenger door. I knew Alice would know that I was home and I hoped that she'd see that I wanted to be left alone.

Eventually she entered the garage.

_Hi, Edward._

I didn't look up or say anything. She sat on the ground next to me leaning against my car.

_You look like hell._

"Thanks."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I know that you've been hurting."

"I deserve it, Alice."

"No, you don't. And neither does she." She was quiet. "I saw what happened in San Francisco. I know you couldn't allow yourself to be with Tanya. Don't you see Edward? You're meant to be with Bella."

"Meant to be? I've done nothing but harm her over and over!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air. "According to Angela, even the mark I left on her almost got her killed in Italy!" I leaned my head back against the door and looked at the ceiling. "What happened there?" I asked quietly.

Alice showed me the events that took place. Bella thrown around by the two vampires. My family arriving on the scene. Bella bitten and groaning in pain.

"_Her ribs are broken and I think that she's bleeding internally." Touching her forehead, Carlisle said. "Bella, I could let the venom spread if you'd like. You'll heal that way."_

_Bella looking around wildly as she writhed in pain, at last managing to focus on him, a look of defeat in her eyes. "No…" she moaned. "Just drain me and get it over with."_

_Jasper speaking to her calmly. "No, Bella. It isn't your time yet. Please don't say that. He still loves you."_

Carlisle sucking out the venom and Jasper giving her blood to heal her injuries. Another vampire carrying her off to safety.

_Wait, another vampire? Who the fuck was that? Shit, he was good looking! _I felt a pang of jealousy that I had no right to feel. Still, I groaned at the possibility.

"You see, Alice? Almost killed due to me!"

"I will admit that Italy was your fault," she said. I was a bit surprised at Alice's admittance. I nodded as she continued. "She never would have gone away had you not left her. Edward, don't you see, your decision to keep her safe by staying away had the opposite effect!"

"It is the best choice for her."

"Is it really?" And then I heard her thoughts.

_Figures. When it rains it pours. Fuck._

I looked at her. "Why do you ask, Alice?"

She answered. "I was just wondering, do you think she could be happy with him for a little while? Do you like this Jacob Black guy?"

* * *

**A/N: Ruh roh, what did Alice see now? **

**For those of you still out there, thanks for reading so far. And unlike Edward, I cannot read your thoughts... please review!**

_Post A/N: Thank you to MrsEdwardCullenP and Loves2Read205 for talking me out of giving you a five line HEA chapter after Ch 11 and being done with it. LOL. At the time, I was hungry and thirsty and my eyes were black. Once I was fed, all was right with the world... I'm a brown-eyed girl again. More chapters cometh._


	13. Old Friends

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

**_**A/N 1: This Chapter continues from Ch 11.**_

_**Previously - BPOV**_

Serena nodded. "I'll take Bella and Nicole back to the pensione."

"Wait!" I cried. "What about them? Carlisle, Jasper…"

"I will guide them back to San Gimignano. I will bring them to the pensione." Marco looked at me. "I think you need help to the car." And with that, he picked me up again and carried me down the street until we were out of the city walls and at Serena's car. Once inside, Serena-Leadfoot floored it.

Nicole was wide eyed. Finally she spoke. "Um, can I just ask… WHAT THE FUCK?!! What just happened?"

Serena shook her head. "That's the one thing I never could stomach about Volterra. All the God damned vampires."

* * *

**Chapter 13: Old Friends **_**  
(A/K/A - How to Rile the Readers)**_

**BPOV**

So, as it turns out, Serena's Hermes scarves had been serving a purpose for the last few years. Yeah, she knew of the existence of vampires big time. During our time on Santorini, she had made the acquaintance of one when she had heat exhaustion and needed medical help. Apparently, Οία was one of those little vampire towns I was so fond of.

But she was still a little peeved at me when I made the introductions. "Nicole, Serena, this is Edward's family," I said, gesturing to each by name.

"This is Edward's family?" She put her hands on her hips. "And when were you going to tell me that he was a vampire?"

I pointed at Marco. "Um, got something to say to ME, sister?"

So she explained how she found Marco... who had originally approached her to offer her protection from the gangs who controlled different aspects of Italian life. Think the Sopranos mafia... but with sharp teeth and venom.

Nicole took this all amazingly well, once we'd given her a couple of bottles of Peroni. Looking at the collective beauty of Marco and the Cullens, I heard her mutter, "Shit, I'm finding me a vampire as soon as we get back to the States."

We left two days later to go back. I said my goodbyes to them all, one by one, and finally to Nicki when we passed through JFK on the flight home.

Then real life began a week later when I started at my new job.

~#~

My first day back with the Boston Consulting Group was a welcome relief from the emptiness I felt. Despite the last part of the trip, it had been so nice to spend time with two of my best girlfriends and an even bigger surprise to see the Cullens show up in force to help me survive yet another near death experience. However, seeing them without… him… only left me even more saddened by how much he no longer cared. Jasper could sense my anxiety and, in the end, they told me they'd wait on me to call and that they understood if it was too painful for me.

And so I hoped to bury myself in work. Once, when Angela and I were on that San Francisco project for a few months, we had some fun and went to the Berkeley Psychic Institute to get our 'auras' read and cleaned. The ones working on me said that I was all out of balance because I carried my work all in front of me. _Suurre,_ I thought but I let them 'rebalance' me. So moving and picking at my invisible aura to reposition it back in its regular place, they rebalanced me, and damn if I wasn't sad and lonely once they moved it all around! I almost went back to ask them to put it back because it made me aware of how little I had going on in my life aside from work since the Jacob relationship wasn't happening at that time.

Well, now I welcomed it. Bring it on! Work, work and more work please! I needed to ignore the void.

"Bella Swan… I heard you were coming back to us."

"Greg!" I smiled getting up from my desk. It was my favorite manager from my analyst days. I'd worked with him on a banking project that took us to Buenos Aires years before. He was 16 years my senior, married, and just a doll… one of the decent managers who didn't hit on the young analysts. Jacob used to think that I had a crush on him because I was so happy when he came to Boston for work. In retrospect, I may have had one but it wasn't that kind of crush. I just really liked the guy as a person.

I gave him a big hug. "Just like old times, huh?" he asked. He looked into my eyes and his brows furrowed slightly. "So, how are you settling in?"

"Just fine so far. I had to go through the stupid orientation, even though I was on the cross office taskforce that created it three years ago!" I muttered, shaking my head.

He smiled. "You know how it is. It's the BCG way. So, would you like to grab some lunch later today or do you already have plans? My treat…"

"I'd love to," I said. It was so good to be with people who knew me before, so that I could hopefully reconnect with part of that person. The old Bella… the one who, despite all the heartbreak with Jacob, didn't feel like the walking disaster I felt like these days. Greg was the only other manager, aside from Serena, who knew about my feelings for Jacob back then. He really was a decent guy, giving me lots of advice on not letting Jake treat me badly.

We walked over to the Billy Goat Tavern to grab some greasy burgers. It was boiling hot in Chicago in the summer time so we both had our jackets off, strolling under the hot sun.

"I can't believe your two years of school went by so quickly," he said, "but I was traveling for most of that time so it is a blur to me. I would have thought we'd have caught up sometime before this, but you know… So how did you enjoy it?"

"I loved it… but you were right. It was fairly easy." Greg and the other BCG Vice Presidents had tried to convince me not to go to University of Chicago because they said I was quantitative enough with my analyst background. "On the other hand, it helped boost my confidence."

"I'm sure you were popular with the guys there," he said, nudging me.

I looked down; Greg had misinterpreted my meaning. "Oh, well, yes, there was that… but what I meant was that I realized I knew a hell of a lot more than I thought I did when I first entered the program."

We waited in the rather long line to get the Billy Goat's famous cheeseburgers that were made famous in the old Saturday Night Live skit with John Belushi. Greg looked at me carefully. "You look different, Bella." His eyes were searching my face.

"How so?"

"It's strange. You definitely walk with more confidence than you did before school, but…"

But. He could see it. Yes, with the exception of Jake, I surrounded myself with friends who were as perceptive as I was… or more so.

"…your eyes are sad. Almost like the old days with Jacob."

Our burgers were up and ready and we grabbed them and walked back to the office to eat there.

"Yeah... Greg, I've recently been through a really bad breakup, that's all. I can't tell you how glad I am to be at work. It will help me keep my mind off of it. In fact, I had asked to be on Chicago client projects, but there's no need anymore, so I'm game for anything. Especially if it is NOT in Chicago.

"Well, you may be in luck," he said. "I'm kicking off a new project in about a week or two. Bank strategy. I would love you to be the Project Manager."

"That would be awesome, but I'm only an Associate, Greg. Don't you think you'll need a more senior lead?"

"Hey," he said, "what about that confidence you just mentioned? Besides, I know how you work, Bella. You're my pick."

I smiled. "Do you have analysts lined up for the project yet?"

He paused. "Hmmm, yes. But maybe we'll switch that out for you."

We were at our office building now and made our way to the elevators. "Greg, that's silly, especially if he or she has already done some of the pre-work. Are you saying the analyst is hard to manage?"

"No, I pulled in one of the best…"

"Then let's just move forward. I'm in if you're game."

"Why don't we just wait and…"

The elevator door opened and its passengers spilled out into the lobby. I did a double take when I saw the last person stepping out of the elevator, as did he.

"Hello, Bella," he said.

Jacob. Jacob Freakin' Black.

~#~#~

_Are you trying to punish me, God? What did I do? Is this about having sex before marriage? _

I managed to keep my cool. Yep, I was a Vulcan for sure. "Hey Jake," I said, nonchalantly. I gestured to the bags Greg and I were carrying. "We're going to eat, but stop by when you're back from lunch. I'm at the north end of the office."

He smiled and nodded as we switched places in the elevator and building lobby. "Will do."

Greg was a little sheepish when I looked at him after the elevator doors had closed. "Sorry Bella. I had hoped to be able to tell you before then."

"Nah, it's okay. I don't feel that way about him anymore. It's just a little weird because the last time I saw him was about a year ago and it wasn't a good interaction."

"We can switch analysts, Bella."

"No, it will be fine from my end. I'll clear it up with him after lunch and offer him the choice."

Jacob made it to my office about an hour later as I was reviewing the project proposal. I stood up behind my desk and smiled.

"So," Jake said, "I hear you're the PM on Greg's project?"

"Yep, and you're the Senior Analyst… if you still want to be…"

He raised his eyebrows. "Yeah," he said softly, "of course I'll stay on the project, Bella.

"Great," I said. "I get to work with two of my old favorite BCG men… only this time, I'm your boss, Black."

His eyes narrowed but there was humor in them. "You always did try to boss me around, Swan."

"Now I have a legitimate reason."

"Well, I can get you up to speed on the pre-work we've done if you'd like. Whenever you want." he said shrugging.

"Sounds good. Give me half an hour and we'll grab a conference room."

Working with Jacob came very naturally despite the fact that we'd never been on a project together in the past. He was a sharp guy, meticulous in his note taking with flawless handwriting, thank goodness. I could easily read his notes that he hadn't typed up yet… a welcome relief from my chicken scratch that even I had a hard time reading. It was after 6 p.m. when we finished up that first night. I had a good understanding of where we needed to go and the questions we needed to probe on our interviews.

"So how is Edward?" he asked as we were cleaning up our mess from the conference.

I inhaled sharply as the question took me by surprise. Then I continued to pile the papers up, not looking at him. "We're not together anymore." I said tersely.

I could hear the shock in his voice. "What? Since when? What happened?"

I looked up at him and met his curious gaze. "Jake, I can't talk about it now, okay? Just don't mention his name to me, please."

His face was pensive, his eyes scanning my face. "Well," he said softly, "I guess that it explains it…"

I looked down, a little shocked by the comment. I thought we had been having a good work meeting. I knew then that he had seen it the whole time. I never realized that he could be this observant. He seemed clueless only two years ago.

"Bells, you look so sad. I haven't seen you like this since me."

My head snapped up and I gave him the hairy eyeball. "Are you trying to help, Jake? Because you suck at it."

He chuckled. "Aw, sweetie, I am trying to help. I'm here to talk if you need it."

I knew that he really meant it. "Thanks… maybe I'll feel like it someday."

We walked back to our offices. I needed to change the subject. "So what's up with B'school?" I asked.

"I decided to delay for a year. Too many good projects."

"Where were they?"

He paused for a moment. "Here in Chicago," he said quietly.

I stopped in my tracks. "Wait. Do you live here now? You're not just here on assignment?"

"Yes, I live here."

"You've been here in Chicago? Since when?"

"Since last Fall."

"Wow." I shook my head and blinked, trying to clear it from the shock. "I'd ask why you didn't look me up but I guess I can understand why given our last interaction." We continued walking slowly.

"I was going to," he said, "but I wasn't sure that you'd want me to… or that I could do it."

"And now?" I asked. "Are we good?" We were in my office at this point.

Jacob looked at me and then turned to close my office door for privacy. _Uh oh._ Turning back to face me, he spoke. "I don't know Bella. I really don't. I hope that we are, but I can say this… it hurts less for me knowing that you're single." He grimaced slightly and shook his head. "I know it doesn't hurt less for you and I'm really sorry…"

I felt like I might come apart. I wrapped my arms around my torso tightly, trying to hold it together. I kept my head down and nodded.

"… But I have to say that I've really missed my best friend over the past year."

I looked up and met his gaze. "I've missed you too. Our friendship really was a great part of us back then." I took a deep breath. "Can we try again? Friends?" I asked, extending my hand.

"Friends," he nodded, accepting my handshake.

~#~

Thankfully, the project started a week earlier than planned now that the team was assembled. Greg and I flew around the country doing interviews with the key executives. All data were hustled off to Jake as they came to me so that he could start incorporating the information into the Excel model he was building.

The client wanted to see some preliminary analyses early so Jake and I ended up working fairly late every night once I was back in town. I was able to review Jake's model and then argue with him about some of the levers that I wanted him to test; he gave me grief about it but ultimately acquiesced and we were able to find some bugs with his preliminary template design, much to his chagrin. In general, though, we worked well together. We ordered dinner in a lot and it was very comfortable being with Jacob again; it actually reminded me of the good days before… him.

One Friday night after two full weeks of working into the night, Jake stopped by my office. "Margaritas?" he asked with a big smile on his face. "I've discovered a great bar in Lincoln Park that even serves them upside down."

I thought about it and felt a little uncomfortable. "I'm not sure alcohol would be a good thing, Jake."

"Why, you don't think we can control ourselves?" he asked, smirking.

I took a deep breath. "I'm not sure," I admitted. His face registered a little surprise and something else: hope. "I'm in a weird place right now. And as your manager, I don't need you to bring up some crazy lawsuit saying I sexually harassed you, in case Big Lips Bella makes an appearance when I'm under the influence."

He laughed. "Yeah, Big Lips Bella. Wow, I remember that." He paused, thinking for a moment. "I'm sure we'll be fine. Tell you what: let's skip the upside down part and just go get a normal margarita and some dinner to go with it. Dinner OUTSIDE of this office. We could both use a night off. We've been working for 14 days straight, Bells."

We actually did have fun as we got to reminiscing about the old days. It was amazing the amount of peace this brought me when years before it was all heartache. _Silly Bella. You didn't know real heart break until now._

Jake seemed to remember a lot of interesting events, all of them centered around the other guys he denied being jealous of last year. "What about that guy you met from the Air Force at Jessica's party?"

"Ah, yes, Sam! He had the best pick up 'line' I've ever heard," I said. "Remember?"

Jacob's eyes flashed. Oh yeah, he remembered. We were at Jessica's apartment and the party was crowded. This tall, clean cut dark haired guy was standing in front of me,Jacob and some others when one of his friends handed him a shot glass filled with a milky green something. He downed it in front of me and I was amazed, never having done shots myself at that point. My eyes were big and I asked him what it tasted like.

"_You tell me," Sam said, and he bent down and kissed me. _

"_Minty," I said, licking my lips and smiling at him. _

"You didn't even know him!" Jacob growled.

"I know," I laughed, "but I did after that. Great pick-up... and great kisser! We went out a bunch of times after that night."

"I wanted to clock him! He kissed you right in front of me."

"Ha, right! You and I weren't dating, remember? By your choice! You had no reason to clock him!"

"And what about your birthday?" he continued.

"Which one?"

"You know which one. The one where you kissed both me and Embry."

"It was MY birthday, Jacob. I had had a few beers and was feeling good. Embry followed me around at every party after that hoping for a repeat performance."

He groaned. "Bells, he was my cubicle mate."

"What can I say?" I said laughing. "Guys liked my 'big, full' lips." Suddenly I got a vision of Edward at the pond staring at my lips telling me that he wished he could kiss me. I pushed the thought away.

Jacob looked at me and his eyes quickly flashed to my lips and then back to my eyes. "Yeah, we do." I took a gulp of water. _No, no, no._

"We had a lot of fun, didn't we?" he asked as he walked me back to my apartment after dinner.

"We did," I agreed. "But you upset me a lot too," I reminded him.

"Yeah, I know," he said quietly. "Embry saw you run to the restroom crying one day after you'd been in our cube talking. He gave me shit and told me to give you a break." He paused. "Bells, I can't tell you how happy I am that you're not with..."

I winced, hoping that he wouldn't say his name.

"… Assward."

That caught me by surprise. "What?" I sputtered.

"I'm tired of avoiding the name and having to refer to him as 'him,' 'he'… like he's a god to be revered. I'm not sure what happened to you guys but he clearly screwed up so in my mind he's an ass. That makes him Assward."

I laughed and it actually felt great. "Assward. That's good. Thanks."

Jacob put his arm around me. I stiffened.

"Bells…"

"Jake," I said, looking down at the sidewalk, "I'm not ready for that. I wish that I were. I'd love for this hurt to be over, but it's only been two months."

He turned me to face him and he lightly took two fingers, put them under my chin and brought my head up to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry that I screwed it up, Bella. God, I miss the way that you used to look at me when I would kiss you. I was so stupid not to realize how I felt."

I kept his stare. "Did you move here for me?"

"Probably," he admitted. "Okay, yes. I wanted to be near you but I didn't know…"

I looked down the street and took a big breath. "Let's go back to basics. Our friendship… and if it goes somewhere from there, it does." I turned back to look up at him. "If not, we're just friends."

He nodded. "We always were, Bells," he said, smiling. "We always will be."

* * *

**A/N 2: Aw, what a nice reunion. **

**Okay, I've put my coat of armor on. I'm ready for the arrows you're gonna fling at me. Please be nice, though. I'm very sensitive underneath my Vulcan exterior.**

**Hey Jacob haters, no cursing me out! Jacob was in her life before Edward... at least in my stories. And our girl Bella knows herself. As I said in the beginning of the story, DO NOT jump to conclusions about where this is going. Seriously: no scathing reviews based on incorrect assumptions.  
**

**To clarify: Bella's timeline at the end of this chapter is about 2 months after break-up. Edward's perspective is 3 months post-break-up. Their timelines will converge soon.**

**Thanks for reading so far. Please review.**

_****__Post A/N:  
_

_1. __BCG Disclaimer: Although I have been a consultant for my entire working career, I do not and have never worked at BCG. All BCG references are purely for the story. I have NO idea if their managers are/were as lecherous as when I was an analyst at my first job out of college. LOL. _

_2. The Berkeley Psychic Institute is cool. If you're ever in Berkeley, CA: go. They'll tell you amazing things._


	14. Jacob Freakin’ Black

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

**_**A/N 1: This Chapter continues from Ch 12.**_

_**Previously - EPOV**_

"You see, Alice? Almost killed due to me!"

"I will admit that Italy was your fault," she said. I was a bit surprised at Alice's admittance. I nodded as she continued. "She never would have gone away had you not left her. Edward, don't you see, your decision to keep her safe by staying away had the opposite effect!"

"It is the best choice for her."

"Is it really?" And then I heard her thoughts.

_Figures. When it rains it pours. Fuck._

I looked at her. "Why do you ask, Alice?"

She answered. "I was just wondering, do you think she could be happy with him for a little while? Do you like this Jacob Black guy?"

* * *

**Chapter 14: Jacob Freakin' Black**

**EPOV**

_Do I like Jacob Black? There's a question. _

Jacob was the man before me in Bella's life. A former friend and the one with whom she had once hoped to have a relationship. The guy I'd asked to leave her alone last year. When I last left him, he was sitting in his hotel in Chicago just coming to grips with the fact that he'd lost Bella to me.

"Why Alice?"

"I haven't had any visions of Bella randomly popping up…"

I cut her off. "That implies that you've had visions that you actually sought out," I said tersely. I softened my tone. "Did you?"

_Yes._

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to. As I said, your decision-making has been impaired when it comes to Bella. There still could be a good outcome to this if you'd only do something about it."

I felt a small pang near my heart. A good outcome? I tried to see what she knew but she was blocking me.

"So, as I was saying, I hadn't had any _unsolicited _visions of her for the past two months. Then suddenly I had one."

"Do I want to know about this?" I asked.

"I don't know… do you?" she asked quietly.

I inhaled sharply as Alice recounted her vision in her head. I shouldn't have cared. I left her for a better future, but seeing these images affected me more than I ever imagined. For my sake, she sped through them, but the speed didn't lessen the agony.

Bella out with Jacob, in Chicago, eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas. Jacob grabbing Bella by the hand and pulling her toward him to kiss her. Jacob sitting with Bella on a beach, getting down on one knee to propose to her. Bella in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle on her father's arm, and Charlie putting Bella's hand in Jacob's at the end of the aisle. On their flight, on their way to their honeymoon and Jacob pulling Bella into the airplane restroom. _Ouch._

Jacob and Bella sitting at home, cuddled up on the couch. Jacob touching her face and pulling her to sit on top of him. Bella straddled over Jacob, rocking against him, her head thrown back and eyes closed. Jacob touching Bella's swollen belly. Bella holding a little boy with Jacob's dark skin and hair and her chocolate eyes. Bella leaning over the baby's cradle, making sure that he was sleeping peacefully.

Jacob coming home and finding Bella and their baby son dead on the floor, their skin the gray ghastly tone that comes from being exsanguinated. Jacob collapsing to his knees, crying out in anguish.

_**WHAT?!**_

I jumped up. "Alice! What was that?!"

She stood up with me and looked down at her hands. "Edward… your mark. She's a magnet and you know it. I mean, it is still several years away... but Jacob couldn't protect her," she said, as if the future had already happened. Then she looked back up at me. "But you could."

"How, Alice? How can I protect her? I'm the one who almost did her in!"

_Turn her Edward. Find a way and just do it. You know that in your heart it's what you truly want, or else she'll end up like this..._

She showed me that last image of Bella and the baby dead and Jacob in agony on the floor next to them.

A future I didn't want for her. Three lives ruined. All because of me.

But even without this gruesome image, seeing her with Jacob solidified it. I was a fool to think I could live without her and let her be with someone else. She was mine. I wanted her with me forever, and I was going to go find her.

~#~

I was on the first flight out to Chicago the next day. As the trip took so long to get back, I went to my house to stay there overnight and planned to go to her office the next day.

The house smelled musty and stale, with a strong odor of Bella mixed in. No one had been here for months, yet her scent was still evident. The wall outside of the study had a dent in it and the wooden floors below the dent had strange marks in the wood. There were chunks of metal in the garbage can by my desk; I picked them up and realized that they were the remnants of her iPod.

Photos of her with my family lay strewn on my desk. The shredder had pieces of photo paper in it… I could see from the pieces that they had been photos of me or of us together. I suddenly felt a little less sure of myself._ I guess she didn't spend months looking at MY picture…_

The spots on the shelves where her family photos had been were empty; her books that had been intermingled with mine were gone. When you stepped back and looked at the entire shelving unit, it looked like the evil smile of a jack o' lantern, the big empty toothless gaps mocking my foolishness.

Slowly I made my way up to my bedroom, afraid of going back to the scene of the crime. I passed the upstairs bathroom and then stopped, backed up and sniffed. There was a lingering odor here, particularly on the floor. I bent over to smell some more. It was all over the floor. I quickly realized she'd spent some time lying there. My heart ached at the image in my head.

Finally I made it to the bedroom. Her scent was still here, and so powerful, despite the months that had passed. The bed was disheveled and the indentation of her head was still visible on the pillow. I lay down and let myself inhale, my nose against the mattress taking in the mixed scent of our arousal and her natural perfume. I glanced over at the closet to see the empty hangers and at the bureau drawers that had been hers, now hanging open and empty. I turned to lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.

_Fucking stupid guy regrets his dumbass actions alright. _

I worried all night about how to best approach her in the morning.

~#~

I arrived at her office at 8 a.m. the next day but stayed outside standing across the street looking at her building. I was hoping to see her as she arrived and catch her before she went up, but as the hour passed, I wondered if there was another entrance to the building or if she'd come in early: she was an early riser after all. Mustering up the courage, I went up to the 27th floor at 9 a.m.

_Holy shit… will you look at this guy! _The receptionist's thoughts were not pure as I walked toward her. She removed her glasses and smiled at me. "May I help you, sir?"

"Yes, please. I'm here to see Isabella Swan."

_Bella. Jesus. This girl is a babe-magnet. He called her Isabella… I sure hope he's a client._ "I'm sorry, sir, she's away on a business trip. She left two days ago. Did you have an appointment to see her?"

_Away. Shit._ "Well, no, I didn't." I needed to know where she was right away. I turned on the charm. Smiling, I leaned on the desk and said, "I'm an old friend and I just got back in town. Do you know when she'll be back or how I can get in touch with her?" Bella was unlisted and damn Alice refused to help me other than the images she shared with me.

_Wo-ow._ "Uh, well, let me get her cell phone number for you." _Shit, I should give him my number instead! DAMN, Bella must be good. First this guy and now Jacob… She's not even that pretty…_

The lack of clarity and appreciation for real beauty always astounded me. Bella wasn't that pretty?? This woman had to be jealous of her... Bella was gorgeous! And then I rewound to the comment before that, my mind reeling. _Hold the phone: FIRST me and NOW Jacob? Excuse me???_

And then I heard more thoughts coming from behind me. _No. Fucking. Way... Edward._

I turned around. _No fucking way right back at ya, pal._ There, standing in dress pants, a button down shirt, and tie, was Jacob Black.

I realized then that the first image that Alice had shown me of Bella and Jacob eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas was NOT from a year ago, as I had mistakenly assumed, but rather from a more recent night out. Which probably meant the kiss I'd seen was also not from their distant past, but something more recent as well, or from their possible future. _Damn it, Alice!_ At that moment, I understood why she had flashed through the images so quickly. I had thought that it was to spare me the pain… but she didn't want me to realize that he was here already.

"Hello Jacob," I said with a small smile.

He closed his eyes, pressed his lips together and shook his head. Then he opened his eyes again, glared at me and held a finger out to me indicating that I should wait. He went back into a nearby conference room, retrieved his suit jacket and put it on as he was walking. "I have to step out for a moment, Margie," he said to the very curious receptionist. Then he gestured to me to come with him. As I turned to leave, I heard more disturbing thoughts out of Margie. _Oh boy, Jacob looks mad! I heard that he and Bella were caught in the conference room on Tuesday night... this guy MUST be an ex!_

I followed him into the elevator and he pounded on the L button. We stood in silence, as far away from each other as possible as we rode the excruciatingly slow ride down, but I could hear the long string of profanities going on in his head. The damned elevator decided to stop at another five more floors taking in more passengers to prolong the outward silence before letting us out.

He walked quickly across the building lobby, violently shoving the glass doors to the street open and stepping out. Walking North on Wacker, I kept pace with him as we made our way a few blocks down. Finally, when we were outside of the Merc, he whipped around and started talking.

"God damn you, Edward! What are you doing here? Haven't you messed up her life enough already?"

"Jacob, I don't think this concerns you."

"Oh, it very much does."

"How so? Are you and Bella dating?" I asked. _Bella and Jacob caught in the conference room. Bella and Jacob caught in the conference room. CAUGHT. DOING. WHAT???_

His eyes glared at me and I could hear the answer. _Fuck you. Not yet but give it time._ I breathed a subtle sigh of relief, although I still wondered about Margie's gossip.

"I don't think it's any of your business, you asshole. You gave up the right to know months ago."

"I'll take that as a no," I said.

"Screw you. Seriously, why now? She's healing."

"Thanks to you and your attentive efforts, no doubt."

"Hey man, you knew how I felt about her last year when you asked me to stay away. So what if you stepping out left the door open for someone else to step in? That's the risk you take, buddy," he said.

_Hell no, you and I are not, and never will be, buddies, Jacob Black._ "Why are you here in Chicago, Jacob? Aren't you about to whisk off to Business school sometime soon?" I asked sarcastically.

"I delayed my start for a year. I live here."

I stiffened. _He's here. Not visiting._ "You live here now?"

"That's right," he said, his jaw squared.

"Since when?"

He didn't answer but I heard it in his head. I was shocked to discover that he'd been here almost a year. Begrudgingly, I had to admire his restraint. All of this time here in the same city with the woman he loved and he had stayed away. I had to flee the country to stay away from her.

He glared at me. "None of your damn business. Listen, go slink off to whatever rock you've been hiding under and leave us alone."

_US? _"Did you move here to be close to Bella?"

"What do you care? You gave her up! She doesn't even know why… she said you just ended it! You told me last year that you knew her better. If you had, you would have never done that to her!"

He shook his head. "You know, I know that after last year you thought I was a schmuck. And the truth is, when it came to dating her years ago, I was. I was a colossal prick, but at least I was always her friend. What you did was full on Rat Bastard category."

_Christ, first Rosalie and now him. Is 'rat bastard' some new and funky way of insulting someone that I've missed?_ Whatever choice insult he picked, I couldn't argue with him knowing that from all of their perspectives – with Bella really not knowing what happened to me that night – he was right. I nodded sadly in agreement.

His face registered surprise for a moment. He turned away from me and stared across the street. Cars were rushing by us and pedestrians walked rapidly, making their way to their respective destinations. But I was fixated on him. I could hear his heart beating more rapidly as his anger escalated.

"Do you know what she was like before you met her? Before she went to business school?" His face was wistful, his eyes unfocused as he peered across the street, his mind thinking of the Bella who was once in love with him. All images were of her, all from his eyes, his perspective.

I saw images of a slightly younger Bella, just a year out of college. Sitting in his cubicle. At a formal event, looking stunning and smiling at him. Bella being pulled to him and then the two of them wrapped around each other, her lips pressed to his in a passionate kiss in front of a waiting cab. Cooking together and watching TV. Laughing over the craps table in Vegas. Her eyes dreamy as he moved in to kiss her. Long talks sitting on a couch. _My God, she's always been so beautiful._

Then his voice was more somber and sad. "Do you know what she's been like for the past two months? She's a shell of what she was. Of course, by all outside appearances she looks fine. She jokes and kids around, she's living life. But that little spark… that fearlessness she once had… It's almost like it's not there anymore. I've been trying to help her put the pieces back together… to get her back to that place."

As he was talking, I saw more recent images of her. She was thinner and her eyes were more cautious and reserved than before. Bella standing behind her desk, her arms wrapped around herself, holding herself tightly, not looking up at him. Bella leaning over him to point something out on the computer screen at his desk. Bella sitting scrunched down in her seat at the movies. Bella scantily dressed in a little sports bra and shorts, kicking and hitting a punching bag. Sitting together at one of their apartments on the couch, Jacob's hand on her face, inches from her, wiping her mouth gently with a napkin and touching her lips with his thumb.

_Jesus._ Jacob really was trying to move in on her. The images were making me uncomfortable. Actually, they made me more than uncomfortable... they were making me angry. _What was he doing touching her?_?? _Caught in the conference room??_

"She's finally starting to be more whole, Edward, but it hasn't been easy. She's buried herself in work and hides her pain well but I know it. I know what she's feeling. You were right last year. I was never oblivious to her feelings, and I'm not now, despite what she doesn't say."

I started to sense the hidden meaning to his words… and I decided to draw them out. "Why are you so angry with me Jacob? Are you angry on her behalf or angry because you're scared that she might choose me?"

"Listen Assward…" he spat.

My eyes narrowed and looked at him darkly, "Assward?"

"Yes, 'Assward.' She refused to speak your name and I got tired of it so I started to call you that. She likes it. So my point is that she doesn't want any reminders of you. She won't say your name. She has no photos. She won't even take karate anymore."

My dead heart hurt. It physically hurt. Karate and Bella were synonymous in my mind. "Why?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I guess because it reminds her of you. Didn't you say that she spent time in a Karate studio at your house in Alaska?"

I took a deep breath and then exhaled. I spoke slowly. "So, then, I come back to my question: why are you so angry with me? If you're so sure she wouldn't choose me, you have no reason to fear me."

"I'm not afraid of you!" he shouted, but I could hear the doubt and for a brief second, his face had betrayed him.

"Jacob," I asked gently, "are you sure that the spark you say is missing isn't just a reflection of her more platonic feelings for you now?"

He glared at me. "Just go away. Give her the time she needs."

"You mean give you the time that you need."

"Yeah, okay, that too. I could make her happy, Edward."

"Are you ready for that at last?" I asked. "You still have school to attend. Are you going to go to school here in Chicago? What if you're not accepted locally?"

"None of that is your business, now, is it? That would be between me and Bella. And besides, you're one to talk about being '_ready_.' I didn't propose and run!"

"I had my reasons…"

"Don't you think she deserved to know what those were?"

"Yes. I do," I said firmly. "That's why I'm here."

His face froze for a moment as he registered my response. Then he spoke. "Please," he pleaded, "Leave her alone. I love her. I was wrong to give her up."

"And so was I. Clearly the two of us have a lot in common. We're both in love with her and we have both been fools." Then I dared to ask the most important question. "Does she love you back?"

He stepped forward as if he were going to rush me and knock me over. Then he stopped. I tried to keep my tone as neutral and gentle as possible, masking the hope that was beginning to build in me. I took a breath before I spoke. "Jacob, she still had pictures of _you_ when I was with her. She never asked me not so say _your_ name." I paused again, letting that sink in. "The fact that she has eliminated all reminders… Who does SHE love?"

He didn't answer, but I heard the response in my head. _You, motherfucker. It's still you._

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I suspect that we both know the answer to that." Opening my eyes again, I met his stare. "So my question to you is this: Do you love her enough to let her go again?"

His eyes were defiant for a moment, but then they changed as he began to accept the truth.

"I love her, Jacob. I've never stopped. I love her more than my own life. If there is even a chance that she'd take me back, I'll take it."

_Fuck me... the minute she sees him, I'll never have a chance._ I could hear him arguing with himself about how much he should say... and then he gave up. His face fell as he leaned against the wall. "Of course there's a chance," he whispered. "You still have her mangled heart." He shook his head. "I know that it may not seem like it, but I really do want her to be happy. Yeah, selfishly, I want that happiness to be with me."

"But I saw how she was with you last year, Edward. The truth is… she never looked at me that way. NEVER. I mean, you know how hard she is to read. She masks her emotions so well, so you only get a glimpse of what she's feeling if or when she lets you. I saw it. I can't stand seeing her like this with me."

As much as I had resented the young man who stood in front of me, the one who had been trying to steal the love I wanted out from under me, I once again couldn't help but feel admiration for him. He did love her… both as a woman and as his friend.

"She held you in very high esteem, Jacob. I never understood why after your romantic history together… until now, that is. Now I understand completely. You ARE a good friend. I'm sorry I ever thought any differently about you."

"Yes," he said, his eyes both angry and sad at the same time. "Through it all, I was always her friend, and I always will be." He stepped closer, about a foot away, staring into my eyes.

"Edward. Hear me now. If you go to her and she takes you back... As her friend, if you ever hurt her like this again, I will kill you. Full stop. I don't care if I end up in jail for it."

I nodded. "I'd let you do it, Jacob. I'd help you myself." I paused and finally asked the one thing I most needed to know at that moment. "Where is she?"

"She went to Seattle to do some interviews," he said. "She's staying the weekend to visit her dad." Then he turned to walk back to his building.

"Thank you," I breathed. Then I turned in the opposite direction and walked away.

_Forks. Wait for me, Bella. I'm coming for you._

_

* * *

_

**A/N 2: And it looks like Edward has finally pulled his head out of his ass.**

**Thanks for reading so far. And nope, still can't read your thoughts... please leave a review! (And be nicer to me than you were on the last chapter!)**


	15. Sad Songs Say So Much

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE. I definitely don't own U2's One.**

_A/N 1: The timelines have converged._

**

* * *

Chapter 15: Sad Songs Say So Much**

**BPOV**

As I sat on a plane to Seattle on Wednesday morning, I worked on the draft summary document for the project. We were close to the end and this trip would be my last before the results were presented to the client. As I worked through the document, I became distracted as I replayed the events of the past few weeks over in my mind. Jacob was having a hard time holding back... it was almost like I could tangibly feel his desire. I had to respect the fact that he hadn't made a move on me as he once might have so many years ago.

I remembered the first kiss we shared after the BCG holiday formal his first year there. We'd both had a lot to drink and as I went to leave the party, he had followed me out. When no one was looking, he'd grabbed my hand telling me that I should come home with him and he started pulling me into a cab. I held firm in my tracks, pulling back on his hand, laughing and telling him no and my actions instead yanked him to me by accident. It was like a set of magnets: our lips literally crashed into each other and we were wrapped around each other right there on the sidewalk making out. Realizing that any one of our co-workers could walk out and see us – and afraid of what might have happened if I went with him – I broke our kiss, stepped back from him, jumped in the cab and had the driver take off, leaving him on the sidewalk.

This was a different Jake I was dealing with. I thought – no, I knew – that he was being extra careful about his actions, knowing that if he moved too quickly, I'd hop in that cab and drive off again. At the same time, he was making his intent all too clear.

"Jacob, I really don't need you to drive me to the airport," I said to him as we worked late that Tuesday night before I had to leave. We sat in a conference room at the office eating take out Chinese food.

"Why, Bells? It's not a problem for me."

"I can catch a cab! It is business travel anyway so the client will pay for it."

"Okay," he said. "If you're going to be stubborn about it! I just wanted to be able to spend a little more time with you before you went away."

"Uh, we spend every evening together; we have for the past six weeks working on this damned project. Now we're also in boxing classes at dawn twice a week."

"Well, then, can you see how I'd have Bella withdrawal?"

I shook my head. "I'm only going for the weekend right after the Seattle interviews." I took my chopsticks and grabbed some noodles out of the carton he was holding, then I popped them into my mouth.

"Hey!" he protested. I laughed and tried to lick the sauce that had splattered on my face from the noodles. I couldn't reach it so I grabbed for my napkin.

Jake's hands were suddenly on my wrists, stopping me from using the napkin. I looked up from his hand to figure out what was up. His face was less than a foot from mine and his eyes were staring at my mouth. My heart froze. _No! Not ready yet!_ I held my breath.

He took my napkin from my hand and wiped the sauce that was just off the corner of my mouth very softly. "Breathe, Bella," he said. "I never used to make you this nervous."

I looked down again. "It's not you Jake. You know that. I'm just not…"

He put the napkin on the table and then his hand came up under my chin. He gently moved my face back up toward his. My eyes were afraid to meet his.

"Bells, look at me please."

I looked up hesitantly.

He was staring at my lips again. "I want to kiss you. So much." His eyes met mine. "But, I'll wait if you need me to. I know it's still too soon for you." His thumb lightly touched my lips before removing his hand from my face. We were still staring at each other when we heard a slight cough.

Two of the analysts were standing at the door, looking at the both of us and gawking.

_Great. Now we'll be office gossip. Like I need that too._

~#~

I spent two days in Seattle finishing up rounds of meetings and interviews for the tail-end of the project. Typing up my notes and my instructions for finishing up the model, I sent the notes and the draft document to Greg and Jacob before starting off on my weekend. I was a little nervous as I drove to Forks late Friday afternoon to visit with Charlie. Sometimes my dad could be so observant and more than a little overprotective and nosy, and other times completely clueless. I was kind of hoping I'd get clueless Charlie this weekend. Unfortunately, I was feeling a little guilty; Dad loved it when I cooked for him, but I was too tired after the past several weeks of travel, meetings and late nights. Instead, I offered to treat him to his favorite steak and cobbler dinner at the local diner. As his girlfriend Sue couldn't join us that night, it ended up being just the two of us.

I got my fabulous conversational skills from Charlie. We ate quietly, the dialogue not exactly flowing at first, but that was our way. We spoke when necessary.

"So what have you been up to? How is work?"

"Good. I'm working with a lot of the old people from before B'school, so it is kind of comforting to be back." I paused to take a sip of my Coke. "Remember my manager from the Buenos Aires project?" I doubted that Charlie remembered anything I told him. It was my mom who remembered names, despite her scatterbrained little mind.

"Yes, I remember you telling me about him." _Oh great, I might have the wrong Charlie with me here tonight._

"Yeah, well, I'm working with him again, and also with my friend Jacob."

"Jacob? Jacob, your old boyfriend?" Of course my dad would remember a boyfriend.

"He wasn't exactly my boyfriend, Dad." _I've only ever had one boyfriend. _"But it is that Jacob."

"How is that going? Is it uncomfortable?" he asked.

"No, Jake's been great. We've been hanging out a bit."

"Hanging out? Dating now?" _Yep, wrong Charlie. Damn it._

"No, it's not like that. We just work together and we've been taking boxing classes together."

He raised his eyebrows, a little amused smile on his face. "You've been boxing?"

I rolled my eyes. "Dad, don't act like I'm the same uncoordinated teenager I once was. I do a mean karate chop," I said. "We're taking aerobic boxing. It's kind of fun. I've been getting my exercise in, with that and kickboxing."

"Well, that might explain why you look thinner. You're one lean muscle now, huh?"

I looked down at my plate. It was silent for another long while and then Charlie spoke quietly.

"Bella, if he were here, I'd shoot him. You know that, right? And I'd get away with it."

I knew he wasn't talking about Jacob. _You could try._ "Thanks, Dad."

He was hesitant to ask the next question. "What happened with Edward, Bells? Alice was just here in February talking about wedding plans."

"I guess he changed his mind," I said.

"He ended it? And you don't even know what happened?"

"Sometimes things don't work out, okay? You ought to know that." He was silent as he nodded. "Do we have to talk about it?"

"No Bells, if you don't want to, it's okay."

"Thanks."

"So what do we do with your house?"

"I moved out of the house a few months ago, Dad, to an apartment. Remember?"

"No, Bells, I mean your house, not his."

"I didn't buy anything yet. I need to save up."

Charlie just stared at me and spoke a little more slowly, as if he were talking to a five-year old. "I mean your house that is under construction… the one in the woods?"

_You're trying to tell me something, aren't you? This is like 'Who's on First!' _I shook my head. "What are you talking about?"

"Alice and Jasper bought property here in February. Sue's son Seth showed them around back then and then he helped Alice find some additional local contractors to get hopping on the house over the past two months. It is the talk of the town. I think Alice was thinking you'd get married in it. I guess she hoped that you and Edward would get back together."

I could feel the shock on my face. "What???"

Charlie's brow furrowed. "Do you not know about this? Bells, I got a call from a Mr. Jason Scott, a lawyer. He found out from your office that you'd be here this weekend and he wanted to send over your copies of the paperwork. I got a FedEx this morning at the station; I have it back at home. The house is in your name. I haven't bothered to check it out just yet but from what I've heard around town the place is like a palace."

_A freakin' house. In the middle of nowhere. What the hell am I going to do with that???_

~#~

When we got back home, Charlie handed me a large legal-sized FedEx envelope filled with papers. A business card and a small note from Mr. Scott were clipped to the front of the bundle inside the package. The note indicated that I was to call at any time. _Okay, Mr. Scott. Let's try you on a Saturday morning._ To my surprise he answered and he was eager to meet up with me before I left town. As I had an early afternoon flight out on Sunday, I agreed to meet him before heading to the Seattle airport.

On Sunday, Charlie went fishing and so we said our goodbyes early. Later that morning, I took the paperwork and made my way to Mr. Scott's office. I was more than a little annoyed that I had to deal with this when I had been trying to have a nice relaxing weekend AWAY from all of what I'd left behind in Chicago. _Well, Bella, be civil. It's not his fault._

I parked outside the address on the paperwork and strode up the walk to an open door with a sign on it that said "Jason Scott, Attorney at Law". Standing right by that open door was a short, balding and paunchy man in about his mid-fifties. "Ms. Swan?" he asked.

"Yes, Bella," I replied.

"Jason Scott, the Cullen family lawyer," he said, extending his hand. I shook it and then he gestured to his open office door. I walked in and he closed the door behind us. "Please follow me to my office, Ms. Swan."

We made our way to his rather bland office. He gestured to a chair and I took a seat. Then he moved to sit behind his desk and looked at me. His eyes were curious and a little nervous.

"Well, Ms. Swan, I'm so pleased to meet you. Congratulations on your engagement to Mr. Edward."

My heart dropped into my stomach. _Aw crap, that was what I was afraid of. Will this hell never end?_ I swallowed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Scott. I'm afraid that there must be some mistake and that is why I'm here. Edward and I are no longer engaged. And I don't think the family would want for me to have this house."

His brow furrowed. "I'm sorry to hear that, Ms. Swan. While I have only met Mr. Jasper, I was thrilled to hear that Mr. Edward had finally found his partner." He paused. "Pardon me but may I ask when you and he called off your engagement?"

"In May," I answered quickly. I could give him the exact date, hour, minute and second if he wanted, but I suspected May would suffice.

"Ms. Swan…" he began.

"Bella, please."

"Bella, Mr. Jasper and his wife had these papers drawn for you just a few days ago. Surely they know about the state of your relationship?"

_What the hell?_ I was confused. "Yes, of course they do. I just saw Jasper in June. There must be a mistake. Obviously, I can't keep the house if I'm not going to be part of the family."

"Ms. Sw… Bella, if I may. I have worked for the Cullen family for a long time, as did my partner before me. They are a unique family." He seemed a little frightened.

"Yes they are." _You have NO idea buddy. On second thought, based on that look, maybe you do._

"I have tremendous respect for them," he said carefully. "They are valued clients, as you might imagine." I nodded.

"Therefore," he continued, "you'll forgive me if I say that I must abide by their wishes. If Mr. Jasper indicated that the house should be yours, it must be so. If you choose to sell it after you take possession, it is your choice… but I must complete the transaction for them."

So, now I was having this house forced down my throat. It was bad enough I still had the $30K I tried to return and they wouldn't accept. Were they trying to buy peace of mind? Appease their guilt that one of them had wronged me so much?

I sighed. "Mr. Scott, I wouldn't want to cause any trouble for you. I'll sign the damn papers and then you can tell Jazz… I mean, Jasper and Alice, that you've fulfilled your duties."

~#~

I sat in my car outside of Mr. Scott's office with all of my paperwork. A fucking house. If I kept the stupid thing, I'd never be free of him. I would have to sell it and maybe donate the money to charity. I didn't want any more reminders, not even the proceeds.

I left to make my way to the airport. Trying to distract myself from all of the crap I had to deal with, I made the mistake of turning on the radio. No sooner had I put it on than an old U2 song came on the radio: One. Of course, I was raw after realizing I was still tied to him in some way, so the lyrics were speaking to me. And they were really pissing me off:

_Did I disappoint you?  
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?  
You act like you never had love  
And you want me to go without…_

_One love  
One blood  
One life  
You got to do what you should_

I was hit momentarily by a crazy thought. _Shit, is Bono a vampire too?? Nah, that guy is aging... couldn't be._

"Fucking songs," I muttered. My anger was boiling over. "Fucking house. FUCKING SON OF A BITCH COCKSUCKER EDWARD CULLEN!!!" Yeah, I was mad. The fuck word was flowing freely, more freely than usual. I'd spent too much time with Nicki and Serena and their Sopranos potty mouths.

I pulled off the next exit and looped back the opposite way down the highway. I was going to see this damned house. I'd see about taking a later flight that night.

As I re-entered Forks, I punched in the address on the paperwork in the car's GPS. Funny that it was only a short distance from Charlie's house, but it was deep in the woods. I almost missed the turn-off.

The driveway was long and windy and eventually opened to a clearing. There was the construction site. The house was well on its way to being finished and it was pretty big. I guessed that Esme had designed it… it looked similar to Denali, with all of the big windows and several floors. Even the look of the damned house was a reminder. I'd have to sell it for sure.

I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head. My anger wasn't going away. _God, I wish I could punch something! Kick something!_ Suddenly, I wondered if they'd built a Karate studio for me here like they did in Denali. I looped around the house to see if there was a garage like they had in Alaska. Then the separate structure came into view. Yep, a two story garage. _Who wants to bet that it's up there? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?_

This building was actually complete. I got out of the car and decided to take a look. I found the stairs and made my way up. I used the keys that Mr. Scott had provided when I signed the paperwork to open the door at the top of the stairs.

There it was… a huge beautiful studio, bigger and better than the one in Denali. It was once again all cherry wood and well lit with the big windows. This one wasn't just for Karate. The room could be divided into two distinct halves. The half by the mirror was empty but for the large punching bag in the corner and boxing gloves nearby. That part was almost an exact replica of the one in Alaska.

The other half… well, it was like my old circus school. There was a low single trapeze complete with padding built into the floor underneath it. There were six poles lined up in three rows of two about ten feet apart from each other… like the ones that they climb in the Mystere show in Vegas. There was a bungee rope with a huge hula hoop-type thing attached to the end, just like in O, and there was a rope leading up to the ceiling with a knot about ¾ of the way up: a Spanish Web. The whole studio was already stocked, including a stereo system built into the wall complete with a place for my iPod. I shook my head. _Alice._

And then I looked at the large mirror. _Shit! Is that another surveillance room? _I ran out of the studio and looked for another entrance. I found the other door and ran up the stairs, afraid of whom I might find. I breathed a sigh of relief at finding the surveillance room empty after I was able to unlock the door. I looked out into my studio and I decided then I was going to stay for a while. Alice had built this for me and the least I could do was make use of it once before I sold the whole crappy place. There was a sofa in the surveillance room; if I couldn't find a later flight, I'd just sleep here. I didn't want to go back to Charlie's house and have to explain. I needed to do this, alone.

I went out to my car and got my suitcase and brought it up to the studio. Getting out my thicker yoga pants and a tank top, I changed in the bathroom and tied my hair up in a ponytail. Then I got my iPod out and connected it to the system. Knowing Alice, the electricity would be working. I pressed the power button. Of course it was. _Thanks Alice._ She must have known I'd need to do this. I couldn't be mad at her.

I needed movement. I needed to channel all this hurt and anger and get it out. I needed to leave it behind tonight so that I could move on. I needed to purge myself of Edward Cullen, if that was even possible.

I had no plan. I'd just go wherever the songs took me. To start off, I decided to put on my "Pissed Off and Need to Kick Something" playlist – yes, that was its actual name. Jacob helped me pull this one together one day after our boxing class and we used it quite often when we went to the gym in his building. _Thank God for Jacob._

Who'd have thought that one day I'd be thinking that? The boy made me so crazy all of those years ago… and now he was helping me through my hurt with a different dumbass guy. I'd lived to see the day that Jacob admitted his mistake; I wondered if stupid Edward would ever regret HIS actions. Truthfully, part of me hoped that I'd get a chance to see him beg for forgiveness... preferably on his knees. _Heh heh, asshole!_ But the more civilized part of me hoped that if he did regret what he'd done that he wouldn't bother to tell me after I'd moved on. _Keep it to yourself, Cullen. After this night, I hope I never think of you again._

Which, I knew, was very unlikely, but hopefully, if I did think of him, the pain would be substantially lessened. Of course, if I just burned down the whole fucking house and studio, that would be a real purge, wouldn't it? _YEAH!_ Nah, I wouldn't do that, although it felt great to think about it. No, it would be best to sell it and do something good for someone with whatever I could get for it.

I scrolled through the Pissed Off playlist and checked the songs for the tempo. Yeah, these would be good to start with. I pressed Random and then Play.

Billy Joel – "Pressure". I put on the boxing gloves and started punching and kicking the bag. It felt great! But as the song moved on, the vision in my head shifted and I started imagining the trapeze with this song. I removed the gloves and took a forceful long run at the single trapeze. I quickly lifted my butt up and hooked my knees to the bar, hanging upside down as the swing swayed back and forth with my movement. Then I swung my body up to reach for the chains above the bar and climbed up.

Building momentum and height, I swung back and forth, kicking my legs out and pulling back on the two chains holding me up to pump up the swing. When it was high enough, I timed my fall back at the back end of the swing, held myself by my knees again and let go at the peak of the front end, kicking my legs down to land on my feet. I stuck the landing as Billy Joel yelled out "Pressure!" _Perfect 10!_

The next song that came on was Korn – "Word Up!" That was clearly just a rockin' song. I spent time punching and kicking the hell out of the bag. Then Genesis – "No Reply at All" - fitting song since I was trying to purge the asshole who just up and disappeared on me. I kept the boxing gloves on and continued knocking the punching bag. God it felt good. It was definitely cathartic.

But as I punched the thing, I started thinking of an entirely different Genesis song. It wasn't MY song, the one I once loved and had seen my visions put to reality on the ice so long ago. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure if I'd ever listen to that again. No, the one I was thinking of in that moment was in fact an older medley from a CD that Charlie bought me and that I took to Dartmouth with me. I hadn't thought of that song in years. I used to drive Nicole crazy with that one, playing it every day a bit too early in the morning. In fact, when she and I competed in The Roommate Game in our dorm our Senior Year - it was the college version of that old game show The Newlywed Game - she named this as my most annoying habit.

Yeah, it was a perfect song to work out all of my anger. I ran to the iPod and scrolled through to find it. Genesis's "In The Cage" medley from the Three Sides Live CD. This was a VERY long song at almost 12 minutes. I punched it up.

Years ago, when I use to listen to this, I had conjured up an entire - admittedly weird - stage production in my head. It involved a prison, cellmates who broke out of jail and escaped, and their reunion on the outside trying to find love and live a normal life. It was actually quite involved. _Hmmm._ With The Shawshank Redemption as my favorite movie, I'd clearly need to talk to that psychiatrist at some point to work out my fascination with prisons for sure. The shrink probably would tell me that I had some secret fantasy about being held captive and tied up… _Hmmm, do I? I'm sure Edward would have tested that theory. Yeesh._ I shook my head, not wanting to know.

I decided to stop worrying about any odd fetishes at that moment. Instead, I wanted to see if I could rebuild that old routine with this crazy, fast and intense song in this well-stocked room. I wanted to be free.

_Nope, I'm not flying back to Chicago tonight._

* * *

**A/N 2: You go Bella! Get it all out. **

**Thank you for reading so far. PLEASE leave feedback…**

_Post A/N: Thanks again to those of you who've continued to read this, leave me feedback and/or put me on alerts or favorite lists. I actually check out each of your profiles when you do that to see what you say about yourself, where you're from and what else you're reading. You've pointed me to some great stuff... _


	16. Shattered Cage

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**The fabulous Afterglow belongs to Mr. Tony Banks and Genesis.**

****_A/N 1: Here we go, folks..._

**

* * *

Chapter 16: Shattered Cage**

**EPOV**

I returned home that Friday afternoon after speaking with Jacob and sat in my study, mentally preparing myself for the trip. I was overwhelmed with a myriad of feelings flooding me all at once. I was excited at the thought that I was going to see her again. My body was tingling, all nerve endings coming alive after all of these months; I ached to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her.

However, there, going toe-to-toe with my giddy excitement was a real sense of fear. Jacob basically said he'd step aside for me, but what if she didn't love me as he believed? What would I do?

Obviously aware of how events unfolded with Jacob, Alice called me and told me that she and Jasper would meet me in Seattle. And then she told me that I should fly, not drive there. As I trusted her advice implicitly - and my Volvo was still in long-term parking at the Atlanta airport - I did as she asked. However, as I started to make flight arrangements I immediately became frustrated when, for what eventually turned out to be a ridiculous and ironic reason, I couldn't find a flight out to Seattle until Sunday. All flights to Seattle - and I mean all - were booked! I checked the surrounding smaller airports and even to Vancouver but to no avail. While I toyed with just renting a car to get out there, Alice insisted that we stick to the plan of flying and meeting on Sunday at the airport. This delay did nothing to calm my frayed nerves, but it gave me an extra day to think of all of the things that I wanted to tell Bella.

Landing at Sea-Tac Sunday afternoon, I found my whole family waiting for me, much to my surprise… and my frozen heart melted. I needed all the moral support here they could spare as I undertook the biggest endeavor of my life: winning back the affections of the love of my existence. With hugs and shoulder pats all around, we made our way to the rental car agency, and that's when I became aware of the most ludicrous situation swirling around us.

There were women dressed in tight Elvira, Lily Munster, and Morticia Adams garb… you name the sexy Goth character and there had to have been one there. Then there were the men! Hair slicked back with black capes and pale pancake make-up on their faces. Or punked-out and pierced guys in jeans and shoulder padded jackets. Or in tuxedo with tails and top hat and God-damned little round sunglasses with blue tinted lenses. Yes, Seattle was hosting a fucking vampire convention, and most of the fools around us were human. For this, I was unable to get a flight out until Sunday!

My family and I made our way out of the airport, rolling our eyes, shaking our heads and raising our eyebrows at several of the real vampires who were among the throngs arriving for the event. They made like gestures right back at us. I did a double-take when I saw my pal Vlad wandering around. It took all my will not to take him somewhere and teach him another lesson; instead, I bumped him on the shoulder and glared. His eyes widened when he saw me. _Fuck me_... he thought as he moved away as quickly as humanly possible.

With priority rental at all agencies, we were able to obtain two cars to get us on our way. I rode with Jasper, who thankfully kept me calm along the way, and Alice, who hummed a number of annoying tunes in a blatant attempt to keep me out of her head. It was obvious that she knew something that she wasn't sharing. It was almost a four hour trip if one drove at normal human speed, but we made it in two. I was prepared to go to Charlie's house to see her when Alice clued me in on a change in the plan. "She's at the new house, Edward. She's in her studio."

The lights were on in the studio when we drove up. A single car, clearly a rental, was parked right outside. We pulled up alongside of it and suddenly all of my excitement had a big anvil of ACME panic come slamming down on it from the sky. All of the things I'd planned on saying over the past two days sounded stupid in my mind. Would she even speak to me? Would she listen to what I had to say? What would her reaction be?

"Jasper," I whispered, "I think I'm going to need your help. Please keep me calm."

"Yeah, I can feel it already. I'll do my best," he said nodding at me.

"It'll be okay, Edward," Alice said.

We could hear Genesis playing as we entered up the back way into the surveillance room. And there, as expected, was Bella… looking heartbreakingly beautiful in a tank top and yoga bottoms. Her hair was in a pony tail and based on the length of it, she'd cut it: it looked about four inches shorter. She was noticeably leaner and her muscles had more definition; I didn't think it possible but her body was looking even better than before! _Christ!_ And her cheeks were pink, flushed from the activity already underway in her studio. I closed my eyes and reached for the window ledge to keep me steady. _Dear God, I've missed her so much._

"Alice, what is with this studio?" Emmett asked. "It looks like Ringling Brothers exploded in here!"

"Shut up, Em," she hissed. "I knew that Bella would love this."

I vaguely recognized the song playing. I had heard it when I first tried to discover the song that she listened to when walking to school. She was listening to the live version of it, the "In the Cage" Medley. Bella had boxing gloves on and she was at the punching bag, hitting and kicking. Shortly after we entered the room, she removed the gloves and then took a running leap at the low trapeze bar. She hooked her legs over it and hung upside down for a few swings until she climbed up and made the trapeze swing back and forth. Coordinating her fall with the words and music, she threw herself backward at the top of the arc and released her legs at the other end of the arc, landing on her feet.

"Well, I guess this explains the trapeze vision that Alice saw with the two of you," Emmett said, laughing. It was Rosalie who hit him in the head this time. "Ow, Rose!" Then he looked at me. "Okay, so how does she know how to do that?"

Rosalie looked at him. "Don't you know? Bella was in circus school once."

"Get out! I thought she just liked to watch those crazy Cirque shows. Edward, you're a fool if you let her go again. This is the coolest human ever." _And don't forget: bendy! Dude, remember Alice's vision? Fuckin' awesome, man!_

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. Bendy Bella was the least of my concerns right now. Just seeing her was drawing me in. I was panicked. "Jazz," I reminded him, "please make sure that you help me." Thankfully I couldn't smell her and her energy level was probably at a four, I guessed. But should it escalate and should I take in her scent, I was afraid I'd get overpowered again.

My family watched in awe once again as she leapt around the room, moving at one point to the punching bag and then to the empty karate floor lunging and jumping, going down on her knees for a beat or two, only to leap up and dance in a different direction. She would grab onto the poles and spin around them and then run back to the trapeze to do a pull up, spin once on the bar and then come back to the ground to continue dancing. I could hear their admiration for the unique being who moved all around that room,. but none of it matched the adoration I could feel pouring out of me.

The speakers played a rapid musical interlude courtesy of the band's synthesizer and at this point Bella was spinning on the hoop. And then she let go and moved back to the punching bag, doing side kicks. I made my first bargain with God in that moment. _Dear God, if she comes back to me, I promise that I will learn every one of Tony Banks' solos and play them for her any time that she wants._

The song had some odd lyrics, a fantastic imagined world of dangling cages and suffering, but the overall meaning was clear: a man was imprisoned somehow and he wanted out. At the peak of the music, before it changed, the vocals became fast and more furious about getting out of the cage.

I noticed that Jasper's body position began to mirror my own as he leaned on the window ledge, trying to keep himself steady and I quickly became aware of the difficulty he was having managing his own emotions, let alone mine. "Edward, this isn't like Denali when she calmed herself with Karate. There is a lot of anger in this song and Bella is both absorbing it and releasing it. It is building up in there."

"Dude," Emmett said, "you are in deep shit. You know her temper."

I did.

And part of me wanted to see it again _soooo_ much.

The music was going faster and faster and Bella was moving just as fast. She was leaping between poles, holding on and kicking up, one leg stretched out, the other bent below. Then she would move to the next pole and do the same in the opposite direction. She was spinning around each pole and finally moved to the center of the room, pirouetting and timing her turns to match Phil Collins' words as he sang - almost instructing her - to rotate to the word 'round' over and over.

Her energy was up to a seven but that wasn't high enough for me. I needed to hear what she was thinking. I was desperate to hear her mind. _Come on, Bella,_ I thought, willing her energy to escalate. _Come on. Get it up. Please. Elevate. Go. Go. _The singing ended with Phil's last cries – 'Get me out of this cage!' –then the music began to slow down, transitioning to the next part of the medley. My heart started to sink with the notion that her energy would lower as the song slowed.

She moved like a caged tiger, pacing backward against the wall far across from us, looking around the room and clearly watching some other movement taking place on the 'stage' in front of her in her mind. As the drum beats slowed and Tony's keyboard took the tune to a higher, almost happier place, Bella took a run toward us and then slid across the floor on her shins, her back arched over her ankles, her head looking up at the ceiling. As she slowed her slide across the floor, she suddenly whipped out her arms, stretching them out to her sides, her palms facing outward toward the windows directly on both sides of her body…

…and the windows shattered.

My whole family looked on in shock and the reactions were simultaneous. My body froze, as I let go of the window frame, stood up straight and clenched my hands into fists at my side. Esme and Rosalie gasped. "Holy shit!" Emmett and Jasper breathed at the same time. It even got a reaction out of Carlisle. "Wow…" he said softly.

Alice, however, was not surprised. "Yeah!" she shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

Esme looked at me and then Alice. "Did she do that?"

Alice smiled. "You bet your ass she did..." she said happily. _Ah, Alice, of course you knew all along... my blood... my power._ I tried to see what else Alice knew, but she blocked me. _Just let it happen as it should, Edward,_ she thought.

Bella looked just as surprised as we were. She gasped and her head whipped to the left to look at the broken window and then to the right. She looked down at her hands and then back at the windows. Her mouth was open and her eyes wide as she realized what she'd done. Then she looked up toward the ceiling, her face broke into a smile, and her eyes gleamed. Her face was radiant… my personal sun was shining in that room once more, and her energy escalated to an eight as she laughed and scrambled to her feet.

I inhaled sharply and held my breath as her mind suddenly opened up to me. The music was magnified as I heard it coming from her head as well as from the speakers. I could see what she was seeing. And it was astounding.

I'd never seen Bella's thoughts put to music. She had an entire stage production going on in that crazy, wonderful head of hers. She and her fellow 'prison escapees' were trying to blend into a city scene, so they were watching the others nearby dance and then matching them. So she stayed still, on occasion, taking it all in the way her stage character was doing. From all outside appearances, her eyes looked like she was watching something. With her, inside her head, I was witness to it all.

Emmett was confused, however. "The girl is losing her mind," he said. "Why is she just standing there?"

"She's visualizing an entire production number in her head. I wish you all could see it. It's… it's unbelievable!" Bella's inner choreography was amazing. It occurred to me at that moment that business might not be her calling.

At one point she grabbed her water bottle and leaned against the bar along the window, her back to us. I could still see the scene in her head and it was one in which her 'character' was off stage so she enjoyed a small swig and a break in her activity. She was mere inches away from me, separated only by the glass. I could see the perspiration on her neck, the hair at her nape glistening. I could see her flushed body moving, breathing heavily from her exercise. I moved to stand directly behind her and I lightly caressed the glass, imagining that all barriers I had stupidly created – physical and emotional – were shattered and that she was in my arms once again.

As the medley ran toward its conclusion, the vision in her head was so... happy. Bella was smiling as she and her three former 'inmates' – who she had imagined to be her best friends Angela, Serena and Nicole – were dancing with the other people it the city scene, at least 12 people moving in sync. The music slowed to the final part of the song, and in her vision each of her friends left to go their own way.

She first waved goodbye to Nicole who twirled off stage with her partner. Next she and Serena blew each other a kiss before Serena left the scene dancing with her partner. And then she and Angela reached out and playfully slapped hands before Angela glided off stage with her partner.

Finally, she was left alone. Bella's hand was above her head and she was twirling, matching the vision in her head of being twirled by her yet unseen partner around and around. The twirling slowed and Bella bowed with a slight curtsy to her partner. And then she looked up at the person with whom she had been happily dancing as he bowed, kissed her hand and stepped away, waving goodbye as he faded off.

I inhaled sharply as I took in the picture of who was dancing with her in her vision… me. And then the image disappeared suddenly, as her energy plummeted. Bella's face froze as she too realized who she had seen and she stiffened, her body shaking and her eyes welling up as she fought off tears. I guess that she was as surprised to see me in her vision as I was.

The second I saw myself, my heart leapt. She had pictured me as her partner! ME! But just as instantly, my hopes crumbled when I saw how upset seeing me had made her. She stood in the room, small and shaking. Then I started to sink… I felt my anxiety start to take over.

At the same time, Jasper suddenly gasped and staggered back to the sofa, his hands coming to his head balled in fists.

Alice was at his side in a flash. "Jazz! Are you okay?"

Jasper moaned._ What just happened? Edward? What the hell just happened?! The two of you imploded at the same time!_

"It's me," I whispered. "Oh no… it's me… it's me. I'm her partner… and she's miserable. I did that. I did. I did."

Emmett looked over. "What the hell are you muttering about? What do you mean 'it's me?' Speak English!"

For over 85 years, I had been so sure of myself. I made decisions and moved on. I didn't need support... I was the support for them. Yet here I was, this night, so hesitant, so unsure... so afraid. All of their thoughts came flooding at me before they actually spoke and they were all of one mind. I held my breath, listening to each of them, all of their words ringing true in my head and my heart, helping me with what I so wanted and needed to do.

Jasper grabbed on to Alice and hugged her to him tightly. "Oh God, Edward, I can't take this," Jasper said. "I'm getting it from both sides. She's devastated in there… and you're matching her emotions exactly. You have to get in there and talk with her. Go tell her why you left!"

Carlisle agreed. "Son, you belong with her. She needs to know why you did what you did and how you still feel. This separation will only destroy you both. For your sake and hers, you must go to her."

"I don't think she wants to see me," I said. "You didn't see what I just saw. Look at her in there! I'm the cause of her pain over and over!"

"Edward, you also brought her extreme joy. We all saw the way you two were with each other. It doesn't go away that quickly for anyone, not in the span of only three months," Esme said softly.

"I'm with them. She's gonna be pissed off at you," Emmett said, "but damn, that pain is there because she still feels something for you." _You're going to have to get in there and take whatever shit she throws your way._

Rosalie was more concise. "For God's sake, grow a pair and get your ass in there!"

_Edward,_ Alice thought, still holding on to Jasper, _go now. She's purging you; she's trying to release you so that she can move on. You need to be with her and she with you. Don't waver this time or Carlisle is right… it will be the end for both of you._

Bella's eyes were glassy as she recovered from her shock and began moving to the music again. She mouthed the words as she slowly moved around the room. I recognized the song now playing. The medley had transitioned to "Afterglow"... the song that didn't make her Stupid Guy playlist. I remembered when she first played it for me:

"_Edward, listen to these words with this music. It is a song of such incredible longing and loss," she said, shaking her head. "No one should ever feel like this." _

Her eyes were still glassy as she walked slowly to the mirror, not looking at herself but rather at someone else in her mind. She stretched her right arm out and then she put her hand up to the mirror as if she were touching the other person. I moved to stand across from her and put my hand up to hers on the other side of the glass. Her eyes were gazing into mine through the mirror, a tear rolling down her cheek. Standing here in this room, I heard Phil's words wash over my body realizing that that my family was right. Bella and I… we both felt the same, on either side of this chasm that I had created. It was as if they were words meant only for me… for her… for us. I could see from her face as she whispered the words that she felt it too... and I believed in that instant that she was reaching out for me.

_But I would search everywhere, just to hear your call  
And walk upon stranger roads than this one, in a world I used to know before  
But now, now, now I've lost everything and I give to you… I give to you my soul  
And the meaning of all that I believed before escapes me, in this world of none  
Because I miss you more  
I miss you more…_

She closed the hand up against the mirror into a fist and spun away running to the rope after the word 'soul.' She quickly climbed up and stuck one hand in the loop and began twisting and spinning around in the air. She hadn't mentioned she'd learned how to do the Spanish Web when she was in circus school. I shook my head. She was so unbelievably amazing... and I was the stupidest being on the planet for running from her. I hoped that in this instance, this stupid guy wouldn't be too late. If I had to get on my knees and beg, I would do it.

I ghosted from the surveillance room and up into her studio. With all of the resolve that I could possibly muster, I held myself back for a moment. Her sweat was magnifying her scent… my scent… our scent. It was literally calling my name; it was singing to me. It would drive me mad if I didn't watch myself.

The music was ending and she slid down the rope and crumpled there on the floor. As the crowd cheered at the end of this live song, I stepped into the room, and I mentally shut off the iPod and stood with my hands in my pockets behind her. Then I took a big breath.

"Hello Bella," I said.

* * *

**A/N 2: Ruh-roh. Showdown. Thank you for staying with the story. **

**You know the drill... I ask and I hope that you'll tell: please leave feedback!**

_Post A/Ns: Like the reveal at the pond in AAVIC, this chapter comes complete with the soundtrack… and so if you are interested, you can go Youtube, type in Genesis Afterglow and find one of two versions:_

_1. swordphishtrombones has the live version from the 2007 concert tour in Dusseldorf. Pretty good quality. Bella leaves the mirror at 3:08. Edward turns off the iPod right at the end before the cheering has stopped. (The Three Sides Live tour actually took place in 1981.)_

_2. AlexMex54 has one which has Phil and Tony playing a slower 'Unplugged' version. Actually there are a lot of versions out there... it is considered a signature Genesis concert song. _

_(FYI: The In The Cage lyrics make no sense. Had to be some weird Peter Gabriel and/or drug-induced influence there... But it is an angry song on the Three Sides Live CD and, when played in concert, they always transition to Afterglow, which made it perfect for this.)_

_What can I say? I had to play the songs a gazillion times in order to write this chapter... it is a good thing that I love them._

*** But as the title of this story is related to both the blood and the song, I'll give Afterglow all of the credit it is due.***


	17. The Gloves Come Off

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 17: The Gloves Come Off**

**BPOV**

So, yeah.

About those five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

I thought that I had skipped the first three stages and moved straight to depression, so that now I was here in my studio purging, finally moving to acceptance mode.

And then Edward reappeared.

I'd often told him that I wasn't like other people. Time and time again, I'd proven it.

I was about to prove it again. I was going to go backward on this 'stages of grief' thing…

My anger was about to rear its very ugly head.

~#~

I wasn't prepared for the sight of Edward in my imagination as the medley transitioned to "Afterglow". When I had originally imagined this production while taking my dance classes at Dartmouth, I had no boyfriend or real love interest and so I never had a clear image of my partner in the dance. The guy was faceless… just the person my stage character had met once she was out of captivity, fell in love with and then lost when she realized it was all a dream.

How ironic. The dance I'd first imagined when I was in college was a foreshadowing of my life five years later. Someone who freed me through his love, only to put me back in my own cage when he left me.

Luckily, he left me with this strange gift. I'd always wanted to have The Force ever since the first time I saw Yoda pick up that X-wing out of the swamp, and unbeknownst to me, I had it. I could shatter glass just by thinking about it. I guessed that his blood once again mingling with mine after our last night together had done this. I wondered what else I could do. I guessed I'd have to work on it when I returned to Chicago.

My emotions felt like they were on the worst roller coaster ride imaginable. I went from real anger as Phil Collins shouted of breaking free of his bonds to unadulterated joy when I realized I had this new ability to utmost despair at the sight of my partner in the dance. My heart felt like it was smashed in little pieces along with the glass as I watched my imaginary Edward kiss my hand and back away from me, disappearing from the image in my head. I desperately fought back tears, my throat tight as I listened to the words of "Afterglow". I continued through the song; I needed to cleanse my aura, my brain and my soul of him, despite the pain it brought me at that moment. It was such a sad song: whenever my dad used to play it, I swear I saw him tear up - I think it reminded him of losing my mom.

As I'd told Edward on the plane to Vegas, it was a song of real loss. Someone died, I had thought. Yes, that someone was me. Actually, it was us. We died. Our love died.

I tried to keep moving, holding on to a pole with one hand and spinning around it, releasing and moving on to the next pole. Finally, the last stanza came, the one with the most force behind Phil's voice. I went to the mirror and allowed my mind to see Edward once more. I reached out to him, put a hand against the mirror and imagined his hand touching mine. Then I realized I needed more movement to finish out the piece. I needed to spin. I needed to be dizzy. I needed to wear myself out so that maybe I would finally sleep a night without seeing his face.

And so I began to climb the rope as Phil continued singing the last lines. I reached the loop and hooked my wrist tightly into it just as he sang the last words before the finale transitioned to just the music. Using my other hand to reach about three feet below the loop, I started rocking myself until I began to spin. I spun myself as fast as I could, knowing I'd be dizzy when I was finished. The speed made my heated face cool. I was tired. My body was being driven by adrenaline only. I was exhilarated.

I slowed only to switch wrists in the loop and change the spinning direction as the music continued. And I realized then, as I spun so high in the air in my beautiful studio, that Angela had been right. Someday I'd dance and fly again. That time was now… and I knew that I was going to be okay. I'd make it through eventually. I felt myself letting go.

As the music slowed to the final beats, I slowed as well and pulled my hand out of the knot so that I could climb down the rope. With the last beats of the drums, I crumpled at the bottom of the rope, gaining back my equilibrium, breathing heavily, my body and my soul both physically spent and emotionally tired. I listened to the crowd cheer as the live song started to fade. And then abruptly the cheering stopped. I had barely registered the fact that it should have been ongoing when I heard the voice.

"Hello Bella."

My head snapped up to look over my shoulder. After all this time, there he was.

Edward.

_Fuck. This shitty day will never end._

~#~#~

Have you ever broken up with someone and hoped that the next time you ran into him or her, if ever again, that you were looking impossibly stunning and they were looking crappy?

Yeah. Not happening here.

I was sitting on the floor in workout clothes, my body flushed from the exercise and my neck and face glistening with perspiration. And he was looking like his usual GQ self. _Shit._ I closed my eyes and swiveled my head on my neck from one side to the other. "That's nice," I said in my sweet Bella-really-isn't-happy-with-this-situation voice.

Man, at that moment I wished I was Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark. She took a look at Indiana Jones reappearing so many years after he left her, gave him a huge smile and then clocked him one in the chin, watching him stagger back from the punch. That would be awesome. If I did that to Edward, however, I'd probably break my hand.

So here it was, the moment at last I had been both dreading and secretly waiting for all these months… and I was at a loss for words.

I stood up and faced him. "What are you doing here?" I blurted out. _Great opener. Should have clocked him instead and risked the injury._

"I could ask the same of you. This is our house," he said calmly. Interestingly, the tone was calm but I could sense that he was masking a pile of other emotions.

My eyes narrowed. "Our what?" I asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You said it is "our" house. Clarify 'our.'"

His brow furrowed. "Ours. Yours, mine, the whole Cullen family."

I was beginning to get pissed off at how impassive he was. Clearly he didn't care enough for me given his actions – leaving in the middle of the night with a crappy note, never getting in touch with me to see how I was, not even after I was once again almost killed. I mean, I had known that he hadn't cared all of this time but hearing and seeing him speak to me with such little emotion... GRRR! I could feel my blood starting to boil. I tried to keep it in check.

"Not quite, pal. Yeah, your family built it so that we could stay somewhere when we visited Charlie after we were married, complete with a studio for your little wife," I said, gesturing around me. "But the house is actually in my name. Therefore it is MY house. And I decided to visit MY studio. So, again, what are YOU doing here?"

My energy was up enough now for me to hear him… and this information about the house was clearly new to him.

"I was looking for you," he said, his voice huskier than I think he intended. I realized that I could feel him. I could feel... lust? Yes, it was lust, desire. It was tangible, like a wave shooting toward me, wrapping me in a second skin. For a second, I wondered if Jasper experienced other people's emotions the way I was feeling his… and then I froze. _Jasper… his blood. Ah, no wonder I could feel Jacob... Oh no... _I exhaled.

I looked at the mirror behind him and then back at him. "Are they all here?" He just stared at me with his deep green eyes, his hands in his pockets. He was busying his mind, purposely trying to block me. So I asked again. "Are they?"

"Leave them out of it."

"Leave them out of it?" I spat. "If they hadn't been IN it, I wouldn't be standing here right now, as I'm sure you know. So, no, I don't think I'll be listening to you right now. I'm alive thanks to THEM."

I walked to the corner of the room where there were a pile of towels and grabbed one. I poured some water from the bottle sitting there and used it to wipe my face and neck. Taking a swig from the bottle, I put the towel behind my neck, walked over to the mirror and looked at myself in it, standing about ten feet away. Absolutely positive that they were behind it watching, I waved. "Hi," I said. "I think it would be best if you left now."

I waited. And I knew they probably hadn't moved. I looked at Edward in the reflection. He was standing in the same spot but had shifted his body to follow my movement and he was still staring at me. I could feel him. He was holding back… but why? What was driving it? Anger? Guilt? Knowing he would be able to hear them if they were outside of the property by now, I asked him, "Are they still there?" He stayed silent in word and thought.

I looked back at the mirror and continued staring, knowing they wouldn't do it without incentive. "Please, I beg of you, just go. You have until the count of five, and I know you can move faster than that." I began counting. "Five… four… three… two… one." _Ok, how's this for incentive?_

"LEAVE US!" I screamed and I mentally imagined the mirror cracking and falling down to the ground in shards.

Which is exactly what it did.

There they were, at first ducking from the shards, until they realized how I'd made the glass fall as to avoid hitting anyone. As they straightened up to stare at me, their collective sets of eyes looked at me with a mixture of sadness and shock. Worse yet, I could feel their pity and sorrow. And I could still feel Edward's desire.

"I need to talk to Edward alone. Please leave us."

I could feel it getting calm but I cut that off immediately. "No Jasper!" I shouted, my left hand shooting out in his direction. Mentally, I imagined pushing him away from me. Jasper staggered back and the calming waves ceased. "Don't you dare! I don't know how the Tin Man over there," gesturing at Edward, "is doing… but anger is the only thing holding me together right now. If you make me calm, I'll go nuts."

I could hear them thinking at Edward.

_Holy shit, Edward, she has your power alright! _Emmett thought.

I turned to Emmett. "Yes, I do." Then I looked at Jasper. "And apparently I have some of yours too now, Jazz. Lucky me: I'm a Mutant," I said sarcastically. I looked at Alice. "Come on over Alice and let me have a taste of you too. Maybe I'll be able to see how this ends and spare myself all of the getting there part."

I took a deep breath and tried to tone it down, even though I was still pissed off. "I'm sorry for pushing you, Jasper," I said, looking him in the eyes. "I just don't want you to interfere."

And then I made eye contact with each of them. "I do need for you to go. This is between me and Edward, and I can feel that you're worried for him. There's no need. I won't hurt him." I paused to look at him over my shoulder and then back at them. "At least not any worse than he's done to me."

Carlisle tried to speak. I held out my hand to stop him. "Please no. I'm serious. I won't physically harm him. You know that I can't. He's still more powerful than I am."

Rosalie spoke. "No matter how this ends up, we love you Bella. And so does he," she said, gesturing to Edward with her head, "despite his asinine behavior to date."

Edward hissed at her, "Rose!"

I could hear her thoughts in his head. _Screw you Edward. We all know it's true, so we might as well get it out there. That's why we're here._

I nodded at her and looked at them with eyes as gentle as I could muster in my livid state. "Thank you all... for everything."

Carlisle reached for Esme's hand. "Let's go," he said gently. "We'll be at the house." Esme's eyes were soft as she blew a kiss toward me and turned away with Carlisle.

Rosalie grabbed Emmett's hand and said, "We will always be your family, Bella, no matter what decision you two come to tonight." "See ya, kid," Emmett said, winking at me as they made their way toward the door.

And finally Alice smiled widely as she spoke. "You say whatever you want and need to say, Bella," she said. "Don't hold back."

I could hear Edward's thoughts as he tried to figure out what she meant by that and he was frustrated that Alice seemed to know something else that he didn't.

Jasper smiled a gentle smile too as he put his hand in the Vulcan salute to me and nodded. Then he and Alice turned and left.

I couldn't help but smile back as I watched them turn from me and exit the surveillance room.

And then happy time was over.

I turned to face him. "Why are you here, Edward?"

"I came to see you." He took a step toward me but paused when I held out my palm indicating for him to stop. "Rosalie spoke the truth. I won't hide it. I love you, Bella," he said softly.

"You have a funny way of showing it," I answered quickly.

"The bond is permanent."

My blood started boiling again. I was emotionally and physically tired and yet I could feel my anger rising and my energy surging. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means," I said doing my best Inigo Montoya imitation. But then I started getting louder and spoke slowly, enunciating each word. I walked toward him as I spoke. "See, PERMANENT to me means never changing. FIXED. Not RUNS AWAY from the woman he claimed he'd love forever."

I was up in Edward's face now. He was holding his breath but I could feel his attraction. _Christ, Bella, please… you smell so good… your sweat, your scent…_ "Are you turned on right now?" I asked. _YES_… "I know how much you loove my anger…" His face was stone, his eyes following mine, but I heard him and felt him… he was radiating desire.

I backed away from him with my palms splayed outward toward him, my fingers toward the floor. My head was shaking. _Well, pal, hold on to your hat. You ain't seen nothing yet._

"I almost killed you," he said.

"You were going to take my human life anyway!"

"I lost control. I didn't know if I could do it… and the fact that I couldn't be sure: I had to go."

"Yeah, you explained that so well in the note."

"I was distraught! I didn't know what to say. I left for your own good..."

"For my own good. Ah, I can see that," I nodded. "And not contacting me over the past few months to explain, that was for my own good as well?"

"I thought a clean break would be best for you," he said softly.

"Best for me." I repeated. I crossed my arms in front of me. "So then why are you back?"

"I love you, Bella. I couldn't stay away any longer. I was wrong to..."

I, I, I. This was all bullshit. I cut him off. "Did you know that Jacob works in the Chicago office now, Edward?"

He seemed surprised by the question. "Yes. I went to see you and I found him there."

"He's been a good friend over the last few months. I'm pretty sure he still loves me. Would you believe that? He hasn't said it. I just know like I've always known."

"I know that he does," he said quietly. "He told me."

"Is he part of your 'what's good for Bella' plan? Do you want me to be with him?"

"No, I don't want you to be with him. But if that is your choice, I must accept it."

I blinked. "Huh." _He must accept it. Asshole._ "Wow, I meant that much to you? To give up so easily. Reaally, so you're good at that – giving up. Glad to hear it."

I felt Edward's reaction immediately; he was stung... and then I became aware of an undercurrent of another emotion below Edward's poker faced exterior when I mentioned Jacob. _Interesting. _His words were saying one thing but his feelings were telling me something else.

I moved to the iPod and started flipping through songs. I went back to my "Pissed Off" playlist and continued where I left off. The next song was loud and would be good for the punching bag. Moreover, it was appropriate for where I planned to take this conversation... it was going to be ugly; I was not going to hold back. Given Edward's emotional state and the desire he was radiating, I knew then what buttons I needed to push. I turned it on and went over to put on the gloves. I talked over the words. The Killers – "Mr. Brightside".

I started punching the bag. "So if I go back to Chicago and renew my past physical relationship with Jacob, it doesn't matter to you. I find that funny." I stopped punching the bag and looked at him. "A year ago, you hit the roof when you found out I'd _seen_ his dick… I didn't know that you'd be okay with it actually _inside_ of me."

His eyes flashed anger before he closed them. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "Bella, don't talk like that! That's not you..."

"What do you know about me?" He opened his eyes. They were rapidly showing anger as they stared furiously into mine. "Apparently not much, considering your actions." I did side kicks at the bag as the lead singer sang about the scene he was imagining of his girl with another man. I let that image flow through my head. My anger was escalating rapidly. I'd be above eight very soon, and then he'd get a show…

I turned around and walked toward him again, removing the gloves and throwing them to the ground. "Anyway, why do you care if another man touches me? If Jacob touches me? That's what you want for me, isn't it? For me to move on?" I walked past him and moved over to a pole that was directly across from him and leaned against it so that it was squarely between my shoulder blades. I stared into his eyes. They were darkening by the second.

I knew that Edward could hear me and see what I was thinking now. I conjured up images of any other guy that had ever kissed or touched me. Mike Newton at the formal. Air Force Sam and his minty kiss. Embry at my birthday party. Octopus Andy from my dorm. Edward's eyes were furious as he stared at me. I could hear see, hear and feel his anger, his jealousy and his lust… and I was absorbing it with my new Jasper power… which only served to feed the fire.

Watching him get angry thrilled me. I hoped he could feel just one-tenth of my hurt. And I was so pissed off. Vulcan Bella was nowhere to be found that night. I'm not sure if I'd ever allowed myself to feel this way… it was pouring out of me and I was losing control. It made me bolder than I'd ever been. "Jacob is so close now. I see him every day. I'm really glad that you've given me permission to be with him. Just think about it Edward. Jacob's hands and mouth right here." I said, arching my back and gently touching my breasts. "Jacob's face right here," I said, gesturing at my crotch, rubbing myself on the outside of my pants. Then I moved my hand up to the edge of my pants and then back down inside of them, touching myself inside. "Jacob, in all of his glory, right here... right inside of me."

And then I gave him some old images of Jacob, when I used to be attracted to him in a physical way. The few times we'd messed around. Our Sunday night dinners together. His hands moving over my body… starting off innocently and getting a little heated as he started touching my breasts or kissing my lips. I didn't have much to go on with Jacob since our truly intimate past was so brief, but it would be enough… and I just let my imagination go.

_FUCK JACOB!_ I heard him mutter in his brain. "Bella, cut that out!" he shouted. And he ghosted to me standing about three feet away.

"No Edward. You left me. You don't get to tell me what to do." I stepped closer to him, looking him in the eyes, my anger the only thing holding me together with his wonderful smell so close to me. "That's what you want for me? For my own good, no?" I whispered.

He looked at me furiously. "You're mine…" he hissed. He flooded his head with images of me, him, us. His mouth and tongue working my body - on my breasts, down my stomach, down lower sucking and licking at my folds. His naked body on mine entering me slowly, our bodies rocking together.

_God damn him! _"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed.

* * *

**A/N: Oooh, there is a lot of rage in that room. I wonder what will happen??? Um, well, actually, I'm kind of like Alice: I already know... **

**But I don't know what you're thinking... Please leave some feedback… I mean it! (anybody want a peanut?... sorry, more The Princess Bride humor)**

_Post A/N: A gold star to GabrielsDoubt for being the only one to publicly wonder about the effect of other vampire blood in her system after Ch 11. Bella is special._

_Also, I have never trained on the Spanish Web. Flying trapeze, yes. Spanish Web, no. Tried it once. So I made that up and I have no idea if I described it accurately... Sounded plausible for someone who has the Force too. LOL._


	18. Body and Soul

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.  
**

**And once again, Follow You, Follow Me belongs to Genesis.**

**

* * *

Chapter 18: Body and Soul**

**EPOV**

I had often likened Bella's nature to an iceberg… at least 85% of her feelings were buried far beneath the surface.

As it turns out, I was WAY off on this 85% part. 99% was more like it. I should have suspected based on our last night together when she released her veil to show a new level of happiness that I'd never seen before.

After all of those months, at last I was standing there with the woman who had brought light into my dark life... my shining star.

Her anger always drew me toward her. And that night I was in deep shit. Because my star was going supernova…

~#~

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" she screamed. And then she shattered another window.

Bella had been touching herself and talking about Jacob. I was already being drawn in by her scent - her sweet scent calling to me through her sweat -- and her anger and her incredibly erotic movements as she moved her hands from the outside of her pants to inside. And then her images of Jacob started filling my brain and sent me over the edge. It was torture.

Some of the first images she showed me before the Jacob horror may have been made up, possibilities for the future, but some of them were real and most were guys I hadn't known about… old images. Mike Newton kissing her at the formal. A guy doing a shot and then leaning in to kiss her. Another image of what appeared to be a college dorm room with a guy with whom she appeared to be having a wrestling match, fending off his wandering hands.

And then there were several images of Bella and Jacob, which were most vivid and, based on Jacob's appearance and age, real; they matched the images I'd seen in his head when he was remembering their time together in Boston. Shit, it was more than I'd ever imagined happening between the two of them. She had told me that seeing him naked had only happened twice before she left for business school but, the two times that I was witnessing now were clearly two too many as far as I was concerned.

The sonofabitch was there, waiting in the wings for her, ready to take her. I'd seen his mind. This time he wasn't playing with her. He was ready to accept her love. And my walking away had allowed this to happen. I'd been kidding myself. There was no way that I could live knowing that she was with someone else. In the end, I was just too selfish and I loved her too damn much.

"Bella, don't you dare! God damn it, NO! No one else can have you. I won't let that happen!" I bellowed.

_Oh SHIT! _Her eyes widened and then she ran for the studio door but I caught up with her instantly. With her back to my chest, I wrapped myself around her, my arms around her waist, my lips by her ear. "Bella," I growled, "you're mine..." My lips kissed her neck, my tongue tasted her skin. _Oh fuck, the taste!_ At first her body responded as she pressed herself closer to me, allowing me to hold her more tightly. _No, no, no... not his tongue! _But as my hands moved up toward her breasts, she grabbed me by my wrists and forcibly removed them from her.

Again, she started to make a break for it, but I grabbed her wrists and pulled her back to me. "No! No! Asshole!" she yelled, which only fueled the fire. In her fury, she started pushing me away and trying to break free of my grip but I was stronger and more determined. Her anger had drawn me in, but it was my overwhelming need and longing that pushed me to the brink. I wanted her so much, in every way, but I fought back the desire to bite her, willing my fangs to stay away. I would not bite her again like that unless she asked, I had vowed to myself; I would not hurt her again.

I shoved her back against the wall next to the door and pressed myself close to her. I tried to kiss her lips but she turned her face, so my lips moved toward her ear and then worked their way down her neck, "I've missed you so much... I love you... Let me make you feel good again, Bella," I murmured.

_Oh God, his hands... lips... that smell… feels sooo good. OH CRAP! You can hear me. You shithead!_

She started pushing me away again but was losing the fight with herself. _No… no…_ Everything about her was sucking me in… her thoughts floating through my brain… her conflict, knowing she was furious at me and yet her body wanting me too. My hands groped at her and my fingers found the waistband of her yoga pants, pausing for the briefest of moments to gauge her reaction. She inhaled and held it. _Okay... yes…_

I got down on my knees and removed them from her legs quickly. Her underwear followed suit in one quick rip. "I want you," I said huskily. "I love you, Bella. Please," I begged, "let me show you. Let me love you." Still kneeling, I kissed her stomach and then made my way down her body. Her hands moved to my shoulders in a half-hearted effort to push me away, but my hands grabbed her hips roughly to pull her closer to my mouth. My tongue caressed her slowly and then moved more ardently and deeper into her as my mouth worked urgently to fulfill my need for her. I released her hips and reached under her right leg putting it over my left shoulder. Gliding my left hand around to the small of her back, I pulled her closer to me while I inserted two fingers from my right hand into her. She gasped again and her hands stopped pushing and soon her fingers were tangled in my hair, pulling me closer as she rocked against my hand and mouth.

_Edward... _"Ungh, oh shit..._" Ah, the tongue, your hands… _"Oh God…"_ Yes… Why… Why… _She moaned and her knees buckled as she climaxed, her muscles pulsing around my fingers. My hands and body held her steady against me as her body shook.

I looked up at her and her eyes opened and met mine. They were unfocused at first and she was breathing heavily as she came down off of her orgasm. Then she was furious again and she began to push me away again. "Get away Edward! You don't get to claim me! You walked away!"

Snow Patrol's Chocolate came on her iPod as she shouted at me. And suddenly I heard her thoughts as she was distracted for a moment. _How the hell did this get on my Pissed Off playlist? Jacob must have added it… Damn it! I told him not to._

I couldn't believe I was hearing this after what had just happened between us. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I shouted. I grabbed her wrists. "Bella, I'm making love to you and you're thinking of JACOB?!"

"No! No, Edward, I LET you do that. That wasn't 'making love', in case you've forgotten the difference," she hissed. "And I'll think whatever the hell I want!" _Freakin' MEN! All the same._ She shook her head as she glared down at me. "You're here because of Jacob, aren't you? He comes sniffing around and you're back to mark your territory!"

Her anger was still pulling me toward her. Being near to her after being without her for so long was like being an addict suddenly close to a fresh supply of drugs. "Damn it, Bella! You're mine!" I growled still holding onto her wrists. "I'm here because of YOU. I'm here because of ME. I won't let Jacob, or anyone else, have you."

My mouth moved up her stomach and I let go of her wrists so that my hands were free to wander underneath her top, cupping her breasts and playing with her nipples. "I can't be without you, Bella. I WON'T be without you any longer!" Soon I was standing again, my lips on her neck and shoulders. I pressed myself against her and she moaned. "Oh shit, you're really hard!"_ I hate you for this. _"Oh, God, I want you..." she breathed. _Fuck me..._

Whether she meant that fuck me as 'I'm so screwed' or as 'screw me,' I took it as a green light. I reached for my jeans button… and her hands helped as I unzipped my pants and we shoved them with my underwear down to my ankles. This all looked and felt horribly wrong; it was not the sweet reunion that I had imagined for us over the past two days and yet the unbridled need I had for her was propelling me. And I could hear her need in her head intermingled with her anger. She was fighting herself even as she was helping me undress.

_So stupid! So stupid! So stupid! This will end me when he runs again. One last time, Bella. One last time. _

"I won't run Bella. I'll never leave you again." I brought my body up against her once again, my knees pushing between hers to separate her legs. Then lifting her up to straddle me, I pressed her back up against the wall as she wrapped her legs around me. "Mine, Bella," I stated, as I entered her. She gasped and then stared into my eyes.

"You shit!" _You left me! You left me!_ She repeated this thought with every stroke as I pounded her against the wall.

_Mine. Mine. Mine._ I answered back with each thrust. "You belong with me, Bella. I love you." Once again, I tried to kiss her lips but she turned her face each time. So my lips found her neck. "Say it… say you love me. Say you're mine…" I murmured as my mouth worked its way over her soft skin.

Her eyes were furious and defiant. "No," she breathed. _Damn you, Edward Cullen. Damn you to hell for this!_

In all of the times we'd been together, we'd had playful and fun sex. We'd had sex driven by lust. And we'd made love over and over. But this night was different. She was furious with me for leaving her and I with her for suggesting that any other man could touch her.

It wasn't lustful sex. It wasn't playful and fun. And it definitely wasn't making love.

It was animal. It was raw. It was based on pure need and desire.

It was fucking incredible… or an incredible fucking, however you wanted to look at it.

But I realized that Bella merely screwing me wasn't necessarily a good thing. _What had she said? That she wanted me one last time?_

There was no love attached to her part of this; she was trying to say goodbye.

_No Bella, this isn't the end. I won't let you tell me goodbye._

We were both breathing heavily as our bodies rocked together in unison. Her beautiful angry eyes bore into mine and then they opened wide. I could feel her pulsing around me as she climaxed again. "Oh God!" she gasped as she threw her head back. Allowing herself another moment of ecstasy as her orgasm continued, she stayed looking up almost as if she actually were praying to God and her hands were splayed open by her face. And then her face contorted as she started to cry. _Why, Edward? Why? _Her body began to shake and she threw her arms around my neck, clinging to me as she cried on my shoulder.

I came immediately after, spilling into her, my head falling on her shoulder, my body shaking as I clung to my angel, our physical need spent for the moment. She continued to grasp me, and I held on to her, unwilling to let her be any farther from me than this. If it were my choice, I could have stayed holding her like this forever. I'd missed her so much. _I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry for everything._

Finally she loosened her hold and I slowly set her down so that I could look into her eyes. I took one hand and put it under her chin, trying to raise her face to mine so that I could kiss those lips that I missed and again she snapped. She pushed me away and looked at me furiously. Wiping her eyes, she bent down reaching for her pants and put them back on. I unceremoniously pulled up my own pants at the same time. I couldn't stand being apart from her physically, still craving contact with her in any small way. I reached over to caress her arm, moving in closer to try to reach her lips and she shoved me.

"You bastard! Don't you dare! You may have had my body but my kiss means something more and you took that from me!"

Although I had felt her denial the whole time, the confirmation with her words were like an arrow through my heart. I felt it the second her words officially denied me her kiss. Those words, that I could have her body but not her soul… I felt it as I began to come apart inside. I felt a rip inside of me as all of my hopes began to crumble… and I felt like crying, something I hadn't felt since I was human.

Without warning, she smacked my face. "Fuck you, Edward!" She turned away from me, ready to get the rest of her things and go.

And then she noticed it. _What is this stuff? _She stared at her hand.

Her thumb moved against her fingers as she felt the liquid on her hand. She looked down at the ground and at her body to see where it was coming from. Coming up empty, she continued to examine her hand. Then she lifted her hand to her nose to smell it. "I think this is your blood. Did you cut yourself?" Looking back at me, she saw my face and registered it all at once.

Her mouth formed an 'O' as she gasped. Her eyes were wide and then she crumbled to her knees and curled in a ball on the floor. "NO!" she cried. The floodgates cracked. She covered her face with her hands and began sobbing uncontrollably.

I could barely understand her through her tears. "Edw-" she cried, "Are th- those tears? Oh God! I... I d-don't underst-… you're th... YOU br-broke the bond!" she wailed, rocking herself.

I wiped a tear from my eye and fell to my knees with her. I reached out to touch her hair. "Bella, I didn't break it," I breathed. "My bond is everlasting… irrevocable. And I'm so desperately sorry about what I've done. I really did do it for your protection, but I should have explained... I should have told you!"

I reached for her hands, taking them in mine. She hesitantly allowed me to do this and she looked up at me. I dared to pull her up into a sitting position as I continued. "I love you Bella... I've never stopped! I was stupid to leave you. I did it because I was scared that I could harm the one thing that I loved and needed the most, but my body and my shattered soul are, and will always be, yours."

She looked at me through her tears as I gently wiped them from her face. Her cheeks were red and blotchy from her crying and yet she still looked so beautiful. Her hand moved to my face slowly and she wiped my other eye. My dark almost bluish tear drop was on her finger. She looked at it in wonder and then brought it to her mouth to taste it. I stiffened at the sad and yet erotic image this portrayed. And then she looked at my lips, silently giving me the permission I'd been waiting for, and I didn't hesitate. I crushed my mouth on hers, taking what I had longed for too long. She gasped, parting her mouth and I took advantage of the opening. My tongue played with hers and she moaned. She pulled herself closer to me, as close as one could be with our clothing barriers yet again in our way. She kissed me hungrily, her body grinding into mine as she sat on my lap.

The kiss said it all. She was mine and I was hers. Her bond was everlasting as well.

Our kiss went on, but not long enough. She pulled back to gasp for air and looked at me, her eyes moist, tears still streaming down her cheek.

I grasped her tightly, clinging on, burying my face in her neck, my hands tangled in her hair. "I love you Bella. Please be mine again. Please," I whispered. "I'm so sorry. So very sorry. I never should have done that to you, never should have hurt you. I was so wrong. Please forgive me. Please say I haven't lost you forever. Don't go to Jacob. Don't go to anyone else." I released my grasp on her and pushed her back slightly away from my chest so that I could look into her eyes. "I love you. Be mine, Bella," I said over and over, caressing her face. "Be mine, Bella… come back to me."

She leaned her face into my hand, allowing me to caress her cheek. And then her eyes focused and she grabbed me by my shirt collar. "Edward, please," she pleaded. "I don't want to live like this anymore... always in danger, and I don't want to be without you! Turn me or drain me completely right now. Please!" she begged.

My heart leapt. _Yes! This is the right place! Thank you, Alice._ I nodded. I cupped her face in my hands and looked into her eyes. "Are you mine again, Bella?" I asked.

"I never stopped..." she breathed, "I'm yours, body and soul."

Her words healed my cracked heart and my mouth began to tingle as my fangs grew.

I inhaled sharply as the urge started to take over. "Ask me again, Bella. Ask me…" I said, my voice cracking.

Her eyes registered my meaning instantly. She gripped my shirt collar tighter. "Edward, this is my home. You're always invited. I love you... and I trust you. Please, bite me," she whispered.

I moved in for one last kiss, tenderly caressing her lips. Her tongue flicked in my mouth, finding my fangs. She inhaled and held it once again. Finally, I made my way down her neck. "I'll love you forever, Bella," I whispered. "I'll be here with you through the whole thing. Just bear through it and follow my voice. You'll see me very soon." I managed one last kiss on the pulsing vein calling to me in her neck.

And then I bit down.

"Oh. My. God!" she cried out.

~#~#~

No.

_THANK YOU, God._

In that instance, I said yet another prayer to Him, thankful that Bella made this choice. She was choosing to stay with me; she wasn't being turned to prevent her from imminent death, but because she wanted to exist with me. _I know You're there and I thank You, once again, for her._

And I drank, savoring the taste of her sweet hot blood as it gushed down my throat and the feel of my fangs surrounded by her soft warm flesh one last time. Her hands slowly released my collar as her body became limp in my arms. She was still straddled on my lap as I moved forward, laying her gently on the floor, still clinging to her throat. I could feel her heart slowing as I drank.

With her heart barely beating, I moved quickly, biting my forearm and moving it to her mouth. "Bella, love, you can hear me. Listen to my voice and do as I say. Drink, Love. Come back to me. You're mine," I repeated slowly, matching my pace to her slow heart beat. The first few drops slid down her throat but her mouth didn't move. I kept my thoughts constant. _Come back to me, Bella. You're mine. Hear me. Come back._

And then her mouth twitched. Her tongue darted out to taste the drops of blood on her lips, and then she began to drink. I pressed my forearm harder to her mouth, forcing the blood closer to her. She drank deeply, and as I saw her become more urgent, I knew it was time. I pulled away.

Her eyes were open but she was paralyzed as my blood took over her body, working its way through her veins, dancing with her blood in her system. I repositioned her so that her head was on my lap. Knowing that below her frozen exterior she was in severe pain, I held her hand and sang to her softly, hoping that she would hear me, hear the words from one of the songs she played for me on our first date:

_Stay with me  
My love, I hope you'll always be  
Right here by my side  
If ever I need you, oh my love..._

_I will follow you, will you follow me?  
All the days and nights that we know will be  
I will stay with you, will you stay with me?  
Just one single tear in these passing years..._

I could hear the thoughts of my family as they entered the surveillance room behind me. _We're here, Edward. We're with you,_ Esme thought. I nodded as I continued to sing to my Bella, not wanting to break our connection... wanting her to hear me, to make sure that she knew I was waiting, to give her something to come back to...

Bella's heart suddenly began racing as my blood took over in its final act... and I held my breath and watched as the human girl I loved died in my arms.

* * *

**A/N: To quote an old song by the The Byrds: "To everything - turn, turn, turn."**

**So a bunch of you wrote comments in the earlier break up chapters that you wanted to see Edward begging her on his knees. And since Bella mentioned it too, I put him on his knees alright and I tried to make him useful... (*insert Emmett's wiggly eyebrows here*)**

**Thanks for sticking with it. PLEASE leave some feedback…**

****_Post A/N: swordphishtrombones has the live version of Follow You, Follow Me from the 2007 concert tour in Dusseldorf on YouTube as well. In case you want to hear it._

_And yet another big epharisto to my FF bud MrsEdwardCullenP for her moral support on the small glass of lemonade I have in the chapter. Thanks Pen!_


	19. Genesis

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.**

**Nor do I own Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or its characters. And Bring Me to Life belongs to Evanescence.**

_A/N 1: Warning - long-ass chapter here. Lots to discuss._

**

* * *

Chapter 19: Genesis**

**BPOV**

In the book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", an alien named Ford prepared a human named Arthur for the jump to hyperspace with an exchange that went something like this:

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk," said Ford.

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" asked Arthur.

"Ask a glass of water," Ford replied.

Edward's love bites never prepared me for this. For a while there, I felt like the water.

~#~

At first it was the wonderfully luscious feeling that I typically felt when he gave me a love bite: A sharp pinch from the initial puncturing of the skin. A small throbbing sensation in my neck as the two fangs sank in deeper. The contrasting sensation of hard and soft… his soft, sensual lips around his hard, sharp teeth. His velvet tongue, darting out and swirling around the wounds, lapping up the blood to take it into his mouth.

And the feeling of his hands on my body, gripping me, pulling me, holding me close to him. Although I usually lay almost paralyzed underneath him for those few moments, my arms heavy at my sides, I always felt as if I were clinging to him as well. He was the only thing I could see, feel, hear.

And then the actual blood intake. Oh God. A very slow, deep pull. I guess I could liken it to our gentle lovemaking sessions when he would slowly pull out after entering me. Out… and in… out… and in… Slow pull… stop. Slow pull… stop. When he sucked in, I inhaled. When he stopped, exhale. It was involuntary. With each pull, I was one with him.

Normally a love bite went like on this for only four to six pulls. And for a brief moment after he released me, I would hear nothing but the rush of blood in my ears. My body always felt like it was undertaking the most intense stretch and then satisfying release that could be felt in every pore. Every cell moaned with pleasure; I felt numb and then instantly alive… and this feeling would usually stay with me for hours.

But after a while it felt different. When he lost control three months before, I'd passed out at this point. However, this time – because I'd already been drained that much in the past, I guess – I was aware of everything. All of the life-blood flowing out of those two little holes drawn from every other part of my body. I felt empty. I felt like my whole body was being squeezed through those two holes. I felt like I was being turned inside out almost like a sock being sorted fresh from the laundry, but a sock was mercifully oblivious to the process. I was not.

I lost my vision somewhere through it, although I could still feel Edward on me. In fact, it felt like he was everywhere for a while and that I had completely disappeared… but as my heartbeat began to slow, even the feeling of him faded.

It was almost complete sensory deprivation. I saw, smelled, tasted, felt, nothing. The only sense left was my hearing and all that registered was my slowing heartbeat very far off in the distance. How long this went on for, I have no clue. I felt like I was in one of those isolation tanks I had tried once in Amsterdam; it felt like I was in there for years, but it may have only been a matter of minutes or seconds.

Then my senses started to return as every part of Edward called me back to him. Taste returned first: I had his cold blood dripping down my throat and it was so sweet and soothing. As I became aware of his open forearm, of him pressing his arm to my mouth, I wanted and reached out for more. My tongue moved on its own accord, darting out to take in more blood. My lips covered his open gash as I sucked on the wound. Smell followed soon after: I could smell Edward's wonderful scent so close to me. My hearing, which had been with me throughout, registered a slow chant; Edward was speaking to me softly, "Come back to me, Bella. You're mine. Hear me. Come back."

My ability to see did not return; I was still blind. But feeling returned with a vengeance as his dark blood made its way into my body and my system. It was cold to drink but even icier as it started circulating. And as my body started to absorb it, it felt like what I imagined liquid nitrogen feels like – so cold that it burned. The emptiness I'd felt earlier was gone and now I felt full... cold and full.

Then the pain really began. As when I had ingested Edward's and Jasper's blood, my body felt the changes. The tightening of my muscles. The strengthening of my bones. It had been painful before when I only took a small amount of their blood, but then it was concentrated on the parts that were injured. This was happening throughout my body and instead of making my organs heal, it was eliminating their need. I wouldn't need my kidneys or liver anymore. I wouldn't need my lungs, And I wouldn't need my once-shattered heart.

On that first night when Edward and I sat in my apartment and he answered my questions about vampires, he told me that turning by blood sharing was infinitely less painful than venom. _Um, are you fucking kidding me??? Really?_

I had heard the comedienne Carol Burnett once described labor pains in this way: Take your bottom lip…and pull it over your head. That description alone was enough to make me terrified about giving birth and it was partly what drove my ridiculous fear of having a child back when I had been pregnant. That was just the labor pains! Not the actual pushing out of the baby! Can you understand why I'd be terrified?

Let me tell you, I'd take bottom lip pulling any day after experiencing this.

In a word: **OW**.

In a longer string of words: **OH MY GOD, BY ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE MAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAIN END!**

Had I not been so focused on the war which raged in my body, working its way to my heart – and, oh yeah, not rendered immobile by it all – I would have gone out and purchased freakin' medals for Edward and his family for having to deal with anything more painful than what I was experiencing. He said that his transformation lasted three days… three days! I wasn't sure I would be able to tolerate this for three minutes!

Having had the venom in me for a short period in Italy, I knew what that felt like. The difference was like night and day… or rather, fire and ice, but from what I could tell, the venom would have just burned hot during the transformation. I had liquid nitrogen running through me… not just ice but fire as well. I was convinced that if someone took a hammer to me, I would shatter into little pieces like Robert Patrick did in T2.

I could feel Edward's hand in mine, I could taste his lips on mine, I could smell his essence swirling around me, I could hear his mind and his words... But my body was paralyzed and I was still blind. I felt like I was drowning in this icy cold fire. I wanted to scream and I was screaming in my head. I hoped that he wasn't able to hear me.

My blood was still in my system, but I had been drained to the point such that his blood would dominate… and mine would have to submit. My blood would be taking instructions from his from now on. As I wasn't very good at being bossed around in general, I could only pray my blood didn't decide to act like the rest of me that night.

In my agonized state, crazy thoughts floated through my brain trying to distract my body from the pain. I tried counting but pretty soon the counts sounded like 1,487 – OW - 1,488 – SHIT – 1,489 – FUCK … and I gave up on the counting. I started to recite the lines from some of my favorite movies but when OW, SHIT and FUCK started making their way into the dialogue, I abandoned that too. And then I started scrolling through my head as if it were an iPod, trying to find songs that might be the slightest bit distracting. For a few moments, I realized that that Edward wasn't kidding about my old "Loud and Kicking" playlist and that Amy Lee had to have firsthand knowledge about what I was going through right at that moment:

_Wake me up (Wake me up inside)  
I can't wake up (Wake me up inside)  
Save me (Call my name and save me from the dark)  
Wake me up (Bid my blood to run)  
I can't wake up (Before I come undone)  
Save me (Save me from the nothing I've become)  
Bring me to life_

Seriously. Listen to the whole song. If that isn't about being converted into a vampire, my name isn't Isabella Swan.

And finally, as my blood cells mapped on to his, clinging for dear life, asking his to lead us out of this pain, I could hear Edward singing to me, God bless him. I thought of the moment when I realized he was shedding real vampire tears and that he truly was bonded to me for eternity. It shocked me and made me realize that we really were meant for each other. The whole situation brought me back to that earlier moment on the pond when he skated to my other Genesis song and I wondered what he was and how there could be someone like him in the world... someone who seemed to have been created just for me. The bond was permanent, from both sides. Neither time nor distance had broken it.

I did as he told me to do… I focused on his voice and paid attention to the words he sang. There was something to hold on to… something better that was waiting for me beyond this torture. It became my singular focus until the moment when the icy fire in my heart burned excruciatingly cold… and then suddenly froze.

All pain ended. My heart had died.

And my life began.

~#~

As soon as my heart stopped, the veil which covered my eyes lifted and all my senses, now heightened beyond imagination, threatened to overpower me with the flood of information they shot into my system. I inhaled once at the shock, an involuntary, human reaction now that breathing was unnecessary, which only served to make me even more amazed at the world that swirled around me… a world I never knew existed. I immediately closed my eyes to register every sensation.

Lavender. I smelled lavender… and freesias. Some wonderful floral combination of lavender and freesias, mixed with honey and lilac. That was the most powerful smell, but a close second, right next to it, was just honey and lilac and sunlight. Does sunlight have a smell? It does when it heats up the honey and lilac, making them into a delicious warm treat. Then there were mixtures of other smells wafting around from both in the room and outside: cinnamon, apple, chocolate, pine, cherry wood, fresh cut grass, dew, cherries… all coming at me at once and somehow my brain was able to catalog them all.

My skin could feel the air dancing around. I could feel the dust particles touching me. I could feel the threads of the cotton in the fabric around me- not the fabric, but actual individual threads that made up the garments. I could feel the grain of the smooth wood underneath my bare ankles that lay against the floor. And I could feel the soft touch of his once cool hand – no longer cool as my temperature matched his – holding mine.

I heard movement all around me. The buzzing of the current of electricity running through the stereo equipment and the light fixtures. Leaves growing on the trees outside. A spider building a web on a bush outside. The rustling of clothing as he moved below me and as others somewhere nearby took a step closer to where I lay taking all of this in.

And then I felt his lips on mine… and I inhaled sharply, once again, as that kiss sent a shock wave through my body from my head down to my toes.

I could hear his mind before he spoke. "Bella," he murmured, his lips still caressing mine, "open your eyes, my love."

I didn't want to. I was enjoying this too much. His lips, his wonderful so-that's-what-it-was sun-kissed honey-lilac scent.

"Bella, Love, look at me."

I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful person in the world hovering above me.

"Holy shit!" I breathed. _Nice first words, Bella._ For a millisecond I was distracted by my voice; I noticed that it sounded slightly different. A little more melodic. _Hmmm._ But then I was right back in the Edward zone.

He was looking at me with concern. "What? Are you okay, my love?"

I'd always thought of him as gorgeous… but my human eyes were unable to register this amount of perfection. _Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!_ "Edward…" I managed to say, "you're d-azzling! Oh my God, I don't have the words..."

"I could say the same of you, Bella," he said, smiling that holy shit beautiful smile. Then his mouth twisted into my favorite smirk. "Dazzling, huh? So you're saying you're attracted to me?" he asked, repeating the words he asked me on our first official date.

I sat up so quickly I didn't even know I had done it. I had barely registered the thought that I wanted to sit when there I was. _Wow!_ And then I turned to face him. "Jeez, Edward, what the hell has someone that looks like you been doing hanging around someone like me? Don't you know how mismatched we are?"

"Bella," he growled, "I can't believe that this is the first thing you think when you wake up. I've told you time and time again that you've never seen yourself clearly. Well, now at last you will." He looked back at the surveillance room. "Unfortunately, you shattered the mirror in this room."

Alice leapt over the broken glass and through the window. "Um, I hate to interrupt this little argument but there is a full-length mirror in the restroom in the corner." She grinned at me. "Hi Bella. Welcome to our world! You really should take a look at yourself," she said.

I looked at Alice. She was more stunning as well! I didn't even want to see Rosalie and her perfection. _Oh crap, they're all like this. Great, I'll be the ugly vampire in the family._

Edward went to help me stand, but I was up before I knew it. My limbs felt graceful and sinewy. It was so easy to move. I could tell that ghosting was going to be fabulous and that I was going to have to really restrain myself from doing it all of the time.

Edward held my hand. "Are you ready to see yourself?"

"No."

"You should. Come, my love."

"Aw, look how I'm dressed... I look like a slob!" I said, taking my hair out of my ponytail and fluffing it to try to make something out of the mess that I was.

He smirked and rolled his eyes. "Your clothes have nothing to do with what you look like, Bella," he said, squeezing my hand in encouragement.

"Hey, don't tell her that! I plan on upgrading her entire wardrobe now that she's one of us!" Alice cried.

We went to the bathroom in the corner. I walked slowly, feeling extremely anxious. I noticed that the dawn was breaking outside. _Is it tomorrow?_ I realized that I had undergone this transition in less than 12 hours. _Three days of venom? Really? These folks deserved fucking monuments erected in their honor for lasting through that!_

Alice ghosted over and opened the door for me. And then I came into view.

I gasped at the sight. _Wow…_ "Holy cow! I'm pretty!" I looked up at Edward. "Did your blood do that to me?"

He smiled his holy shit stunning smile. "No, Bella. You've always looked like that. And you're more than pretty, Love. You're beautiful. Your eyes should be able to register that now."

I looked at the woman in the mirror. She was beautiful. _I've always looked like this?_ I laughed and was struck again by a slight musical tone to my voice. Then I looked up at him and smirked. "Jeez, Edward, what the hell has someone who looks like me been doing with a schmoe like you?"

I heard the family laughing and I picked up their movements as they started to make their way toward our section of the studio.

He moved to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, looking at the two of us in the mirror. "You've been indulging me, and for that I will be eternally grateful." He kissed my cheek and started nuzzling my neck. "I love you, Bella."

I spun around in his arms to face him. "Oh yeah? I expect you to show me how much you love me and how grateful you are for all of eternity, Mr. Cullen," I breathed, grabbing him by his collar and pulling his mouth to mine.

_Oh my God, his kisses are better now! Is that even possible?_ His lips and tongue shot another wave through me and I pressed myself closer, his desire only serving to feed mine even more. _Shiiiit, Bella, don't tempt me! We can't right now… we have company. Damn it!_

I heard some coughing in the background and then Emmett's voice in Edward's head… or was that my head? I wasn't able to tell at that moment and, for my sake, I hoped that it was just Edward's head… otherwise, I was never going to visit them in Denali.

_You two and studios. We should have made your house into one big studio the way you keep getting each other off in them! _Then Emmett paused. _Uh, dude, get a room later, huh? At least let us say hello to her!_

_Aw, rats._ I broke away and looked at him. "I love you too, Edward Cullen." I started to turn to greet the family when I turned back one last time to look in the mirror. Then I laughed.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"Well, it is a good thing I liked my hair in this shorter length... because I'm stuck with it now!"

~#~

We spent the next month in Denali with the Cullens teaching me how to be a vampire. It was amazing how different I felt. I could run extremely fast. I was stronger, so much stronger than before. I could see greater distances and hear the whisper of a noise so much farther. I was more agile. I could pick up and distinguish so many more scents than my human nose would have ever been capable of. Shit, even my voice was prettier, almost musical. As I was now technically a predator, all of these skills came in handy for hunting - animals, of course - which they taught me as necessary backup in case I ever found myself without blood bank product.

Of course, having blood bank blood made my assimilation and adjustment so much easier than in the old days, they told me. I heard this so many times over the first month, I began to wonder if this wasn't the vampire equivalent of the "When I was your age, I walked to school in the snow, uphill, both ways, with no shoes on," lecture that grandparents used to say to their grandkids. After a while, I stopped listening to them tell me how much easier I had it… but the truth was, I knew that it couldn't have been easy back in their day.

But for me, for some reason, I think it was even easier than others might have experienced it. Apparently, I was born to be a vampire as my Vulcan nature kept me in check most of the time. And aside from the occasional off-feeling that I had after drinking a cordial – similar to the off-feeling I had when I had been drinking blood when I was pregnant – everything went better than any of them could have imagined. They introduced me into society carefully, taking me out at night where we knew we'd find humans, letting me adjust to their scents. And while their blood did smell good, I found that as long as I drank my cordial regularly, and I stayed relatively calm, any violent desires to bite humans never surfaced…

…Which meant time back in the studio. I started back on a regular regime of karate to help keep my emotions in check, and this obviously helped me balance off my new Jasper powers. No anger, no humans, no venom, no biting. No problem!

Of course, Edward liked me to do more boxing/kickboxing when I wasn't spending time around humans… because it did not keep me calm. In fact, it had the opposite effect, which was his goal. And so, unlike the times when I did karate alone in my studio, Edward liked to be with me when I decided to box, particularly if I was boxing wearing just my sports bra and shorts. Because I had been in the best shape of my life before turning with all the boxing and the weight loss, I didn't feel as self conscious as I once might have. Alice and the rest of the Cullen women were correct when they told me in that spa in Vegas that you didn't sweat the small stuff as a vampire. Walking around naked in front of Edward was no problem for me anymore, much to his delight.

And yeah, there was that… my two Edwards. They were still around, but now Caring Edward had less to worry about since I no longer required sleep. So Horny Edward came out to play… a lot. And neither had to be careful with me anymore. Holy schmoly... it was fan-fucking-tastic.

As for my cover story? I spent the first few weeks of my conversion sick with mono. At least that is what the folks at BCG were told. Highly contagious, need to rest and not infect people, use a mask when you're around me mono. So I finished up the project for Greg at a distance, working on my laptop from the house in Denali. Luckily, I had had the report drafted and Jake and I had finished all analyses before that night, so completing everything was fairly straight forward and easy…

...Except for the Jake part. Edward told me about his conversation with Jacob and so I knew that he had played a big hand in getting us back together. Despite his selflessness in this case, I couldn't help but feel a little sad. I realized after the night I was turned that sticking that Snow Patrol song where he had was intentional; Jacob had been trying to tell me his feelings and the song lyrics fit so well… and I knew that the first conversation wasn't going to be easy.

Right after our first project team conference call that week, Jacob called me back from his cell phone. From the background noises, I could tell he was walking around outside.

"Did he find you?" Jacob asked. And I knew from his tone that he knew the answer.

"Yes, he did." And he knew from my tone what that meant.

He was quiet. "I hope he makes you happy. I told him I'd kill him if he hurt you again."

"I know, he told me. He does make me happy, and I'll kill him myself if he ever hurts me like that again, but I don't think we have to worry about that. He won't." I paused. "Thank you Jacob. For everything you did for me."

"Any time, Bells. I hope you know that. Any time," he said softly.

Jacob left BCG a week later to go to Stanford Graduate School of Business. He had been accepted and originally had deferred for a year… but now that life had changed for me, he decided he needed to make a change as well, and the partners pulled some strings and got the school to let him start in the Fall. I knew it was the best decision for him, although I still felt a little sad at how it worked out. And although I knew that our friendship might suffer for a little while as he adjusted to his position in my life, I was hopeful that we'd end up in a good place eventually.

So finally, it was time to go back. I felt good and no one was worried about my return back to my life because I had been out so many times among humans by that point. I was practiced in the art of not ghosting and moving like a human, including blinks, fidgets and non luring voice. On our last day out in Denali before we headed back to Chicago, Edward and I went for a walk to a little meadow he had found and really loved to visit. It was great taking this walk alone with him away from the family. As my blood was still adjusting to his, we weren't quite sure whether I'd fully absorbed his mind reading. However, I heard them often enough for us to believe that it was only a matter of time. The only difference was that my mind was better able to shield them out when I wanted to. Edward's mind was the only one I couldn't turn off. We were connected.

As we made our way to the clearing, he hummed the small lullaby he'd written for me over the past month. It was a beautiful song and, like Holly Hunter's tune from "The Piano", I could feel his love pouring out through the notes. I smiled up at him and just felt so content. Suddenly, he stopped and chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"Bella, are you loving life so much and so ecstatic that you can't remember to keep your shoes tied? You're going to trip!" He knelt down to fix my sneaker.

I looked down but his head was blocking my view of my sneaker. Putting my hands on his shoulders, I said, "Vampires don't trip, silly; we have super balance! So what if it's untied?"

And then he looked up at me, his angel face glowing. I heard it and saw it at the same time: he had the ring in his hands. Smiling his holy shit amazing smile, he looked up at me through his eyelashes. _Will you still marry me, Bella?_

_Oh, the ring is back!_ My energy level shot up and my knees buckled as I tried to hold on to him. _Okay, so much for vampires having super balance and not falling! Yeesh! I'm still such a human!_ His reflexes were just as fast as ever as he put one hand at the small of my back to catch me and then quickly lay me down on the grass.

He laughed, his green eyes managing to twinkle and smolder at the same time. "Glad I can still have this effect on you, Bella." He took the ring and put it on my left hand. My new eyes were able to see all of the perfection in the facets and the sparkle from the sun. Just amazing.

He moved to hover over me on his hands and knees, looking down at me. _Are you mine_?

I nodded. _Forever._

He lowered himself down so that he was on top of me, kissed my lips gently and began kissing my neck. _Personally, I think the ring would look best on you without all the rest of this stuff on_, I heard, as his hands slowly started to remove my clothes.

Actually, it did.

* * *

**A/N 2: Yep. There was a method to my Genesis madness after all... From the first date and then the original reveal on the pond in AAVIC to the songs in the studio and the genesis of Bella the vampire.**

**Nope. Not quite the end. One last chapter.**

**Unlike Edward, I have to ask to hear your thoughts! Please tell me!**

_Post A/N: And yet another epharisto to my FF bud MrsEdwardCullenP for her input on 'turning!' Thanks Pen!_


	20. The Two Bellas

**Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.**

**

* * *

Chapter 20: The Two Bellas**

**EPOV**

I'd heard it said that you should 'marry up.' Marry someone 'better' than oneself. When I was human, it was quite common for young women to do this… to seek a spouse with a better social status, standing and wealth. For me, this definitely applied to Bella… but not for any of these reasons. I was marrying up alright.

Bella was superior to me in every way and I never ceased to be amazed that she loved me. She was smart and funny. Kind and serious. Honest and direct. And so incredibly beautiful. I knew this about her before she was turned.

And then there was after…

~#~

Turning Bella was one of the scariest things I ever had to do. I know that I looked calm to her but I was a basket case inside. This was another reason why my family had come along that weekend to Forks. With the exception of Jacob's fortuitous interference, Alice had orchestrated many of the details necessary to get us to that point… their involvement in Italy, including having Jasper be the one to provide blood to her, the building of the Forks studio and house, and the family's proximity that night to be on hand to assist if I went too far. As it turns out, I didn't need their assistance once she had given me permission in her house… but never having turned a human before, particularly one who meant so much to me, I was still nervous.

In those first few months, I learned so much more about her than I had known before. Now, I had always cockily thought of myself as one of the smartest members of my family, second only to Carlisle. I had above average intelligence before my conversion and I'd used my time for the past 85 years to learn and better myself. This was, of course, made possible by my vampire brain. During the transformation, our brain capacity expands which improves our ability to multi-task, to multi-process. And so, with my eight advanced degrees, knowledge of several different languages and my world travels, I'd become a true renaissance man. Quite the catch by any standards… 1918 or today.

Bella brought me to my knees in awe. Just over 75 years younger and I was bowing to this young thing. Bella was a genius. Her mind was superior to mine at the start. She was more intelligent at her point of conversion than I had been. She didn't have the benefit of the years and expanded brain capacity, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Just time. And we had all the time in the world now.

And my Bella was even more amazing as a vampire than as a human. To my disappointment, I was not able to hear her once she was turned. Her mind remained shielded unless her energy - no longer human energy, but rather vampire energy - was up. Everything about her as a vampire was, as expected, magnified from her human traits. She could process through things quickly before, but now! She was laser sharp and lighting fast. And her control! Jesus! She was able to walk amongst humans within two weeks of her conversion and barely be tempted.

We moved back to Chicago after that first month where we celebrated the 27th anniversary of her birth – which she insisted on calling '26 the second.' She was adamant about not being ten years older than her husband and being accused of robbing the cradle. I reminded her that I had three quarters of a century on her and that she looked just as young as I did… but she just gave me the stink eye and warned me to keep in line, or else.

"Or else what?" I teased, ghosting to her and wrapping myself around her.

"Mentioning 27 comes to an end, or Edward's hand becomes his best friend," she whispered in my ear, taking my hand and putting it on my crotch.

_Yes, maam,_ I agreed, moving my hands to caress her body instead. As far as I was concerned, there were no numbers after 26.

Bella returned back to BCG and immediately started on a new local project while I returned back to the lab and back to working again on my PhD. She rapidly realized how easy her 'human' life was now that her brain was working faster than ever. She was able to complete so much of her work so fast that she had ample time in the evenings and nights to spend with her horny yet doting – never-mentioning-the-number-27-again – fiancé.

I quickly got the renovations restarted on the back of the house based on some rework that Esme and I discussed when we were in Denali. We modified it all to build a mini-studio for Bella… oh, hell, for us. If I saw her going in there in her little shorts and sports bra, I was right behind her; that outfit was a very close second to the blue bikini as far as I was concerned. Combine that with her "Pissed Off" playlist and the punching bag and I was a goner.

I'd follow her into the studio and taunt her and make up my poems: "Edward watches Bella box, Bella plays with Edward's cock..."_ Hmmm, box, cock... close enough..._ "Edward!" she'd hiss. _Heh heh heh..._

And watching her box, I'd basically lust after her, which was only made worse – or better, depending on your perspective – by her new Jasper emotion-absorbing ability. Once she was all riled up, the gloves came off… along with the clothing. Every single item. No matter where we lived for the rest of our existence, I decided that a studio would be mandatory.

Bella's emotions as a vampire were sooo much more exciting than when she was human! Angry human Bella had always turned me on. Angry vampire Bella, with her Jasper power?

Three words: HO. LY. SHIT.

She was a Vulcan one moment but with Jasper's blood - and my, uh, encouragement - she was a volcano. So I'd plan ways to piss her off, when she was at work and away from being able to read my thoughts, and I'd spring them on her when she wasn't ready. Which only served to piss her off more. _Hallelujah!_

And then there was happy Bella. For some reason, Happy Bella liked to go down on me… go figure! Oh yes... I took her to "Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind" and "The Second City" shows.

A LOT.

Lucky for me, her scent and taste never changed... still so powerfully tempting, she would forever smell and taste virginal to me. Her blood, when I bit down on her during sex, was still soooo good… so that lovely little vein in my favorite place? Oh yeah, I visited that spot a lot, but now there was a difference because Bella bit me too. Think of it as the vampire equivalent of 69: phen-fuckin-omenal!

Now none of these developments or realizations were really that big of a surprise to me. When you become a vampire, your likes, dislikes, habits, etc. all become fixed. We're like living statues… never changing. So my Bella… was just more Bella. But what was amazing to me was to find out that while human Bella said that she didn't need or want a wedding - in the traditional sense - in our first discussion the night I proposed in January, she was just being kind. Vampire Bella REALLY didn't want a wedding… a little development that caused a small rift between her and Alice for a little while.

As soon as we returned from our meadow on that last day in Denali, Alice – already knowing that I'd put the ring back on Bella's hand – accosted her about the wedding plans the minute we walked back into the house. Bella was polite, indicating they would discuss it after we settled back in Chicago, but she quickly ran to our room, changed into her sports bra and shorts, and went back to the studio, frustrated at having to go through this again with Alice.

Yes. You know damn well that I followed her. Well, she needed some way to work out her frustration… I mean, other than punching that bag, no? Just trying to help her out...

And Alice didn't let up. She insisted that Bella needed a real wedding because the first time one gets married it should be special. But Bella argued that Alice was just trying to fulfill her need to plan a party and that this was about Alice, not Bella. Human Bella might have fallen for Alice's rationale; vampire Bella would hear nothing of it and was immune to Alice's charms and pouts, much to Alice's chagrin. So Alice tried to recruit me in to help her out.

"Edward," she said, chatting with me one day on the Batphone when Bella was at work, "I know that you want a wedding. You're the kind of guy who wants to watch his fiancée walk down the aisle… the one who wants to have the first dance with her in front of family and friends! Why aren't you helping your cause?"

I shook my head. "Alice, I put that girl through enough misery. She does not want the big fancy shindig that you want to plan. Honestly, she'd be happy just going to City Hall, and I vowed that I would try to make her happy for the rest of our existence. Can't you just let it be?"

"Don't you DARE take her to City Hall, Edward Cullen! You have as much say in this as she does. Help me out!"

"I'm not going against her wishes."

"I'll make it worth your while…" she said, in her Alice-is-up-to-something, sing-song voice.

I paused, looking at her suspiciously. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

She grinned at me, knowing she had hooked me. "Edward, I know EXACTLY what you like, and if you play along with this, we'll all get our way… even Bella…" And then she began to lay out her plan.

Alice was an evil genius. I grinned back. Hell yes, I was going to help.

So later that week, Bella returned from work and saw that she had a package from Alice. Sitting in the study at her desk, she opened it up. I heard her reaction instantly.

"Holy shit!" she shouted. I ghosted to her side immediately.

"What's wrong, Love?"

She was holding a wedding invitation in her hand. Our wedding invitation. For a November wedding in Forks at our home.

Her eyes were big… and darkening by the second. "I don't BELIEVE this," she muttered. She jumped to the Batphone to call Alice. I stood behind her watching the screen.

Alice's face appeared right away. "Hi Bella!" she said cheerily.

"Alice! What the hell is this?" she asked, holding up the invitation.

"Oh, you got it! Great! Those are your invitations! We're six weeks out from the wedding; I needed to get those out to the guests. I wanted to make sure you had your copy so that you could frame it."

"I haven't agreed to a wedding, Alice! I said I'd consider it!"

"Yes, and I foresaw that you were going to get married in November. So I just spared you the worrying and processing. It's all good!" Alice said with a big grin on her face. "You ought to be getting replies any day now."

"What? How many people did you invite?"

"Just 250."

"250? I don't even LIKE 250 people, let alone KNOW 250 people!"

"Ah, no one knows everyone at their wedding, but I worked the list out with Edward. I'll be over sometime in the next few weeks for your dress fitting; you're going to love it. I'll talk to you soon, Bella!" she said, blowing a kiss before she hung up.

Bella sat there stunned for a moment. And then she let loose. "FUCK!" she shouted, and the bulbs in all the light fixtures exploded. It was now dark in the house…but with our vampire eyes, we could see clearly.

I had a smirk on my face watching how masterfully Alice had played her end,.. and Bella turned around to look at me and saw it on my lips before I had a chance to erase it from my face.

"Oh, do you have something to say, Cullen?" she shouted. "Did I hear Alice right that you helped with the guest list?"

"Well, I might have helped," I said quietly, backing away from her as I made my way around the desk toward the center of the room.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she yelled, following me. "I thought you said that you were behind me on this! What the fuck?"

Uh, did I mention that Bella was not afraid of the fuck word anymore? She had no problem using it when needed.

God, Bella's swearing was such a turn on! I lost my head for a moment as her anger swirled around me, heating the cold blood in my veins… and lost my concentration.

She cocked her head. "Wait, what was that?"

I feigned innocence. "What was what?"

Alice chose that moment to text me.

Bella heard the beep for the text message and grabbed my phone.

**So far, so good. Remember, New Year's Eve. Have fun!**

She held the phone up to me. "What does this mean, Edward?" She stepped in closer.

Bella was listening intently, trying to peer into my mind. Her eyes started wandering around the room with her thinking look. And then she took my phone and threw it to the floor.

"Fuck, Edward! Are you two in cahoots to piss me off AND make me have a damned wedding? You asshole!" she said, shoving me. Now, with her vampire strength, a shove actually worked. I landed on the couch. _Oh yeah, baby, bring it on._

Suddenly she crouched low in an attack position and growled at me. _Bella fucking growled at me! Wearing a sexy Armani suit._ And then she spoke. "Did I just hear you call me baby?" She shook her head, her eyes darkening. "Oh, you're just going for it all tonight, aren't y-."

I thought I would lose it on the growl. I ghosted and pounced on her before she could finish the statement. _Hot damn Bella, growling... now there's a new turn-on!_ I landed on top of her on the floor of the study and pressed my body into her so that she could feel me.

"Yes," I said slowly, my mouth moving up from neck to her ear as my fingers began unbuttoning her blouse, "I'm going for it ALL tonight." I whispered in her ear. With her blouse unbuttoned, I caressed her thighs and reached under her skirt. _Fuck me, you've got the garters on under that suit._ I growled right back at her in her ear as my hands and lips worked her body.

_Um, yeah, that growling is a turn-on, isn't it?_ "Ungh. Oh," she moaned, arching her back, her body pressing closer to mine. She licked her lips and closed her eyes. "Going for it all… oh God… tonight doesn't mean – yeah, there, yeah – that you'll get your way… holy moly... on the we–" My mouth found hers and ended the conversation for the time being.

Several hours later, she snuggled in the crook of my arm as we lay on the island in the kitchen. _What can I say? We mixed it up a bit..._ I held her left hand in my right and ran my thumb up and down her lines in her palm. She was lost in her thoughts.

"Bella, Love, tell me what you're thinking."

"Why were you helping Alice? Besides trying to get me angry, I sense something else going on here." She looked at me. "You really want a wedding, don't you?"

"I do," I admitted.

"But why when I'm tied to you in every way already? When you first proposed, you said that marriage was meaningless in the vampire world and that the bond was what mattered. We're connected through blood and through our bond. I told you: I'm not that girl… the one who needs the big wedding and hundreds of guests and a fancy affair. You have me already, body and soul."

I kissed her left hand before speaking. "Bella, I know you're not that girl. In some ways you were very old fashioned for a human and in other ways, like this, you weren't and aren't. But… I was that boy. I was born at the turn of last century, my love. I never imagined a wedding because I didn't have a girlfriend before I was turned, but I always expected that I would have a girl eventually and that I would have a wedding. Now that I've found you, I want to call out our love for one another in front of our friends and family."

She was silent. I continued. "But if it is that offensive to you, I won't force it on you. I only want you to be happy."

"Of course the thought of a wedding isn't offensive, Edward. I just didn't know it was that important to you." She looked into my eyes with confusion, torn between her wants and her desire to make me happy as well.

"Maybe we can compromise, sweetness. I'll give you the wedding you never dreamed of and you give me mine."

"Oh?" she asked, and then she started to smile as she heard my thoughts. "OH! I can deal with that."

And that was how it was that Isabella Marie Swan came to marry me, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, not once, but twice over the next three months. Our compromise was simple. Bella agreed to allow the wedding of my dreams – a simple, classically elegant wedding – held in front of our close friends and family on New Year's Eve 2005 in our house in Forks, but first I had to agree to marry her in her way. Just the two of us in Las Vegas. In the Bellagio chapel on November 6th at 4 in the afternoon, with only our villa butler and Marcus from VIP services looking on as our witnesses. Bella looked stunning in a simple white dress that Alice created for her, and unbelievably happy as we joined hands to say our vows. Seeing her that happy was enough for me. Any other ceremonies we had would be just icing on the cake.

And then, on our wedding night, I learned yet another thing about my beautiful wife.

_Fuck, I love that word – wife._

She'd been holding out on me for the past three months.

We left the Bellagio chapel and made our way through the casino, the guests all stopping in their tracks to ogle at us and wish us well. We smiled and thanked them as we made our way back to our villa. Picking her up, I carried her across the threshold of the villa, unable to keep the smile off of my face. "Welcome to your villa, Mrs. Cullen," I said.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," she said, as I put her down. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me softly. My hands quickly got to work, fondling her everywhere. I was ready to strip down right there and have at it on the floor when she suddenly let go of me, backed away, and said, "I'll be right back," as she made her way to our bedroom. With her energy level hovering around a four, her mind was silent, but I planned to rectify that situation as soon as I was able to do so.

I stood outside in the living room, removing my shoes, tie and jacket, when suddenly I heard and saw her in my mind. _Hi Edward,_ she said, winking as she stood in front of her dresser mirror in our bedroom… in the blue bikini.

I was at our bedroom door in a flash and about to reach for the handle when the door opened. She came out in the blue bikini… and stiletto heels! _Jesus! _She smiled at me and I realized that her energy level was still at a four. She wasn't at an eight yet and still I'd heard her! "Bella," I asked, stunned. "How…"

She winked at me again and walked past me toward the pool. Once again, I could do nothing but follow. I walked behind her like a man in a trance… and suddenly, I felt the buttons on my shirt coming undone one by one. Then my shirt slowly fell off of me. And then the zipper on my pants slowly came down.

_HO. _

_LY._

_SHIT! _

_A Jedi disrobing. By my blue bikini-wearing wife. Is there anything hotter? No wonder she loves this. This is incredible!_

I stood there, now fully naked behind her, ready to ghost to her as I began one of my poems. _We will do it in the pool... hmm, what's a good next line?_ And then I felt it: her hands were on my erection. But she was standing with her back to me by the glass doors about 15 feet away, looking out at the patio! _What. The. Hell?_

And then I felt her MOUTH on me. _Holy Blow Job, Batman! How is she doing this?_ I could feel her mouth and hands working over my erection as if she were kneeling in front of me. I groaned. "Belllla…"

She looked back over her shoulder and grinned at me. And then, ghosting over, she shoved me backward to one of the loveseat chairs_. Why the hell haven't I ever thought of this? What good is having this freakin' power if I can't be clever like this and use it to my advantage? This woman is brilliant!_

Bella began kissing me softly on the lips while she still worked my erection with her mind. It felt like I had two Bellas on me at once. Christ, now I knew how confusing - yet erotic - the two Edwards could be. I moaned, barely able to make my mind work coherently. "Jesus, Bella," I said, groaning, "Fuck me…"

She broke all kisses at once – real and Jedi – and smirked. "Make up your mind, Edward. Jesus or me?"

That snapped me out of it. "You," I growled and I pulled the strings off of her bikini. She climbed on my lap, straddling my legs and took me inside of her in one swift movement. Her energy level was up, but still below her normal threshold… and then she smiled seductively as she began to move slowly. _Giddy up, Mr. Cullen,_ I heard her say in my mind.

_Wha?_? She was willingly letting me hear her mind below her threshold: somehow she had figured out how to lift off her mental shield! But how? I felt her Jedi lips and tongue caressing the nape of my neck and making their way down my back. "Bella!" I managed to gasp. "How are you doing this?"

She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow at me wickedly. "I'm good, _baby_," she said, as she crushed her mouth on mine.

~#~#~

NO.

I'd say that was the understatement of the year.

_My wife - oh God - is __fucking awesome__._

_The End_

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who made it through to the end of this roller coaster; I hope that you feel that your suffering was rewarded. **

**After the original posting, I found a Beta, the wonderful Irritable Grizzzly, who volunteered her Beta services. Only minor edits were made… no storyline changes. Thanks IG… awesome work yet again! Also after the original posting, AnnaLund helped re-vamp (ha) my Italian phrases - grazie!  
**

**A big epharisto to my FF pal MrsEdwardCullenP, particularly for her moral support through my attempts at racier scenes (water with a 'little lemon tweest' in them, I KNOW. But think ostrich hiding head in sand in embarrassment over here in ALE-land.) She also talked me out of giving you the five-liner ending (twice) when you were harassing me about B&E being apart for too long... Hugs and EC-kisses, Pen.**

**So is this the end for my B&E and their extended family and friends? No. There is a 4th in the trilogy (a little more Douglas Adams humor); if you like this, please continue on to Born to Be a Vampire.  
**

**So, I ask this at the end of every freakin' chapter - and thank you to the 30 or so regulars who actually submit to my humble plea (BIG hug to you all - you know who you are and **_**I**_** know who you are): **

**PLEASE leave a review! (that includes you - * points to you * - silent readers out there.)**

**Thanks, ALE**


End file.
